(Closed) hmmm

posted 12 years ago in Family
Post # 32
Member
1028 posts
Bumble bee

I think you are blowing this WAY out of proportion.  Life doesn’t stop before or after your wedding.  And as previously stated – NO ONE cares about you wedding as much as YOU do.  I think it’s rude and disrespectful to impose a timeline on your loved ones for when they are and aren’t allowed to do things.

Try to muster up some happiness for them.

Post # 33
Member
1123 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@Taylor – why six months before or after your wedding?  Personally that seems rather arbitrary.  I think it’s hard for everyone to understand if we don’t know the whole story.  

Post # 34
Member
2181 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

I guess I’m having a hard time understanding why you feel it’s your place to dictate when they should be able to get engaged?

I understand that there may be more to the story, but you can’t expect us to only hear this part of it and sympathize with you.

Post # 35
Member
8941 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think it’s okay as long as they don’t get engaged before you and then plan their wedding right around yours.  I don’t really understand the whole ‘stealing my thunder’ thing when it comes to a wedding.  You don’t own the year of your wedding.

Post # 36
Member
3340 posts
Sugar bee

I can understand her not wanting to attend your wedding without a ring.  There’s just something about weddings that make girls a little crazy.  My DH’s Best Man’s Girlfriend didn’t attend our wedding, and while she cited money as the cause, we’re sure it was actually because he’s not ready to get engaged and she would have felt awkward as the only non-engaged or married girl in attendance.

I think they were very considerate to not do it at the wedding, and that is pretty much the only time I think that them getting engaged would have affected your wedding at all.  The day you get engaged is pretty special, but then it drops off until the day before the wedding.  As long as they don’t try to double-book the wedding day I think you’ll be fine.

Maybe the underlying reason you’re upset is that you don’t like your FI’s brother’s FI??

ETA: Just saw that you don’t really like either one of them.  That does explain why you’re not happier for them.

Post # 37
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee

I can’t understand any of this. If you are an adult (which I assume you are) how about being HAPPY for your soon to be brother-in-law. The world doesn’t revolve around you.

@Mightysapphire – I also don’t understand your statement “I can understand her not wanting to attend your wedding without a ring.  There’s just something about weddings that make girls a little crazy” – really. I am a girl. My wedding has not made me crazy. And I resent such blanket statements about women and weddings. Not all of us are attention-craving ring-obsessed brides to be. How about we as women try to rise above such stereotypes?

Post # 38
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

chreee123 maybe she’s talking about girls who go to weddings that aren’t engaged, not the bride? At least that’s what I got from her “something about weddings makes women crazy”..

Post # 39
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@Chreee, I’m not trying to speak for Sapphire, but I can totally see where she is coming from.  There are a lot of women that get jealous, crazy, call it what you want, when another person gets married (or engaged for that matter).  I don’t think it needs to be taken as a “blanket” statement, I think that she was just trying to help Taylor to see a slightly different perspective. 

@Taylor, while it might be hard, and you may not like her, you’re going to have to accept the fact that you’re going to be family, and it sounds like that might be the hardest thing for you to wrap your head around right now.  🙁

Post # 40
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee

Tatiepoo – maybe… I guess I’ve had it “up to here” with people on these boards who feel like they get this free pass to be dramatic and self-centered just because they’re engaged (or think they might get engaged at some point). What happened to living life with grace, sophistication, humility?

Post # 41
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee

Grass – I understand what she’s saying. But I don’t think that we should condone such behavior.

Post # 42
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Sorry, you don’t get a full 6 month in the spotlight surrounding your wedding…you just get 1 day.  Whether you think it was the right time for them or not, is not for you to decide. 

Post # 43
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

chreee – i get what you’re saying…but some brides just think their wedding is the most important day of everyone’s lives..its much easier to just rise about all of that nonsense..

Post # 44
Member
1953 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think she is more or less saying that maybe they got engaged just so they could be in the spot light.  That is a bad reason for ANYONE to get engaged.  Maybe the OP would feel differently if they were an awesome couple and she liked the girl.  That doesnt sound like its the case. 

I know that my wedding is not the spotlight but if getting engaged is not the right thing the it doesn’t matter when, they shouldn’t get engaged.

Post # 45
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I agree with the other ladies.  It sounds like there is some underlying issue going on besides the fact that your FI’s brother likes the spotlight.  Maybe if they interrupted your actual ceremony, Wedding Crashers style, then you might have something to be upset about.  

Post # 46
Member
623 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Dude – I got engaged 3 wks before my best friend’s wedding.  She was thrilled, and I had to keep steering her back to her own wedding every time we talked, including during her rehearsal dinner!  Fi wanted to propose during a weekend away, and since he spent the spring studying for the CFA, we couldn’t go away anywhere till the middle of June at the earliest.  Her wedding was July.

My point is – you really never know the whole background and everything that goes into someone’s decisions.  Hey – maybe she’s preggers;)

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