(Closed) we have a ring, a date, but we’re not engaged… can i start planning?

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I definetely dont think its to early! Heck if all that other stuff is set I say go for it!! 😉 Congrats!

Post # 4
25 posts
  • Wedding: October 2018

Consult him first on what he would suggest but i would suggest jumping on the ball and reserving the venue of your choice

Post # 5
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i dont think it too early to start investigating – more reseach and knowledge means wiser decisions i would think

i wouldnt walk around with my wedding planner and nagging him but i would be researching if i was you… afteall, thats part of the fun isnt it!

and congrats

Post # 6
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Yeah, we have the ring, but we need to find a center stone for it, and he needs to do all the official asking… but what did I do on my lunch break today?

Searched for venues. We’ve set a tentative date of 10-10-10 and guess what? I needed to start planning months ago to make it happen then. Possibly years. I guess we’ll see how it goes 🙂

At any rate, I say go for it! It sounds like he’d be ok with you doing it if you’ve set a date. It can’t hurt to just do “research”, and if you end up using that “research” later, well, hello fabulous!

Earlier he asked what I was doing via IM on my lunch break. I told him he didn’t want to know. He said tell me anyway, so I did, and he’s all, “Oh, yeah, I don’t have a problem with that. Knowing you, I’d be more worried if you weren’t excited.” Maybe your man feels the same way?


Post # 7
145 posts
Blushing bee

I’m in the exact same boat as you (the week after yours is the date we picked actually) and I’ve been on here for months, mostly just looking for inspiration though. It sounds like he’s pretty close to proposing though so I think you’d be safe finding inspiration for now, then you can immediately start booking things after you’re engaged.

Post # 8
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

You should as least start looking at venues.  That is a very popular date.  I’m in your position right now and at first I refused to seriously look at venues are anything, but we have a popular date as well (12/31/11) and it looks like a lot of venues recommend booking a NYE event 18-24 months in advance.  So, we’re seriously looking for venues.  Happy planning… and booking!

Post # 9
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would say if you two have discussed a date and all of that i would say it is safe to plan … we are pretty much in the same boat… only i refuse to tell my parents and friends and such until he makes it official

Post # 10
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Start research, but no actual planning. It made me more anxious about waiting, actually.

My only piece of advice: think long and hard about the novelty date. It is cute, but you will all the time face not getting your first choice, or the full range of choices, because you picked that day. That may not seem like a big deal now, but trust me, sometimes you see something (especially venue) and you will just have to have it. I changed my date for the venue, only by a week, and I am really happy I did. Certain things, such as a caterer, photographer, and location, will have a very meaningful impact on the memories and overall quality of the wedding. Unless the date holds real significance to you, it isn’t something that makes the wedding prettier, the reception more fun, or the memories any sweeter.

If it does work out, awesome! But research NOW, so you don’t get bit.

Post # 11
1280 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

definitely have a conversation and try to get to confirm that he’s totally on board with that date and that you suspect it will book up pretty quickly, so both of you should be comfortable at least considering booking a place in the near future should you find something you like that’s available. i say do as much research as you can!

Post # 12
1392 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - Heron Hill Winery

we almost picked that date too!! I am glad we ended up not waiting for it thoug…I would say it can’t hurt to get in touch with venues to find out when they start booking for that date…some places have limits where they only book 1 year out..others are more flexible.  I would thinking that by now it’s pretty certain you will be marrying this guy and that it is safe to do research to figure your options.

Post # 13
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Ok sweetie you definitely have more than a year! You ahve a good year and 7 months! That’s really no rush! A year, then if you’re looking at venues that are popular then yea but you’re good! I started planning mine at 2 years out but because I wanted to not because I was afraid of a venue booking up. I wouldn’t start planning until I was engaged, that’s a little much. Do research, have all your ideas and things worked out but don’t start yet. Let him propose and make it official and then start.

Hang in there!!

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