(Closed) We had the talk

posted 5 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

My best advice is to distract yourself. Throw all of your energy into planning for your big upcoming stuff and maximizing your time right now.

For me, an idle mind is the devil’s playground (the “devil” being my loudly ticking clock!). The busier I am, the easier it is for me to be patient.

Post # 4
3378 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@btothez:  I think the “if you wait till everything is perfect, it’ll never happen” argument works if it’s just being put off indefinitely until everything falls into place.  But if you have a specific timeline (and like you described, short-term life complications that would make a pregnancy more difficult), I think it’s totally reasonable to try to be patient and just wait.

I’m in the same situation right now.  DH and I are waiting until this winter/spring when some of those specific job/school things will improve.  Honestly, it’s hard to distract yourself completely.  If it doesn’t work just to throw yourself into work/school, why not think about specific personal goals you’d like to accomplish before you get pregnant?  Would you like to get into healthier eating habits?  Work out more?  Learn a specific skill?  Save a certain amount of money?  If you have projects or goals that are actually tied to your hope for a baby, that might help some too.

Good luck! Also, if you’re having a hard time, come join the Waiting to TTC thread – it helps to have ladies in the same boat to talk to 🙂

Post # 5
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@btothez:  I’m right there with you! I’m getting married next month and we’ve already talked about it. We’re still so unsure of our timeline though. FH wants to go with the “if it happens it happens” which I call TTC. I start grad school next fall though (hopefully!)… so I feel like it wouldn’t be smart to have a baby until I’m finished… but then, that will be years. And if I wait until I finish, then how smart is it to get pregnant right when I start my career? FH is ready now, and I want one now… but I’m so confused. It’s like I do want a baby, but then I don’t think I’m ready. wwwaaah. 🙁

Post # 7
1423 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

@lovekiss:  This exactly. 

I really wanted to have my first when I was 32.  That’t the age my grandma was when she had my mom and the age my mom was when she had me.  But my current health insurance has no maternity coverage.  I also need to reach some more career goals before we can have kids.  So, we’ll probably have to wait a few more years yet, on top of the four I’ve already been waiting. 

Just don’t think about it.  And stay off the baby/ttc boards!

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