(Closed) We might have to postpone our wedding- SO UPSET.

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1351 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Dell79:  Don’t move your wedding for these two guys, they don’t sound like great friends, what if you moved it and they STILL didn’t bother coming?  My DH and I got into a huge fight with his best friend and his wife before our wedding so I understand how hurtful stuff like this can be when planning a wedding.

Post # 5
11535 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Unless your FI is adamant that he wants to postpone your wedding because of this, then I would not postpone it — especially if postponing would mean that you would have to forfeit deposits or your church and/or venue. 

Post # 6
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

NO, I would not move the wedding for these two guys. It’s one thing if it was like their twin sister was getting married the same day/time as you and I can see why they would pick her over you, but if it is just another couple, then I don’t see what the big deal is. On top of that, your Fiance and you tried to get their confirmation as to what date the other couple scheduled theirs for. In addition, regarding the surprise engagement party, if he really did want to come, he would’ve apologize for not making it, rather than a curt one-liner text back. If there’s anything we’ve learned from planning our wedding, it’s that true friends will make it work and do whatever it takes to come to our wedding.

Post # 8
1736 posts
Bumble bee

As stated above, unless your Fiance is adament that he wants to accommodate these two friends (though I use the term loosely because they aren’t being very kind to your Fiance at this point), you should not postpone your day. The wedding is supposed to revolve around the two of you and no one else!

Post # 9
3311 posts
Sugar bee

I am sorry they aren’t being good friend but don’t move the date. You don’t know the real why they can’t come but let them have their excuses.

Post # 10
9478 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

No, I wouldn’t postpone your wedding because of them.  I had two falling outs with my Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man.  I moved on from it.

Post # 12
2437 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Do not change your date. I think if it was important to the guys they would be there. It is sad to hear that they are not making your wedding a priority, but if he is not interested in participating then why make the interest in him? Good luck. Your wedding will be amazing without them. You will be surrounded by people who want to be there! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 13
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think it’s so sweet that you’d consider postponing because of your FI’s friends.  The choice is yours, and there is plenty of time to change it (even by a week or two) if you decide to, but I’m sure just the offer alone would mean a lot to your Fiance.  How does he feel about moving the date?

Post # 14
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

If you can change your date consider doing it as you might regret it if you dont.  We changed ours due to a clash with someones grauation, and someone elses pregnancy we hadnt known about.  Now these people can come.

Post # 15
16 posts
  • Wedding: October 2012

I actually registered for this site just to reply to this. What this sounds like – coming from a socially inept person – is that he is holding onto friends that may not necessarily be as close as he would like them to be. I am not a very social person, I lost my best friend a few years ago and the years before that were difficult due to some drama. I constantly find myself thinking of people that I can invite to our wedding who I actually have known longer than 3 or 4 years, and you know what… theres a lot! But the problem with them is that they aren’t really my friends anymore.

I think you need to talk to your Fiance and asks ome questions to find out just how important – or not – that they are. For instance is he envisioning them because he doesn’t have other friends that he could ask? Does he want them there because he is remembering how good of friends they were before and he doesn’t want to let go? 

I think the best thing I’ve done recently is let go. I was very upset that my fiance had a full list for groomsmen and I could only come up with one friend, who I met within the last couple years, who I thought would be good on there. I had to fill the rest out with family. Thankfully 2 of my family members – the oldest ones – have been with me for over 20 years so we are close without the need to see or talk to eachother often.

I was upset but now I realize there’s other things. I’m not the center of the party most of the time, and I certainly don’t have a real friendslist to match my facebook one and I’m fine with that. The people that I KNOW love me, will be there. And It sounds to me like these two guys might not be that for your Fiance. I think it would be much more tragic to change your dates and then have him be disappointed by their lack of interest later. It is a shame that another wedding is happening at that time. But was there another party that they ditched out on to attend? Probably not. 

I think your Fiance needs to search his heart for the real answer. Unfortunately, good friends in high school or college are not always good friends for life. I have almost no friends left, and I’m working on making some new ones. Nobody said that your best man or Maid/Matron of Honor has to be someone you’ve known forever!

I hope the best for you both, but don’t center you guys’ day around the attendance of two people who might not be as important as they seem. Be sympathetic but make sure he understand the real reason that he is upset. 

Post # 16
52 posts
Worker bee

@Dell79:  To be honest those two don’t sound like friends at all so I most definitely would not postpone my whole wedding for them. It would suck to have moved your wedding and they still don’t show.

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