(Closed) We got a BFP but I can’t believe it’s real.

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Hostess
18641 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Have you ever found out why you are terrified of your Fiance dying?  Did you lose someone before?

I think that the at home tests are pretty accurate, I think it’s pretty unlikely to get a false positive with them.

Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Congrats, but please try to calm down and stop thinking *too* much into it. Likely you will be fine, but you can’t hinge everything on this pregnancy. It’s too much pressure. Just try not to think of every single thing at one time, just take it in steps. Go to the doctor, get an exam, start prenatal vitamins, don’t treat yourself like you’re made of glass. Nothing is guaranteed in pregnancy, but if you constantly think “What if” you will not enjoy what is supposed to be a happy time.

Post # 6
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@pigeon-noises: The thing is, pregnancies aren’t really as fragile as you think. Think about all the women all over the world who live in horrible conditions and still manage to have healthy babies. A litter box isn’t going to cause you to miscarry. If only perfect women ever had babies, no one would reproduce.

If you sit around doing nothing but observing yourself, what you’re doing/eating/drinking/feeling like/ you’re going to end up causing stress, and stress just isn’t good for anyone including the baby.

You should feel free to celebrate with your husband, but life continues on as it did before, you’re just pregnant (ok, minus some cocktails). And then when you feel comfortable maybe into the second triemester you can start telling people. And you should confide in your closest friends and family. Because they will be happy for you and give you advice, and if something ever did happen, you would have them to lean on.

Post # 7
Member
5095 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

yes i know its horrible to have taken it and then want a child a few months later, i know…

No, it’s not. It is entirely legitimate to not be ready for a child at a certain moment, take steps to make sure you don’t become pregnant, and then become ready a few months later. You wouldn’t say that about someone who was one the pill a few months before TTC, would you?  It’s just a different kind of birth control.

Why were you afraid that motherhood would not be something that would ever be for you?

Post # 10
Member
5095 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@pigeon-noises: Aww, you poor thing. I’m so sorry.

The one thing I know for certain is that being able to have a baby has NOTHING to do with worthiness. There are plenty of wonderful, loving, responsible women who can’t get pregnant; there are plenty of abusive or neglectful women who have no problem conceiving.

What will make you worthy is the care and love you give any child that you might have. That’s the only kind of worthiness that matters. So by that standard, I’m SURE you’re worthy. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 11
Member
794 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@pigeon-noises: 

This quote has helped me during times when I feel out of control and frustrated..

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

There is nothing you can do tonight to answer any of your questions.  Allow yourself to be in the moment with you husband and try and stay hopeful.  I understand the thought that you are so happy and are so scared to lose what is most important.  The only thing you can do is to appreciate what you have right now, today.  A husband that wants to have a baby with you and may have already.  Smile 

Post # 12
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2011

The reason you may get a negative test result in the office/lab vs at home is due to the concentration of HCG hormone that is required to be present in your urine to give a positive result. With at home tests, they tell you that you are pregnant sooner because that threshold is lower. Those tests are not regulated by any federal agency/hospital/medical policy that says…”you can’t tell a woman she’s pregnant until she has at least this much hormone in her urine”. I’m not sure of the exact numbers but basically…you can normally have a very small amount of HCG present in your blood/urine and still not be pregnant…but that’s a very small amount that most likely would only show on a blood HCG test that measures the amount not a yes/no result. Home pregnancy tests detect an abnormal spike in this hormone (meaning most likely pregnancy) however may not indicate the amount of hormone is in your urine that clinicians have determined a “safe” number that usually always leads to an “actual” pregnancy. Science and federal regulations make you put a specific criteria on everything. So all in all…you probably are pregnant..they just need to get it to a point that is clinically significant for scientific reasons before they have proof its really happening! Ha! Congrats and I hope you are!

Post # 13
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@KatyElle:  Agreed!!

 

@pigeon-noises:  *deep breath*  You will go through huge waves of emotions, but try to keep them positive.  If it helps to calm you down, try not to think of it at all and just carry on how you normally would prior to the tests.  I found that if I started to get anxious or nervous about it, I would take a walk or a jog to help clear my mind.  Just remember, this happened for a reason – enjoy every minute of it!!

Post # 14
Member
921 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@pigeon-noises:Aww, you worry the exact same way my mom does–and she turned out just fine!  As long as you can deal with your quirks, don’t worry about them.

@mightywombat:I agree.

@miss.skinner: ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 15
Member
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m so sorry you are going through this!

You are riding a difficult wave and range of emotions, don’t worry its completely normal to feel as you do. Try not to be so negative towards yourself due to your past decisions- every day is a new day and beginning ๐Ÿ™‚

Keep positive and stay in communication with your family and friends for support.

Everything will turn out how it is supposed to!

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