(Closed) We messed up..BADLY!

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1189 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Oh gosh, you’re right.. this is bad.  It’s horribly rude to uninvite people.  When is your wedding?  If it’s May 7, 2014, didn’t you send out invites a little early? 

Post # 4
4987 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Is postponing and having a smaller wedding a possibility?  

Post # 5
7220 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Hindsight is 20/20 so don’t keep beating yourself up about it. Can you cancel it and just have your parents/siblings come? I would cancel it if I were in this position rather than take out a high interest loan.


Post # 6
3267 posts
Sugar bee

@Hope_To_Be_MrsLovebug:  You still have close to a year, could either or both of you get a part time job?

Also how do you have RSVP’s for a wedding a year away?  You haven’t even actually invited anyone yet.

Post # 7
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I was going to suggest getting a part time job as well. You could also look into an interest free credit card. 

Post # 8
12248 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Definitely get a part-time job, and PRAY that a bunch of people will flake out between now and a year from now!

Post # 9
7693 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’m guessing that your wedding is closer than  May 7, 2014 ?  Can you make some changes to your menu? Cut back other things-Less an hour or two for the photographer, get a smaller cake? Less flowers, or more filler flowers? DIY some items?

Post # 10
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Maybe you can work with  your catering company a little and put the food prices down..I really don’t know what else to say…

We are also having a destination wedding and expecting to have around 100 ppl…But with a “little” help of my ILs our guest list went up to 250 ppl…and I am afraid that around 200 will show up and we will be screwed…We didn’t send invitations yet..but I don’t know how to tell them to remove some people from the list…Our cost pp is around $400..and every extra will cause additional stress..

Post # 11
148 posts
Blushing bee

By inviting them you took that risk.  Now you need to just push forward.  Cut any costs you can, earn money how you can, and borrow as you can and move forward.  It would be horribly rude to disinvite or postpone.  You made the choice to invite these folks, they are excited to celebrate with you.  I know the whole ” you can not expect gifts thing” but you will receive some cash from all these folks and that can go directly to paying off any debt you have to incur.  If any of these invitees are due to in law or parental invites, sit your folks down and ask that they help Out somehow.  They can also find some additional income to cover their invitees.  Good luck.

Post # 12
11357 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

If you’re having a destination wedding, you likely will continue to have a significant number of regrets.  What percentage of your RSVPs have come in thus far?  (I’m presuming that the wedding date associated with your post is not correct, since you obviously would not have sent invitations this far in advance of a May 2014 wedding.)

Post # 13
3686 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Don’t cut people, cut costs. Change your catering options, change your venue if you need to. Cut some flowers from the floral budget, hire a cheaper DJ, etc. Having a wedding on a budget is possible.

Post # 14
669 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Let this be a lesson to other Bees — only invite the number you can afford and can fit in your venue. You never know how many will show up.

OP, agree with pp on cutting other stuff from the wedding — flowers, drop DJ for ipod, etc to help make up the difference. Also look into part time work.

Sorry you’re experiencing this…

Post # 15
6743 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m assuming the invites already went out because it’s a destination wedding and so she sent them out far in advance, possibly a bit too early. Unless she sent out Save-The-Date Cards and people have responded positively to that so far?

Can you talk to your venue and see if you can do something cheaper? Like $50/head?

Can you switch your venue to a cheaper place?

Can either of you get a 2nd job for a few months to make up the extra?

Post # 16
394 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Cut costs everywhere! Just be thankful I suppose that your venue can at least physically accommodate the extra guests. 

Can you choose a cheaper meal pp? Is there an open bar? Restrict what you serve. Cut everything that you haven’t already paid for. 

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