(Closed) We have been fighting ever since we started wedding planning

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

hmmmm. I know the feeling.. Just fight FAIRLY !!! There has to be some middle ground and of course a bigger person. You all need to sit down and WRITE what you would like this day to be like. See if you can come to “Some” happiness. Afterall it is supposed to be fun.,, Good luck mama

Post # 4
Member
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Sorry you’re fighting 🙁  Can you guys sit down and agree upon a budget that you can afford and then decide what’s important.  I understand that you and your parents I’m assuming are paying for the wedding?  Find out what they’re willing to contribute and go from there.  Even though he and his parents aren’t contributing financially, at least listen to their opinions to keep the peace.  Doesn’t mean you have to use them!

Post # 5
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Maybe for some it is happy.  But for me it def wasn’t.  I cannot wait until tomorrow night is over and done (our reception).  We have fought so much during this process it made me wonder why we were getting married at all.  I did most of the planning and putting things in place.  If he wasn’t interested I would be so pissed. 

Weddings – someone should warn you.  I am stressing right now that I don’t have the right comand clips to hang my christmas lights and that all my unfinished DIY projects will not be done, that the guys will be on time, that hubby will help with last minute stuff,im tired and cranky.  Not what you’d want for your big day.  I will be so glad when it is all over.  Sunday can’t come soon enough.   Plus we’re completely broke this month.  UGH

 

Post # 6
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

I think this strategy may help a lot.

Agree not to breathe one word of Future Mother-In-Law or the wedding until Sunday and then on Sunday set aside 2 hours to discuss everything.

Each of you bring in a list of what you want out of the wedding and what the roles should be for each person including yourselves, moms etc.

Then compare the lists and see what can be compromised.

For your part I would make a list of the expected costs of everything so he can see the total cost at a minimum you will be spending. 

Its often easier to see things in black and white than to talk in generalities. 

Edit: we had to do this ourselves and it helped a TON! it allowed us to talk calmly about emotional issues.

Post # 9
Member
3297 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

You guys just got engaged. Maybe stop the planning for a little bit, let the new status of your relationship sink in and just enjoy being engaged. I found a surefire way to piss my Fiance off was to immediately start planning. He felt like I wasn’t happy enough with just being engaged, which started the worst fight of our relationship. Yeah, engagement isn’t all roses and candy, that’s for sure… Someone should tell us this before the fact.

Post # 11
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Just take time to enjoy your engagement! Are you getting married very soon?

This happens all too often, where people fudge up their relationships all over wedding planning. Its just not worth arguing over. Keep communication lines open and go with the flow.

Post # 13
Member
3297 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

Ah okay, well in that case, pick a venue and then let the dust settle 🙂

Post # 15
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

That is TOTALLY normal. My Darling Husband and I never really fought about anything unless it was a big, BIG issue.

But during wedding planning, we were at each other’s throats constantly. And we weren’t even fighting about wedding related stuff. We were fighting over our relationship, each others’ families, sex life, future life, etc. All these things were FINE before (and are still fine), yet we managed to fight like hungry wild animals. Cry

Wedding planning can do that to ya…..! There are a lot of blood, sweat n’ tears before the ‘big’ day.

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