We had a talk

posted 1 year ago in Waiting
Post # 92
Member
420 posts
Helper bee

how do you actually feel about that…?

Post # 93
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee

vanessa9090 :  Personally, I DON’T WANT to know when my SO has the ring because I would go crazy wondering why he hasn’t proposed yet. I can see how it would feel exciting to know at first…but if they sat on it for months and months, I can see why someone would begin to get their feelings hurt over it.

Post # 95
Member
373 posts
Helper bee

laurenalaine83 :  Congratulations! Just read through the thread and I completely understand where you are coming from and the frustration. I would have acted the same way, it’s like dangling a treat in front of a dog and not letting him have it. It’s unknowingly cruel. Though I do understand that he had a plan, and in his head you should feel okay because clearly he has the same plans and goals as you, but for you, it’s the being made to wait again, be on his time line.

Thankfully,with my Darling Husband, the wait was long, excruciatingly so to even have the marriage talk. Then within 3 months of that we looked for a ring, and he had it in his possession for only 1 day when he officially popped the question. Probably the only quick thing in our relationship tongue-out

Post # 96
Member
421 posts
Helper bee

So have all the issues with the time and money he spends on his family been resolved? 

Post # 98
Member
1891 posts
Buzzing bee

laurenalaine83 :  Sounds like what you two need is a plan. I think couples therapy would be a great place to get that from. Have your therapy goals to be to set up a long term plan about what to do with his parents as they get older and their health becomes a concern. Therapy should also help him to be able to set up boundaries with you for them so that you dont feel that they come before your family with him. Also check out DWIL nation for tips and ideas about how to set up boundaries. They have good advice on there. 

Post # 99
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee

laurenalaine83 :  My SO also gets seriously pissed off if I say “IF” but what the hell dude…it pisses me off when gets pissed off over it…even though it does make me feel excited ….I am full of contradictions ><

Post # 100
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee

gagal2016 :  I guess you are right but definitely not something that will happen in my case for sure…

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