(Closed) We messed up..BADLY!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 77
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Well.. I can tell you from my mini-DW experience our guest count dropped by about 10% right after the RSVP deadline – yes people who RSVP’d yes, went back and changed their minds after the deadline. And then another 10% flaked out in the 3 weeks leading up to the wedding due to procrastinating lame excuses (Oh I just realized all the affordable hotels are already booked, my car is on the fritz, I’m don’t feel comfortable asking off work, etc.). A lot of people get optimistic and excited about the idea of a dest. wedding. Most people do not actually make a plan until they have to. Unless you’ve got a really cheap deal, and confirmed hotel reservations for 210, I’d safely bet you’ll lose a good chunk of the guests when money has to be put down on the table. From what I hear, friends tend to flake more, and family tends to show up with uninvited guests more…so depending on your invite ratio, this might not be as bad as it looks now financially speaking. 

Post # 78
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

60% seems like a HUGE number to me, I was told you can invite 15% extra (I want 60 people, I invite 75 to account for people who may not RSVP). You need to cut costs, if you’ve sent invites with options for the dinner you’re stuck with that one but maybe cut down on floral arrangements, instead of having an entirely open bar (if you’re having one) opt for just beer and wine. Maybe even cut your reception short an hour or so, if that doesn’t help get a part time job before taking out a loan.

Post # 79
11 posts
  • Wedding: October 2013

 I cannot believe some of the suggestions people are giving….dollar dance? Asking directly for cash? Uninviting people? And then some people saying people have no etiquette if they don’t gift a certain amount of money? How entitled are you? Gifts (no, not even a card) are required when attending weddings. To expect them is selfish and greedy. A card would be nice yes, but your guests are taking time out of their lives to witness your wedding and celebrate with you. That should be gift enough. Oi.

OP- Here are my suggestions after seeing your breakdown.

– Cancel the florist and the arch.

-See if the venue will let you downgrade your package and skip the live musicians, uplighting, extra hours, etc

-Take back some of your accessories and/or your dress and get a cheaper one

-Eat the deposits on photographer, videographer, that will give you $1075 extra

-Return bride and grooms gifts

-Return or sell your rings and get fakes for now

-Cancel the rehearsal dinner if his parents agree and use the $1500 for the extra guests

-Ask you mother if the $300 for hair and makeup can be put towards something else


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