(Closed) “We had a good time” / hard to reflect fondly on reception

posted 6 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Oh no!  Hugs!  I’m sure it wasn’t as bad as you think it was!  Maybe you’ll feel better about it after a little bit of time has passed.

Post # 4
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

It’s ok that that’s where you’re at right now. Society pushes us to HAVE TO MOST PERFECT DAY EVER and it’s so stressful leading up to it that, um it’s hard to enjoy it all!! My friend had TONS of things go wrong on her day. I felt so bad for her. big ((hugs))!! In the end though, you were able to marry your best friend so there’s the bright side! 

Post # 5
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@zagora:  Don’t beat yourself up too much about the wedding. Although every bride wants to have a flawless wedding, the reality is that only a few brides do because as long as you are working with people, things are bound to go wrong. You just got to enjoy the moment because at the end of the day you are marrying your best friend and as long as you have each other that’s all that matters. The marriage is more important the wedding. Don’t stress too much over it because there’s nothing you can do to change it now. I hope you feel better and focus on the things that went right instead of wrong.

Post # 7
Member
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Aww you poor thing!! Do you think maybe you were just expecting a lot and are kind of disappointed that it didn’t live up to your expectations? I am a perfectionist and nothing really ever lives up to what I expect it to be. When you are ready, let us know what happened. I am sure that it wasn’t so bad and I am sure everyone had an amazing time!

Cheer up buttercup!

Post # 8
Member
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Although I cannot relate I can sympathize.. but im sure its not as bad as you think and its ok to feel sad right now..

 

Remeber though…. you got married for your husband to spend your life with him.. not for one day called your wedding day. If you think of it like that.. it will make you smile knowing you are now life long commited to the love of your life.

Post # 9
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I just wanted to say that you aren’t alone. I look back at our wedding and see me being tied into stressful knots by my mother. My Darling Husband had the time of his life. It’s really hard when one person has a fantastic time and the other person doesn’t. It gets better as time goes on. The thing that I try to focus on were the times I felt truly happy during our wedding. The ceremony (b/c my mother couldn’t touch me then), our first dance…totally magical. And finally, when my parents went home at the end of the night, I could finally relax. And the true happiness of marrying the one person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with of course trumps everything.

Just try not to dwell on everything that went wrong that day. I know that it’s really hard, but as you get further removed fromt he wedding day, those bad memories will begin to fade, and you’ll hopefully have some good ones to focus on. 

Post # 10
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think you should spell out what happened – I’m sure it’s not nearly as bad as you thought.  Most people don’t notice a messed-up timeline.  There are so many different kinds of weddings that people don’t really expect certain things anymore.  They go with the flow.  

Some brides just don’t enjoy the reception because they are so stressed and caught up in the details.  As time passes and you think back it will be better.

And it’s okay if you feel that way right now! Don’t feel bad or guilty.  Everything will work itself out.

Post # 13
Member
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@zagora:  Wait….your band NEVER SHOWED UP?? What. The. Eff.

I am so SO sorry – why did they flake?!?

Post # 15
Member
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@zagora:  Again, I am so sorry. That is such a shitty thing for a vendor to do. I don’t even know what to say. I would be furious too ๐Ÿ™

At least you are married to your love! You can spend the rest of your lives making more happy times together! Hopefully once the anger and disappointment fades you will look back and remember the times of your wedding that you enjoyed.

Hang in there!! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 16
Member
5199 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

Why is your husband hurt and mad at you for feeling disappointed in the reception? I am sort of at a loss as to why he is MAD at you for having these feelings.

Your feelings are perfectly valid, even if HIS experience was different (and his feelings are also perfectly valid as long as he owns them and does not expect you to feel the same!). Unless you are constantly moping in it and holding it against him or making him responsible for how you feel, I guess I do not understand why he is not just letting you own your feelings about it?

I am sorry things did not turn out as you hoped. Sometimes if you have certain expectations, it can be disappointing when they are not met. While I did not share these kinds of feelings after my wedding (but nor did I have a big reception or anything!) I certainly do not think it is entirely uncommon either.  My wedding did have hiccups, but for me I just rolled with it. But, that is also just my own nature.

I will also say though, that I can almost guarantee your guests are probably not as disappointed in how things went as YOU are. Sure some may have some grumblings about certain things, but that is the way things go, and I would say that 9/10 of them are not as disappointed in how things went as you sort of are assuming they are! And, I pretty much guarantee none of them are holding it against YOU!

When you feel up to it, perhaps it would help to vent a little bit about what happened here?

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