We need to talk.

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
882 posts
Busy bee

megrays :  I toally agree. When my man told me he had been worried and to please not use that phrase anymore when I just want to talk about my day/something innocuous, I reassured him that nothing was wrong right away.

Post # 17
Member
479 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Yeah no, I can’t stand the “typical guy” comments because that’s a cop out for being insensitive. If someone doesn’t have the ability to recognize why “We need to talk” might worry their SO (and even more so since it’s actually “We need to talk…in a few days when I get back”), frankly they’re either dumb or just completely rude/uncaring. Especially if their SO is calling, concerned. He is handling this horrendously, and telling you he’ll call you later because he’s on the road and then NOT calling is a huge red flag. He’s being a complete jerk. 

Post # 18
Member
762 posts
Busy bee

Please do not allow your mind to jump to conclusions.  For all we know, something may have came up at work that frustrated him, and he felt the need to send out that text. Maybe he is not calling back because he is busy? 

Do not allow yourself to get worked up because of the previous posts,  that will affect the way you speak to your SO when he returns.  I wouldnt be too worried, but after the conversation, I would bring up how those four words made you anxious and worried about your relationship. 

Post # 19
Member
3740 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Ugh I hate those kind of messages. It’s like the “see me in my office” emails from a boss. Completely unnecessary to add a layer of anxiety that doesn’t need to be there. I would text him and calmly let him know you don’t appreciate the way he handled the conversation by leaving you to fear the worst. It’s not fair to you.  I hope everything works out for you!

Post # 20
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee

greenivy :  Wow, what a douche. He shouldn’t say something needs to be talked about but not even mentioning what it’s about and then leaves you hanging. I would be demanding that he at least mentions what it’s about now. 

Post # 21
Member
93 posts
Worker bee

OMG i hate it when anyone says that… he should be more considerate of your feelings

But blot it out of your mind for now i know its hard but do that otherwise you’re going to make yourself sick of worrying.

stay strong bee

 

 

Post # 22
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee

Any update Bee? I really hope it’s just a poor choice of words.

Post # 23
Member
3672 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

How brutal! I agree with PP’s that it was really awful of him to leave you hanging like that! Hopefully its nothing major. Looking forward to your update bee!

Post # 24
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee

 

greenivy :  Hi Bee. How are things currently? Hopefully everything is well. 

Thinking of you. 

Post # 25
Member
4763 posts
Honey bee

Try not to worry! 

I haate it when people do this! Usually it’s nothing. It happened at work and I was worried all day but really I was needed for a project. 

Post # 26
Member
4763 posts
Honey bee

Then after you talk tell him not to pull that crap again. 

Post # 27
Member
678 posts
Busy bee

I’ve been guilty of sending “hey, can we talk later?” or “we need to talk tonight” texts about innocuous things to panicked boyfriends over the years. As an adult I’m very conscious of sending out those signals that could make someone I care about worry unnecessarily. Even when I did it to past boyfriends, I’d always be sure to clarify and apologize. 

Since he’s doing neither, he seems like a controlling (keeping you on edge) drama queen. If the worst does happen, maybe it’s a blessing in disguise. 

Post # 29
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Pranks are supposed to be harmless fun. This was just straight up cruel. If you’re otherwise in a good place, this calls for a long conversation about why we don’t purposely send our S.O.s on an emotional roller coaster. Because I’d have been like you — a total mess — until we talked. It’s really not ok!

Post # 30
Member
479 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

This is not ok. To play a prank like that is malicious and cruel, and I’d have serious concerns about why he would think that is appropriate. This wouldn’t fly with me.

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