Post # 1
- Wedding: December 2018 - City, State
Winter Solstice <3
We eloped just before Christmas Day- December 21st 2018!
It was just the two of us and then we went to a seaside restaurant for lunch.
It turned out to be a popular day! (We got in before the rush!)
Im very happy with how the day was and no one seems to have been offended that we do so- so that’s a bonus!
We both teared up a little and has nervous giggles so I’m especially glad for not having an audience honestly!
However, family are begging us to do something to celebrate which we agreed to- I was thinking like a dinner party but the messages we are getting are definitely towards a full blown reception which I thought we got to avoid with eloping – I really didn’t expect anyone to still want that big of a celebration?
And now hubby is asking if we do just a reception or a ceremony as well- I pointed out we are already married but he feels a bit like people are robbed and we should do it all.
Ive read really strong opinions against this but Mother-In-Law is rearing to go with planning it all – what did other people do?
Im thinking more of dinner, dancing and skipping the formalities? (Apart from introducing us and thanking everyone of course)
Post # 2
We’re eloping in a little over a week. When we get back we plan to take my mom and dad and his mon out to a nice dinner. That’ll be the extent of any group celebrations.
Post # 3
You don’t have to cater to them. If they want a big wedding, they can get married and throw themselves one. You are under no obligation to throw them the kind of party they want and no one is owed a party (hence, can’t be “robbed”) and honestly in a few months they will be moving on to whatever the is next big thing happening.
Since it sounds like part of your reason for eloping was to get out of planning an elaborate reception – don’t. Most people I know who have eloped have a simple backyard BBQ or dinner in a restaurant (if anything at all – 3 of the 5 couples I know known who have eloped didn’t do anything at all – their elopement was enough for them and they didn’t feel the need to throw others a consolation party). Go with whatever you original plan was. If that was just having a nice dinner party with each of your families, then have that. If it was nothing, then do that. They’ll live.
Post # 4
- Wedding: December 2018 - City, State
The original plan was two weddings in each country (I’m from Australia he’s from America) but I was getting a bit down about the fact that one would be the “real wedding” and the other wouldn’t be and there was no way to have our families at one specific one due to health problems that prohibit travel. Then we found out you could elope same day in Connecticut so we jumped at that.
And essentially Mother-In-Law does want to throw it for us. His sister had a huge wedding and he is their only son and all that Jazz
^ just extra Info
Post # 5
janne91 : “he feels a bit like people are robbed” — Nobody was robbed of anything. Even if they were, how would a fake ceremony fix it? Just have whatever dinner/party/celebration you want. You don’t owe anyone anything, except to be a good host to whoever you you do invite.
Post # 6
janne91 : Unless you have very specific opinions of how you want it to be or not doing something they want you to do (like cake cutting), I would just go along with whatever they plan. If I don’t have to plan for it Or pay for it, I would have no problem whatsoever doing it.
Post # 7
If she wants to 100% plan and pay for a party for you and you want a party, then have at it.
I personally wouldn’t most likely, or I wouldn’t take part in planning and paying for a wedding-like party if I already planned and had a wedding (elopement). And I wouldn’t want a reinactment. That ship sailed. Celebrate the marriage; don’t put on a play fake wedding.
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2018 - Location
We eloped and then had a “reception” (pretty low key) at our favourite brewpub. We got the private room for 50 close friends and family, and we picked up the tab for everyone’s dinner and drinks. Came to only $1800, pretty good deal! We were allowed to bring in our own cake and decorations.
No fake ceremony, no speeches, etc. It was super fun!
Post # 9
Take everybody else out of the equation. Do you and your husband want a party to celebrate your elopement? If yes then throw one (or let MIL) and if no then pass on it.
Post # 10
janne91 : I’ll never understand why people (be it the couple or their family) want or expect any form of celebration after eloping. Eloping means your intent was avoiding a big celebration. You can and should still tell your family “no” to a big celebration. Go out to dinner with immediate family after arriving. But inviting every cousin, aunt, and distant friend to a reception just is silly.