We just got engaged but i have a cat and my now fiance has a dog!!!!!

posted 1 week ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

If you know there is no way they will get along and be able to live in the same house what do you think your options are?  

The dog could go to classes etc but if it doesn’t get on with other animals are you going to feel comfortable leaving the cat at home while you go to work? 

Why did you get a cat 4 years into a committed relationship without considering you would move in with your SO and he has a dog that is antisocial? 

Do you live with your parents currently? 

 

Post # 3
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

My cat lives with my parents. We have two dogs. My dog and cat got along but his dog would chase my cat and bark at him and be super annoying so he lives with my parents and their three dogs. Have you safely tried to see if they get along? Soft muzzle on the dog and introduce them? Maybe some cat nail protectors so the dog doesn’t get hurt if it gets swatted? Infections from cat scratches can be pretty bad! 

Agree with previous PP, you got a pet knowing your significant others dog didn’t get along with pets. What was your plan? 

Post # 4
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2020 - Summer Camp!

Well the dog was in the picture first, so he’s definitely not going. Would your parents be okay with you leaving the cat with them? 

Post # 5
Member
274 posts
Helper bee

So I am 100% in the camp of adopting animals is a forever thing.  But I feel like you didn’t consider his dog when adopting a stray cat.  I do think if your parents are willing to adopt your cat and you want to move in with your SO, you should leave your cat with them. The dog has been around for 4 years.  4 years of you knowing the dog’s limits.  And you actively chose this cat and are now trying to place blame on the dog (ie “not because of my cat but because of his dog”) instead of yourself.  Your only other choice is to separate the dog and cat permanently in a house in which they both live.  That doesn’t seem fair to the animals, however.  I think you need to rehome the cat in a place you KNOW is a forever home.

And next time you adopt an animal, you make SURE that you are serving all animals’ best interests both in the present and in the foreseeable future.  And I’m sorry, but this was absolutely foreseeable.

Post # 6
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2020 - Clarksville, VA

Were you aware that you and your now fiancé would get married when you got the cat? That seems like something you both should have considered. 

Post # 7
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2020

I guess it is too late now, but I probably would not have adopted a cat 1 year ago when I was in a long term relationship with someone who had a dog for 4 years that doesn’t seem to get along with other animals.  I think you might need to think of some options.  Either more training for the dog or seeing if a family member can take the cat.

Post # 8
Member
7787 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Did this not come up when you were debating adopting this cat?

Post # 9
Member
2544 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

Why didn’t you consider this when adopting the cat??

Post # 10
Member
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

Don’t try and blame it on the dog. This is your fault. Cat’s live a long life. I hope your parent’s are able to take the cat. 

Post # 11
Member
6349 posts
Bee Keeper

Your Fiance had a dog long before you had the cat.  I don’t think it’s fair to him to have to rehome his dog when you knew the dog didn’t get along with cats.

Post # 12
Member
1196 posts
Bumble bee

Have they actually met? Could slowly introducing in a safe environment help?

One option is that you don’t move in together.

Post # 13
Hostess
9548 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

Sorry but you’re the one in the wrong here, and it was totally irresponsible of you to adopt this cat knowing that 1) the dog has been around for longer and 2) you might eventually cohabitate with the dog. This is not the dog’s fault, this is your fault for not having the foresight to consider what would happen if your relationship with your SO evolves. 

I think your SO is totally in the right for asking you to leave the cat with your parents.

Post # 14
Member
380 posts
Helper bee

Geez, people are being so harsh.

How awful of you to adopt a stray cat without considering your boyfriend’s  dog. 🙄

Why not get the dog into training and see what can be done? Has the dogs aggression ever been addressed? Has it met a cat indoors? 

As for trusting a dog alone with a cat—I would never trust any dog with any cat alone. No exceptions.  I separate  my cats and dog when I leave my place. Everyone should. 

Post # 15
Member
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I mean you are being sarcastic but it *is* rude and inconsiderate to adopt a cat 4 years into a relationship when your SO already has a dog, never mind one with social issues. They were obviously already pretty committed and not far off engagement and yet it seems like the OP treated this like it only affected her. APancakePrincess :  

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