(Closed) We have a photographer and venue BUT we would rather elope!

posted 6 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I was in the same position as you a month ago, and we decided to elope!  Fiance and I always talked about eloping since neither one of us likes being the center of attention and the thought of saying our intimate vows in front of dozens of people gave me anxiety SO bad.  But, I did want to share the experience with my parents so I spent about a week planning out a small park wedding with our family and friends before I broke down and cried from the stress.  Now we’re going to get married in St. Augustine, where we were planning to go for our honeymoon.  We are SO much more relaxed about it and I was even able to have fun with it and still get my dream dress and everything!  Plus the cost of having a “weddingmoon” is less than half of what it would cost us to have something here with our friends and family.

It sounds like you and Fiance really want to get married by yourselves, and I would say go for it.  Your family might be confused at first but they will understand, I promise.  What matters is your alls happiness and having a wedding with family/friends isn’t worth it if you’re not excited about it or if you’re dealing with unhealthy stress.  Based on your post, you’ve already made your decision… I would just go for it 🙂

Post # 4
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I can understand the always wanting to elope, and honestly, I say go for it!!!!

My soon to be Fiance and I are already planning on eloping, he originally wanted a big wedding, where as I have always wanted the elopement, but after watching my sister plan her wedding (coming up in march) it made me realize more then ever how much I want that special moment to be just ours.

Seems to me you feel the same way, I say follow your heart and do things your way! Elope now, and who knows maybe later on down the road if you feel like you missed out on having a wedding, then renew your vows for an anniversary and have a wedding for that! 😀

Post # 5
6123 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Pinkpiggynat:  Hi there!   We sent out Save-The-Date Cards and we ended up cancelling the entire thing a mere 4 MONTHS before the big day!  We told everyone and even offered to reimburse anyone’s plane tickets if they bought them already (thankfully no one bought any tickets even at 4 months out).  Even though wedding planning was stressful and I did not want to spend a lot, my father’s terminal illness is what got us to cancel it all in the end.

The beauty about eloping is that you can really go to your dream destination and not worry about the logistics of getting everyone there.  Wear the big dress, have a special dinner, make it your honeymoon if you want!  Hire a good photographer or videorecord it for people to see later.

With all the money we saved with our weddingmoon, we have been able to fly and visit several of our wedding guests already.

So far we’ve already flown to (and we were married about 5 months ago) – California, Colorado, Oregon.  Left on ths list is Vermot, Massachusettes, Washington and Arizona!  Of course it might take another year to finish the rest, but it’s so nice to stay with these would be wedding guests for a short weekend and really get time to hang out with them – something you could not really do with a wedding. 

Post # 6
1193 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I say go ahead and elope. If you know no one has made plans (or even if a few have) it’s doesn’t harm anyone. They might be relieved as well (due to financial reasons). I say go for it! No reason not to do what you truly want. June 9th Ida 5 months away…that’s plenMummified time. 

Post # 7
2 posts
  • Wedding: April 2013

I totally understand how you feel.  I recently made this big decisions myself.  Our date was set for June 29. I had the venue, the flowers picked out, the linens, tables, caterer, etc. With the planning and stress I started to hate the entire process. One evening I got a call about making a play list for the DJ…I about cried thinking…Really? How did this happen? How did this whole thing get out of control? Following that evening my Fiance and I decided to throw in the towel and now are planning an elopement in Paris this coming April.  I can’t tell you how much weight has been lifted off my shoulders.  Now instead of stressing out, I’m relaxed and can’t wait for the big day. And of course I’m wearing a beautiful traditional white dress!  Don’t feel like you can’t wear that dream dress…no need to wear a short white dress if you don’t want to.  Go with the veil, buy the sexy shoes, have your make-up done and hair styled. Its still your big day, just very very intimate. 

It does seem like a selfish act to elope, but at the end of the day if you feel planning a large wedding is taking away from the true meaning of your unionship, I say do what you want to do.  I love attending big weddings, but planning/having one is not for everyone and you don’t need to justify your decision to not do it, especially if you are funding it yourself.  My Fiance and I were funding the entire wedding on our own and the bills were adding up. I didn’t like the planning process, so spending my own money was an extra sting. As for the family, they’ll understand.  Some may be bummed, but at the end of the day its all about you and your Fiance. Everyone will be happy to see you both happy and together, because that is really what its all about.  So I’ll leave you with this quote that my wise best friend told me as I went through the decision process to call off the traditional wedding.

“You do you. Do what makes you happy. Focus and don’t bother what others will think or say.  You do you.  Do what makes you happy.”



Post # 8
6221 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

Just do it- If eloping is what you’d rather do, you’ll regret paying for the big wedding that you didn’t really want. Make sure that you give your aunt back whatever money she loses for booking on time, though.

Post # 9
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

A wedding day is really about you and your fiance, so if you want to elope… go ahead!

Post # 10
15 posts
  • Wedding: May 2015

I say elope. It’s what you both want and in the end you’ll regret not doing it. You have time to back out of the venue and photographer without penalty. It’s okay to do. 

I wanted to elope and the Fiance wants a wedding, imagine that! We’re not gettin married until 2015- frankly because I can’t tolerate the stress of planning such an event.



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