Post # 1
It. Was. Awful.
Besides the overall judgmental attitude our pastor had the entire time during the session about any and everything he could think of (stupid things like how we come to church together in the same vehicle?? wait, what?!), he made rude and judgmental comments towards my family. He asked how I came to be a Christian and a little bit of my background. When I said that my dad is Catholic and my mom is Baptist, he said that it sounded like my mom was a Christin and my dad was just religious (implying he isn’t truly a Christian). I was furious and completely shut down and just stopped listening to him the remainder of the session. Looking back I wish I’d have just walked out. For the record, anyone who knows my dad knwos that’s not true. AT ALL.
I was just so hurt by the ignorance. Are there Catholics that are more religious that anything else? Yes. But there are also many protestants out there that are the same way! It just made me so mad that someone who is supposed to be a Christian leader is so incredibly ignorant.
Ugh I really just needed to vent about it. Anyone else have pre-marital counseling horror stories? Tell me I’m not alone! (not that I want anyone else to have gone through it lol)
Post # 3
Sorry you went through that! It can be especially upsetting when a man of god/church says something hurtful or ignorant because we tend to hold them to higher standards. But, he is just a man! People say/do stupid things all the time. I have no doubt that you and your Fiance will find another officiant who suits your needs perfectly.
Just this weekend, my mother’s friend was telling me that when she went to meet with her priest with her husband (in the early 80’s), the priest recommended pyschological therapy for him because he is Jewish! They didn’t get married there and look back on it and laugh now. Actually, he was laughing about it then too!
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2010 - Family Ranch outside Glenrock, WY
You really don’t deserve that! I”m so sorry girl!
Post # 5
i’m sorry, this person is supposed inspire you, and make sure that you have all the resources you may need to build on and continue to build a strong fondation and relationship.. not belittle your family! ugh,
Post # 6
@Edina: Wow, psychological therapy for being jewish huh?? lol, that’s insane
@hotdog: Thansk hotdog! It’s so frustrating!
@brittanymichelle: I know, that’s what frustrates me the most. It’s like if you aren’t perfectly one way (his way), then you’re doing it wrong. It’s sad because I know there are other couples he’s counseling (read: brainwashing).
Post # 7
OK, anyone that said or implied that Catholics aren’t Christians would totally get my goat! And frankly the guy just sounds pig-ignorant … of what possible spiritual benefit was it to you for him to insult your father like that? I’m just so sorry you had this experience. I don’t have anything personal to share because our officiant was the priest at the parish I’d been attending most of my life, and he was just awesome. But I sadly also know too many people who have left a parish or even the church altogether because of stupidities like you experienced. As Edina pointed out, men of God are just men, and not always the greatest men.
I will pray for you that you will find an officiant who will give you good, loving advice and real help in preparing for your marriage.