(Closed) we met the most amazing priest…. what should i do?? questions…

posted 7 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

The priest who performed our wedding was from a different diocese than the church we had our ceremony in. We got his okay, as well as permission from the church we married in and our home church (we were moving, so I was registered in a different church than the one we married in). If the other priest is in good standing and will agree to do it, you shouldn’t have a problem. I would contact him soon and tell him that you really enjoyed meeting him and would like him to perform your ceremony. It’s a good idea to contact him while he still remembers you! Your pastoral director is probably a good start, and may know whether or not that priest has performed weddings for you before.

Post # 4
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I don’t think it would be in bad taste, but then again, I may be baised because we are not using our parish priest, either. We are actually flying a priest, and good friend, in from another state ;o) To do this, however, our church does require that our priest get a letter from his bishop  (to the parish priest) saying that he is a priest in good standing. 

I’m also not 100%, but I’m pretty sure that any ordained member of a religious community (like the Franciscans) can perform valid Catholic marriages.. but you may need to get permission similar to what we did. Because, on our form, I noticed it said “In addition, if you belong to a religious community, it will be necessary for you to obtain faculties from the Secretary for Ministerial Leadership”.. so, I think it can for sure be done.. but I would start by getting his number and talking to him about it. Then, if he is willing/able, he’ll probably have a good idea of the necessary next steps :o)

Post # 5
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think its fine. Parish priests might even like a week off from weddings. We didn’t use the parish priest, but a family friend. 

And yes, people of other orders can marry, even in diocesan churches. We were going to have a Jesuit marry us but he had to cancel.

Post # 6
822 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I also think it is fine.  We are not getting married in our local parish, we have booked a cathedrel in the city and have asked a priest from yet another parish to marry us which he has agreed to do!

I really like our parish priest but he is very old and I know when he did a wedding last year it stressed him out a bit so we are going with the priest from my parents parish – who by the way is also lovely but quite a bit younger!

I think so long as he is ordained it should be fine – but maybe double check when you ask him to marry your Fiance and you. – Good Luck! πŸ™‚

Post # 7
2522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@stephanie63087: First off, it’s awesome that you found a preist like that!  I find a lot of order priests to be great.  Just tell the parish secretary that you have a priest in mind and they’ll make arrangments, of course you’ll have to speak to Fr. Engo.

I’d look at the Diocese’s directory of priests.  They should have that online.  You’re in the Ft. Wayne/SB Diocese (I’m originally from that area) so I’ll look it up for you and PM you if I find his e-mail address or something.

Post # 9
1909 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@stephanie63087: That is so awesome! You can check with your parish priest, I know ours asks for a letter of permission to be married by another priest outside of the parish. I think it’s an easy process, yay for you πŸ™‚

Post # 11
2522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Alright, so I did some searching on your Diocese’s website and Google.  He’s part of the Franciscan Brothers Minor.  It’s relatively new thing and they’re renovating an old St. Andrew Parish (now called Our Lady of Angels Oratory) in Ft. Wayne.  Here’s their website.  It doesn’t have a list of their priests as far as I can see, but it has an email address and an actual address that you can try.  Just state that you’d like to meet up with Fr. David Engo that you met through your Engaged Encounter or stop in there sometime and introduce yourself.  They should have an office.  It’s really weird that I can’t find a phone number though.

EDIT: Here’s an article about them: http://www.todayscatholicnews.org/2010/04/franciscan-apostolate-settles-in-for-service/  So they’ve taken a vow of poverty and do only service work, which may or may not be a reason why they don’t have a phone number readily available.

Post # 13
133 posts
Blushing bee

I’m also not 100%, but I’m pretty sure that any ordained member of a religious community (like the Franciscans) can perform valid Catholic marriages.”

This is not entirely correct.  To be able to perform a valid Catholic marriage, an individual needs to be a cleric (priest, deacon, abbot, or bishop) and been granted authority by the diocesan ordinary (either a bishop or abbot) to perform marriages. Among the Franciscan friars you have abbots, priests, brothers, sisters, and laity.  Only priests can perform marriages if they have the appropriate authority.  

Since he goes by “Father David”, he is almost certainly a priest in addition to being a Franciscan.  And virtually all priests have authority to marry (the ones that don’t are usually the “former priests” who will marry in violation of canonical law).  So this shouldn’t be an issue.  But I want to clarify it just in case.

The only real complication is that many priests will shy away from conducting a marriage outside of their own church or monastery because they don’t want to be seen as intruding on the other pastor.  As a result they’ll often only perform marriages in another church if it’s a close family member and even then they usually invite the pastor of that church to co-celebrate the marriage.  So if he says no, don’t take it personally.  But it doesn’t hurt to ask!

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