(Closed) We might break up because I said…

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3691 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

You didn’t say anything wrong.  He’s being an ass and blowing up over absolutely nothing.  I don’t text unless it’s a short, simple question.  Any more than that, and a call is much easier and faster.

He owes you an apology, not the other way around.

Post # 4
Member
12954 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If he perceives what you say as hurtful, the two of you need to address the miscommunications.  I don’t think anyone is right or wrong, because if he’s hurt, some action needs to be taken, even if it was unintentional or unknowing on your part.

I do think the argument is blown out of proportion though…

Good luck in hashing it out!

Post # 5
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

…sorry but I don’t see anything wrong with what you said!  Was it maybe the tone of how you said it?  Even so… it sounds like he’s had a lot of issues that have just been building up and building up, and now they’ve exploded on you over nothing.

Hope you can figure out what to do, I don’t think you’re in the wrong here though :/

Post # 6
Member
9642 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@AmyDee:  Wow, holy over-reaction Batman.  On his part.

I think he took what you said to be sarcastic and got insulted. 

On the other hand, he was being rude, IMO, by texting someone for a long time when he’s spending time with you.

This sounds like a miscommunication on both your parts, however, I think his behavior is somewhat immature and slightly irrational unless you have a history of being sarcastic with him and this was the proverbial last straw.  Undecided

Post # 7
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m sorry – what? Does he usually do this?

He jumped to 10 conclusions based on your statement and you were trying to be helpful. I think he needs to apologize to you.

Post # 8
Member
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Personally, with his reaction, I would start to question his relationship with her…why would he get so defensive unless there was somehting to hide?

Post # 9
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - Seattle, WA

I’m sorry but this is sort of a red flag for me… Is he normally this short-tempered?  You said absolutely nothing wrong, and for him to fly off the handle like that just seems totally uncalled for.  Good luck in sorting this out!!

Post # 10
Member
8884 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@strawbabies:  I agree with this. He sounds like a hot head, he owes YOU an apology.

Post # 11
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

You’re not wrong. What he’s doing is called emotional blackmail. He’s threatening you with a breakup to drag an apology out of you. This is not how adults behave.

Post # 13
Member
2907 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You didn’t say anything wrong.

It kind of sounds like maybe he was just looking for an excuse to flip out at you, especially since he used it as an opportunity to say a bunch of unrelated hurtful things to you. Seriously, he’s threatening to break up with you over this? You should tell him not to let the door hit him in the ass on the way out.

Post # 14
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

You didn’t say anything wrong but it obviously triggered something in him.  I’d give him space to cool off and then set a time to talk about it.  Him threatening to break up with you because you won’t apologize is mindboggling.  I’m so sorry 🙁

Post # 15
Member
6745 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Sounds like there’s some underlying issue here.  I think he blew up on you for this but is either mad at you for something else or mad about something else in general and took it out on you.  I don’t think anything you said was wrong and I’m sure at some point he will realize he was really overreacting and blew it out of proportion, but in order for him to do that, he’s going to have to recognize and address the real reason why he was upset in the first place.  Talk to him about it, but tread carefully – you don’t want to tell him that he was overreacting and he needs to figure out why, because that would be insulting.  You should try to talk to him when he’s less upset and more rational about all the things that have been upsetting him lately and remind him that if he’s upset, he needs to come talk to you instead of letting it all boil up.  Good luck!

Post # 16
Member
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Oh good god, he is just dragging this OUT! Seriously, that many text messages over a harmless comment from LAST NIGHT? My god he’s acting like you shot his puppy in front of him. HE’S the one acting like a child and is throwing a hissy fit over nothing. I wouldn’t respond and would just let him cool down. When he’s ready to act like an adult, there needs to be a calm, rational discussion where he isn’t holding the threat of a breakup over you!

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