(Closed) We got 3 gifts and 3 cards at our wedding…normal?

posted 9 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 90
1369 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

This happened to me as well…I mean my mom or uncle on my dad’s side didn’t give me or my DH gifts.

Most of our guests attended a bridal shower so DH and I got around 2500 in money and gifts – I think we got 4 gifts and 5 cards from Out of Town guests that couldn’t make it. My favorite is the recently wedded couple who came and didn’t even leave a card. Meh – it’s over and doesn’t really matter now.

Post # 91
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@CMSnails: Yea I mean some people sent gifts while we were on our honeymoon and stuff so that isn’t what I mean… our wedding was September 3rd and I had compiled my thank you card list and noticed the glaring lack of gifts.

In my heart I guess I do know why they didn’t give us anything. It’s because they didn’t care… they didn’t make it a priority and still don’t think it’s important. That just makes me angry we invited people who aren’t over the moon happy for us and our marriage. When my friends get married I can’t WAIT to celebrate and shower them with love and gifts. Even if I can’t afford it. I don’t care because that’s how much I love them. So I guess that’s how it’s making me feel and it is really bumming me out.

Can I use some lame excuse like “I’m worried some gifts/cards were misplaced in the choatic 24 hours between wedding and our 5 week honeymoon” to dig deeper? Or is that just sinking to their level? I feel like people don’t even know about the 1 year rule.

On that note, my sister-in-law never sent thank you cards for her bridal shower, and didn’t send out wedding thank yous until 6 months after her wedding. I was pretty appalled, and my mom was offended she never got a thank you for her shower gift. Again, it’s just about not feeling appreciated on all sides. Sorry for the mini-rant!

Post # 92
5789 posts
Bee Keeper

I really feel so bad for all of you who didn’t get many gifts or even cards. I really don’t get it.

My nephew got married last Saturday and the cards were overflowing and filled with cash and checks. People were very generous, and are still sending cards in the mail. Is it more of a regional thing? I really don’t understand!

The one year ‘rule’ is a myth,btw. They should send them asap or within three months.

Sometimes parents don’t give a seperate gift if they are covering most of the wedding expenses.

Post # 93
1369 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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@ItWasntMe:My mom didn’t do ANYTHING for my wedding. She gave my brother a gift for his wedding 2 months before mine.

Post # 94
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012


Second, sorry that you didn’t have the gift turnout you were hoping for! I can’t believe that so many people would show up at a wedding without something.

In my experience a (HUGE family, hence lots of weddings I’ve attended), those who were invited to the shower gave the bride either a personal and sentimental gift or a gift from the couple’s registry. At the wedding, a card was placed in the birdcage/cardbox and it contained $50 per person who attended the event. Since it was my mother, my father, and me in attendance, we contributed $150 on the wedding day. Plus, we participated in the dollar dances, which are a norm for weddings in my family.

The way we feel, there are 2 gigantic times of your loved ones’ lives.. the day they marry the love of their life and the day that they become a parent. They are days to ccelebrate, and to gift generously.

Oh, I should make an exception here for my cousin who has been married 10 times.. she only got the $150 for the first two.. after that, we just figured a card with best wishes would suffice.

Post # 95
43 posts
  • Wedding: December 2012

@lwilliams107: That is NOT the norm.  I am so sorry.  IMO to not bring a gift of some sort would be rude enough, but not even a card – that’s beyond RUDE!

Post # 96
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

So sorry. That really isn’t normal. On the bright side, you don’t have to break your wrist writing thank you’s. But rude of your guests not to at least give a congrats card even if they don’t gift money.

Post # 97
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

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@badcorebubbles: Not sure what to tell you about how to respond. I have a friend where this happened to, so I’ll ask them what they did. Some of the people coming to their wedding are probably coming to mine so at least I know not to expect gifts from all 🙂

Post # 98
1100 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Wow, I’ve never heard of people gifting 1 gift per wedding let alone, NOTHING. That is crazy and I’m sorry to hear that!

Post # 102
133 posts
Blushing bee

I think they had to have been stolen.  When we got married, we only got a few gifts and about 95% of our guests gave us money/gift cards. 

Several years ago, my cousin got married and had a small wedding.  ALL of her cards got stolen.  And there wasn’t anyone at the wedding who she didn’t trust.  Mostly family members and a few close friends.


After that, my husband and I made sure our wedding card box was not easily accessible.  I can’t believe how many people use open suitcases/baskets/birdcages these days.  Silly.

I hope it’s not true and your presents poured in afterward.

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