(Closed) we lost our home to a fire & now I feel like my dress is too much $

posted 4 years ago in Dress
Post # 16
5894 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

JTbridetobee:  $905….do it!  I don’t you’ll find anything else for under $300 anyway, so we are really onling talking about a difference of $600 to wear your dream dress.  

You’ve had enough heartbreak this year.  Give yourself permission to do this thing for yourself and celebrate and be happy.  You made a big responsible choice by canceling the venue.  I agree with your Fiance – you deserve to at least have your dream dress.

Plus, you can sell the dress after the wedding if you really need the cash.  I’ll bet you can get $900 for a once worn dress that retails for over $2000.

Post # 17
14927 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m so sorry to hear about the fire and all the losses.  However, anything material that was in the home and the cost to rebuild should be covered by insurnace, right?  You don’t want to look back on your wedding pictures in the future in a dres you settled for and have it remind you of the fire and how it took your dream dress from you, do you?  It’s taken enough from you.  Do this for yourself.  Pick it up, rock it, then sell it to recoup some money.

Post # 18
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

futurebrideesq:  That is a great idea – I did not know you could do that.  I will bookmark this for me to do.  

JTbridetobee:  I am so sorry you have had to go through this experience.  I have lost everything due to circumstance in the past, but nothing makes that experience go away.  All you can do is make new, better experiences.

I have to agree with others, that if you have spent that much on the dress, and it’s not taking food out of your kids’ mouths to finsih paying for it, then go for it.  It sounds like you ahve sacrificed a lot of your wedding, and it also doens’t sound like you can get back that 60% anyway.  

I understand a bit how you feel – my dress was actaully a very unexpected gift from FI’s brother and his wife.  I’d stayed in my budget limit of under $500, and was going to pay it all myself (I have no family), but the SIL came with me dress shopping and insisted on paying as their gift to us.  

Then, a few months later I learn her job was so miserable, she up and quit without any guanrantee of a new one.  I was shocked, then cried, then texted her asking her to let me take over the payments, that I should not have accepted it anyway.  She reassured me she had it under control, and FI’s mom stepped in to help with half, and that it was almost paid for anyway.  I felt so guilty, but did not know how to take over the payments, and some firend told me that sometimes it’s okay to be nice to yourself, and accept soemthing like this.

You need to be nice to yourself, and accept that it’s okay to have your dress.  

Post # 19
8265 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Oh yes, if you can manage it , get it – so sweet of Fiance to want you to do it . Then wear it soon for your elopement , a real elopement , just you and him at some easy cheap  place where you can   put a lovely  memory against the awful one of the fire .  

Post # 20
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

So sorry to hear about your home bee. 

This is a very difficult decision, and I’m sure your Fiance wouldn’t be saying this if he knew the two of you couldn’t afford it. I agree with PP about calling the shop. They might hold it longer with your circumstances and let you pay it off when you feel you are ready.

Post # 21
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

This is nothing compared to what your going through, but it might help.

I used a very nice company to make our wedding album but I had to design it myself. I painstakenly worked hours each day for nearly 2 weeks working on it. Let me back up we saved a chunk of money for this album and the other half to use for Christmas gifts. I’m cheap, I hate to spend money, but this album was important. I was going home for the holidays and HAD to show it off. I spent hours, checking everything, the layout, the price, each picture had a purpose.  When we went to purchase I had misinterpret the price, they charged per page not per layout. It doubled in price! I lost it, we couldn’t spend all our Christmas money on this. On just us, this was our first Christmas as a couple and no gifts for anyone! I spent a week crying trying to redesigning our album. Nothing was as good as the first one, I always compared to my perfect album.  Nothing could be as good as the first. Finally in tears and frustration my husband said, “Sweetie we will only have one album to show off the rest of our lives! We have tons more Christmases to buy gifts.” We did buy the album, it is beautiful! I’m glad I did, I never regretted it after my families reaction to seeing it!

I said all this to say, your only going to marry your sweetie once (ok maybe again in 25 years when you renew your vows). Wear this dress that you love, don’t feel guilty. No dress will compare. You gave up a lot. Don’t give up everything, you deserve at least the dress you love.

Hope that helps,


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