(Closed) we lost our home to a fire & now I feel like my dress is too much $

posted 4 years ago in Dress
Post # 2
9570 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

Buy the dress.  Just keep it pristine and sell it agian later, make back the 40% (or more than that if you picked a popular style) that you are hesitant to spend.

EDIT: Also, I wanted to say I’m so sorry to hear the hardship that’s befallen you and your family.  I hope your insurance kicks in soon.  

Post # 3
5154 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

JTbridetobee:  How much is the deposit that you have left? Are we talking a $12,000 dress or a $1500 dress?

I am a firm believer than in times of stress or pain, you need to take care of yourself. If having this dress is going to make you happy, then pay the rest off and keep it. You’ve already lost so much (your house, vehicle, your dreams of a big wedding) that I think it would be fair to treat yourself to this.

On the other hand, if it’s going to eat away at you or you have something like $6000 left to pay – maybe finding another dress is best. Also, keep in mind that you can resell your wedding dress and get a chunk of that money back.

I am so sorry to hear about the fire and your home – how terrifying and scary that must have been.

Post # 4
849 posts
Busy bee

I’m so sorry to hear what you have been through.

I think this wholly depends on the price of the dress. If it’s a $10K dress, it may not be worth coughing up thousands more, but if the dress price was reasonable enough and it wouldn’t put you on the streets to buy it, I say go for it. Sometimes, something as simple as a pretty dress can help you gain a new perspective on a situation and help you feel better when times are tough. Having pictures of you and your new husband in your dream dress may help soften the blow of your loss later in life when you’re looking back.

Post # 5
37 posts
  • Wedding: February 2019

I too am sorry to hear about your home, I couldnt imagine. In my personal opinion, I believe you should keep the dress. You may not  have the dream wedding that you always wanted but at least you’ll have the dress. Like many other bees have stated, just sell it when your done if you’re worried financially or keep it as a reminder that theres still beauty through all the choas. I wish you the best of luck bee!

Post # 6
2318 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree w/ all PP especially raliel .  It’s all about how much the dress cost.  Im so sorry that you lost everything. 


Post # 8
2123 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

It sounds to me that you really deserve this dress. It’s your wedding! After everything you’ve just been through, you need something to make you smile. Get the dress you love and enjoy it.

Post # 9
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Not sure

I am deeply sorry that you’re going through such a tough time with this… I can’t imagine going through losing a home with so much precious memories as well… Yeah, I’d agree with others, it depends on the price. If it’s thousands and thousands, best to cut the loss and move on. If its still doable, certainly, pay it off the rest of the way. Put off the eloping plans a bit until you come up with more cash for that option next. Personally this is what I’d do if we’re in the same situation. For me, I don’t make enough money to afford a wedding dress. So I’m buying fabric and having a non wedding dress made. It won’t be fancy, but it will be me. I guess my best advice, weigh your options, then decide. I’m so sorry, again, bee… 😪

Eta- I saw your next post, so I’d say, yeah go for it! That’s not a huge amount. I’d pay off the dress and then wait a bit longer to elope. If that’s what you’re still planning. Or you could use American Legion for a venue. Those are fairly cheap to rent or a fire hall. Not ideal for anything fancy, but it’s an affordable option. 

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by  serenitysky.
Post # 10
9570 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

JTbridetobee:  especially in that case, I’d at least pick it up.  Unless you think your replacement dress would be very cheap… lets assume you’d get a $500 gown.  If so, you’re “saving” $400 but you have no resale value, so after all is said and done you’ll have spent $1860.

If you spend the $905, buy it, don’t get it altered and sell it immediately, you can probably sell it for 70-80%, since its unaltered (unless you’re very thin, then that might drop a bit).. then you buy the $500 gown.  Your total price is $1065

If you spend the $905, get it altered (say, another $200), wear it and then sell it for 50-60% (of MSRP, alterations don’t count towards total price… no idea why some brides think they do), your total price is $1217

So really, wear your dream dress. Your next best option is to wear a dress you don’t love and you’d only save $150. (obviously these numbers are guesses based on guesstimates.  Re-do at will based on what you think you could sell the dress for and what your replacement would cost..)

Post # 11
1709 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016 - Garden

My goodness. its horrible to hear those news :(( but the good news is no one was hurt. Not even the children. You can still have that dream wedding that you’ve always wanted and the first good start to that is getting that dress. If you believe postponing the wedding is the right thing to do at this point then go for it. Theres nothing wrong with postponing if you feel its not the right time in this situation. I have an injury that recently occured and although i planned to wed in May I had to reconsider this on how long itll take to recover from this. So I postponed it til August.  It’ll give you time to get back on your feet if you do go that route. But if not, if you already made the invitations and the venue reservations and you dont want to start from scratch then go for JUNE. 

I do agree with the rest of the PPs. If the dress is very expensive I say hold off. But if it is decently affordable with the 40% remaining, then heck go for it! 🙂 you have been a good sport in this OP. Don’t give up hope. You have the love of your life with you every step of the way and a marriage ahead of you. Don’t put it off. You just may not get this dress opportunity again. 🙂

Many prayers and love from your fellow bees!!

Post # 12
386 posts
Helper bee

Put the money towards the dress. 

You’ve gone through a terrible situation with losing everything, especially right before a wedding. What you could do, if this would make you feel less guilty about putting the rest of the money to the dress, is once you’re married, get the dress dry-cleaned and donate to a charity that helps brides get the dress of their dreams because of illness, tragedy, military, or if they’re unable to afford them. 

Here are some links: http://www.donatemyweddingdress.org/http://www.bridesacrossamerica.com/http://bridesforacause.com/, and http://www.fairytalebrides.org/ 

You can also donate it to be made into burial dresses for infants. Here is a link for that one: http://www.nicuhelpinghands.org/lend-a-helping-hand/angel-gowns/ 

Post # 13
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014


JTbridetobee:  I am so sorry for your troubles.  I can appreciate your thoughts of wanting to put your family first as well as this being your day and wearing a dress that makes you happy.  If I were in your situation, I would speak with the manager or owner of the shop where you purchased it and see if they will be able to assist you in some way.  Explain your circumstance and see if they offer any solutions for you.  What they tell you might help you make up your mind or present a different situation that none of us are thinking of.  Good luck to you!  Hope to hear good news!

Post # 14
3961 posts
Honey bee

You need your dream dress. Something has to be right and “uncompromised ” by this tragedy. Put all financial worries aside and shine in YOUR dress.

Post # 15
4039 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

OH BEE, I’m so so sorry to hear about your house.. What a horrible situation however, thank god you are all alive and okay. That is literally all that matters.

You know that i love your dress, it’s my favorite on the Bee. But I understand you feeling overwhelmed and guilty. It’s really sweet that your Fiance thinks that you should have it. And I agree with observer.. Let one good thing come out of this traumatizing experience, which is for you to be able to have your dress…

But ultimately you need to go with your gut. This is a very difficult decision and I’m not sure what I would do in your situation but I think in the end you should be able to have the dress you’ve waited this long for already. 

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