We had our timeline talk – Winter 2020 Wedding

posted 1 year ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
84 posts
Worker bee

No advice at all unfortunately (seeing as I am currently losing my mind waiting) but I just wanted to say congrats! It’s so exciting!!! I would just plan anyway, since you have a rough date set you’re basically as good as engaged already! Obviously I would leave visiting venues and dress trying on so it’s more special when the actual proposal comes but internet browsing and day dreaming is always okay ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Something I am currently learning is try your best not to hassle him for hints or encourage a faster proposal (no matter how subtle you think you’re being) I’m finding it takes a little bit of the fun away and puts unfair pressure on. You know he wants to marry you and you want to marry him so just enjoy this thought and be patient ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 3
Member
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2020

You can pre-plan some. I saved ideas for things like hair and flowers while I waited. I got some ideas for venues, but those proved to be unrealistic once I got engaged. 

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Katrina117 :  

Post # 6
Member
1728 posts
Bumble bee

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Katrina117 :  
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renobee :  I have to totally disagree that having a timeline is the same as being engaged already. That is a super dangerous road to go down emotionally. I have seen more than a few bee’s on here waiting and assuming they are getting engaged for the relationship to end instead. Ive seen guys even buy the ring and then sit on it and then break up. 

My friend also thought she was getting engaged and then he up and dumped her suddenly. They had gone ring shopping and everything. She had gone overboard in planning and picking dresses etc. It made it so much worse for her to get over. It can be a good distraction while you wait, but emotionally it can do a lot of dammage. 

There is no pre-engaged, there is no almost engaged, you either are or you are not. Until it happens you aren’t engaged. And by engaged I mean you have talked to each other, said YES we want to get married and agree you are engaged, and then go tell everyone and your families and annnounce you are engaged. Ring is optional for some people. But if you aren’t announcing it yet, and are simply waiting for a proposal than you aren’t engaged. 

Start a pinterest page on private settings and just go browse and pin things to keep you occupied but I just don’t think its a good idea to assume something that hasn’t happened yet. Until the proposal happens all bets are off. 

Personally im waiting and its nervewrecking but there isn’t actually much you can do to ease that waiting feeling. Get busy, hit the gym, don’t get your hopes up for events and vacations. Instead tell yourself it isn’t going to happen so you aren’t dissaponted. Try to shift your thought from waiting/dissapointed to wait, to OMG is this it? wait is this it? excitement. 

If you really start to actually get resentful or just feel like your bottling up emotions, talk to him. Its ok if you need reassurance now and again, and its ok if you want a more specific timeline from him on when he is proposing to ease your mind. And congrats bee!! This is a very exciting time!! Soak it up, because once its over its over!! 

Post # 8
Member
1728 posts
Bumble bee

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Katrina117 :  Just to clarify I in no way was suggesting you can’t be happy, or excited, or that you should pretend the engagement wasn’t going to happen. I am sorry if you interpreted what I said in that way. 

I meant that you don’t get the cart before the horse. There is a reason being engaged is a very specific thing that takes an extra step. Until you are engaged, it simply isn’t a thing yet. That doesn’t mean you can’t be excited, or trust your boyfriend will be a man of his word and propose. Not at all what I was saying. Just that, there is plenty of time to celebrate an engagement and plan for a wedding once the engagement actually happens. 

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