(Closed) "We have reserved __ seat(s) in your honor." on rsvp cards?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: "We have reserved __ seat(s) in your honor." is: (can choose many)

    rude (described below)

    a good idea

    confusing- guests might substitute others for original invitees

    unnecessary- invitees are already listed on envelopes

    unnecessary if website limits rsvps to invited guests only

    other (described below)

    "__ of # will attend." is rude (described below)

    "__ of # will attend." is a good idea

    "__ of # will attend." is confusing- guests might sub in others uninvited

  • Post # 3
    2285 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: Central Park

    I did this and it helped. It lets people know exactly who is invited. Not everyone knows that the names on the envelopes are the only ones invited. We still had one person ask to bring a stranger, we just told them no there is no room.

    Post # 4
    3194 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    We’re using that! We aren’t having inner envelopes to list out every person’s name that is invited, so for us it was critical so we could be clear if +1’s, children, etc were invited or not. 

    Post # 5
    722 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I don’t think it’s rude! I think it’s a good idea & a good way to imply that the attendee does/doesn’t get a guest as well as whether or not children are invited. I didn’t do this on ours and I wish I did! So many people didn’t know they get a + 1 until I tracked them down and told me.

    Post # 6
    4998 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I didn’t do that, I don’t want to go through and write it in for every person and they should be able to figure it out by the names on the envelope! 

    Post # 7
    6256 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I’ve seen this on invites before. I like it, because I never know if “number of guests” is supposed to include me, or just people I am bringing (and brides who have invited me have said both ways the various times I’ve asked.)

    It also keeps people from tacking on a bunch of people who were not originally addressed on the invite.

    Post # 8
    495 posts
    Helper bee

    I think “in your honor” is very stuffy language. I would put it more like “___ of _(x)_ will attend” where you fill in the latter number and they put a number in the blank.

    With modern technology, if I were printing the RSVP cards on my own (we did online RSVPs, so it was basically like this), I would just put each name on the card and check-boxes for “will attend” or “will not attend.” That way you know who to make place cards for, if you’re doing that, and who to skip. A line that says “Guest: _______” is easy enough, too.

    Post # 9
    2297 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    i don’t think it’s rude at all – and if it saves you 4 phone calls with dummies who want to rbing their kids/friend/dog then it’s totally worth it!

    Post # 10
    3823 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    This is exactly what I did. I haven’t sent my invitations out yet, but this is how they are worded.

    Post # 11
    121 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Definitely not rude!  I think it’s a great idea … it helps to avoid any awkward conversations with guests who have RSVP-d for too many.

    Post # 12
    3570 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I think it’s unnecessary. I’ve never heard of people adding guests not listed on the envelope until the bee. 

    Post # 13
    1636 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @Shkragoldfish:  I did it!


    We wrote: “We have reserved _ seats in your honor”

    and on the bottom line I WROTE IN who was invited. There was no confusion and no one altered their cards.

    Then I put

    __ Accept with Joy

    __ Decline with REgret

    Names mentioned above attending: and they wrote in who was attending.’

    Post # 14
    262 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    We did this. Very few people I know are familiar with wedding etiquette and it is not inuitively obvious that only the names written on the invite are who is invited. If Jane and Jon Doe were written, would you really want the guest to assume that it was meant for the Jane and Jon Doe family? It also made it really clear whether they could bring a guest or not without awkward situations like them calling to ask.

    Post # 15
    279 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Perhaps it’s not proper etiquette, but it was absolutely necessary in my case. We only have 50 seats at our ceremony and could not let anyone bring extra people that we did not specifically invite. I actually wrote all invitees on the envelope and wrote them in on the RSVP card, too. With my family, you can’t be too careful. We ended up having no issues at all, so it worked.

    Post # 16
    7603 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    View original reply
    @MrsTVLover:  I did do this and had inner envelopes and still have had two come back with children added. Unfortunately it seems as though guests need as much direction as possible now about who is invited.


    I did this. If I could do it over I would probably take the time to add the names and then a check boxes for “attending” or “not attending.”


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