(Closed) WE PUT AN OFFER ON A HOUSE…and I react by sobbing uncontrollably.

posted 7 years ago in Home
Post # 3
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Buying a house is stressful, don’t be so hard on yourself.  You will find out at the inspection if there is anything to worry about and a good realtor should put in the contract that you can get out of it for almost anything you want so don’t worry.  We ended up buying $10,000 – $15,000 more than we had planned too.  We are going to have to cut back on expenses a bit but nothing horrible.  I do hate that we can’t afford the mortgage on one salary though.

Post # 4
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think it’s probably normal to freak out over a huge purchase like that.  I’ve never bought a home–DH owns the house we live in (we’re going to try to refinance it together soon, though).  But I’ve bought 2 new cars, and both of those purchases scared the heck out of me.  

Post # 5
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

House buying is stressful and it does feel like you sign your life away, doesn’t it? I’m keeping my fingers crossed that everything will work out, because this house sounds like a good deal. If there is anything wrong, you still can get out of the contract, as MissAsB said.  Also, foreclosures can be a bit tricky. If this deal doesn’t work out, you just keep looking, that’s all.  Good luck!

Post # 6
11418 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Aside from getting married, buying a house has been the most stressful thing I have ever done, and the paperwork involved in marriage PALES in comparison to the mountains of paperwork involved in purchasing a home.

You ARE traumatized simply because it IS traumatic. 🙂 It is perfectly NORMAL for you to have feelings such as “Oh. My. Gosh. What HAVE we DONE!!??”  Almost everyone feels that way when he or she purchases his or her first home.

I don’t know your specific circumstances.  However, from my understanding of home buying, based on having purchased two homes (one I had built with a builder, and one Darling Husband and I purchased together after our marriage), you must already have met with a bank and have been pre-qualified up to a certain purchase amount, and you’ve likely discussed your purchasing ability in detail with your realtor.  It’s likely that you have not submitted an offer that is higher than your ability to afford. (Although, I should note, banks often do not take into consideration what you personally really CAN afford based on your lifestyle vs. what their calculations/formulas tell you you can afford based on your income.)

I don’t know if you are a person of faith or not.  However, if you are like me, I pray when I move forward with big decisions (and some small ones, too.)  I realize you may not be someone who believes in that, and, if you don’t, I respect your right to believe whatever and however you wish.  If it were me, however, I would pray that, if my Darling Husband and I were supposed to have this house, that our offer would be accepted, and, if we were not meant to have it, that our offer would not be accepted.  That would help me, personally, find peace in the midst of this turmoil. Again, that may not be something that you would have any interest in doing, but I thought I would mention it.

I hope all goes well for you!

Post # 7
2808 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Don’t feel bad! Buying a house was equal parts exciting and terrifying for me. Fiance and I also ended up spending around 10-15k more than we had intended to, but it really doesn’t make a huge difference in the cost of your monthy payment if you are doing a 30yr fixed rate loan.

After you get an offer accepted you will feel a lot better. Taking the initial plunge into signing your life away is a scary thing, but once you acclimate yourself to the idea of owning a home you will calm down and enjoy the process a little more. I was much more scared when we made the offer than I was at the closing. It gets easier!

Post # 8
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

We just put in an offer on Monday (and a counter yesterday) on our first home so I totally understand.  I haven’t freaked out too much yet but I’m sure I will once we are under contract and then again when we close.

I think it is normal to stress a bit about such a big purchase but I would try to not freak out so much about $10K.  Honestly, that will be a relatively minor increase in the monthly payments so unless you were already stretching yourself super thin, I doubt it will be a problem.

Hope everything works out!  It sounds like you guys are getting a great deal!

Post # 9
2232 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Totally normal! Everyone reacts to this process differently. Usually with couples one person will be having a mini breakdown while the other one is totally calm.

I do this for a living and even I’m terrified to buy our next place!

Post # 10
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My whole life, I heard things like ‘buying a car is a huge decision’ and ‘a house is the biggest purchase you will ever make’ (ok, it probably is.).

So when I went to buy my car last year, I suddenly was silent and couldnt bring myself to talk or show any emotion at all…I just sort of shut down! All I could hear in my head was…once you sign you can never reverse it! and all sorts of crazy things like that.

I think there is soooo much hype towards big purchases when in reality, there is a way out and you can fix a mistake if you make one. The paper work is intimidating, all the dollar signs waving in front of your face can make you sick, and thoughs of ‘what if! what if!!!’ are flying through your brain…yes, it is ok to start to cry! I totally get it. You are not nuts!

Post # 11
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Fiance and I just bought a house in August and we live here now and at first it was a lot to handle and a lot of people were like wow you bought a house ( I am 23 and we werent engaged yet) the first few months may be stressful when you are figuring out bills… today I just found out we have a leak and our water bill jumped up from 60 to 225 dollars… lets say I was freaking out just a little bit… buying a house is a ton of responsibility… but once all of the kinks are figured out it is so nice to come home to YOUR house and be able to decorate it and keep it clean… or throw stuff around and not have to worry about someone getting mad if your clothes are not folded…



Post # 13
9668 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

crossing my fingers for you 🙂

Post # 14
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Good luck and remember that you can back out as long as you made your offer contingent on inspection. If going a little higher than you originally wanted means that you are getting a more perfect home then it’s money well spent!

For us, we definitely spent more than we ‘wanted’ to, but it would have been pointless for us to buy something smaller or in a worse neighborhood where we didn’t want to live. So we accepted the fact that we will need both salaries to pay the mortgage and had to put more $ down, but I can honestly say it was totally worth it to be where we are in such a nice place.

Post # 15
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m so thankful you posted this. Smile I am in the EXACT same boat as you. We are under contract on a foreslosure right now. I know that it’s a good thing, and that we are saving money by purchasing instead of renting, but still! The whole “30 year mortgage” thing kinda makes me freak out. We had our inspection this past Saturday…and, up until then, that made me still feel like we had an “out” if we needed it. When I found out that it passed the home inspection with only a few MINOR things that needed to be addressed (<$300 worth of repairs), that’s when I started to hyperventilate. Darling Husband reminded me this was something that we have been praying about and had decided on when we were thinking rationally, and I immediately calmed down.

With that said, it’s a GOOD thing. It will be worth it to have our own little place that we can call ours.

Good luck! It seems like you are really getting a great bargain. Congrats!!

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