(Closed) We see the problem WB, lets find a way to fix it.

posted 8 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 32
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@Eva Peron:  This is such a great post and something I wholeheartedly believe in.  I think the mod team really tries to only step in when necessary, and in order to do that, regular users need to be committed to the WB community atmosphere.  An easy place to start is by self-moderating.  We all have bad days, but if we can make sure our own posts are positive, encouraging, etc… that makes a huge difference. 

I actually think users have a lot of power they don’t realize.  The hostess and mod team is really small compared to how many users we have; if all of the users post in a way that supports WB’s community, I think we would see a much bigger change in the boards.

Post # 34
5920 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Eva Peron: I really like this post.  You write very, very well!

Post # 35
834 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Gemstone: I didn’t realize there was a difference between Hostesses and Mods. What are the differences?

Post # 36
7289 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Mrs. Spring:

Agreed ๐Ÿ™‚ As hive members, we have the power to make WB what we want it to be!

Post # 37
2583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Look, I completely agree that asshattery and hatred are nasty and unfortunate and not nice to read… but in real life, you can just delete people for being asshats –  you have to deal with them. It should be the same way on the interwebs. If you come across an ignorant post, tell the poster what you think of their ignorant post or ignore it.  Once you start having mods delete posts for hurting feelings, you run in to a whole mess of the sensitivity spectrum – there will no doubt be SOMEONE who is offended by ANY topic and will find a way to say its offensive. Once that happens, the same people who now want more moderation will be getting upset about over censoring.  Its an impossiblly fine line and I don’t think putting different words in the TOS is going to do anything about that fine line.  I like the thumbs up thumbs down idea – but can we all be honest here?  When you see a comment has received so many thumbs down that its been hidden – do you ignore it because it might be offensive, or do you click on it out of morbid curiousity?   99.999999% of people are going to click on it…   its human nature.

Post # 38
13563 posts
Honey Beekeeper

@vmblai1019: It is a little confusing, because we all have “Hostess” under our names. ๐Ÿ™‚ As MissAsB mentioned, moderators are chosen from the hostess team. So not all hostesses are moderators, but moderators do come from the hostess team.

Hostesses and moderators are all here to help keep WB a happy community, and we work together to make decisions, etc. The biggest differences are in technical capabilities.

While hostesses and mods all work together to, for example, identify posts that need attention, only the moderators have the technical capabilities to close threads, delete posts, etc. The moderators are the ones who receive notifications of the flags and work to resolve the issues surrounding flags. So they’re the ones doing the heavy lifting, if you will, once discussions have taken place and decisions have been made in the hostess community.

They also help to implement postive change, as in when bakerella spearheaded the effort to get some changes made in the vendor guidelines, with the help of hostesses and WB members. ๐Ÿ™‚

And really, they do far more than I could ever give them credit for in a list of responsibilities. They make sure this place stays running, and they help get us through the highs and lows of all things WB.

Does that help?

Post # 39
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@naptime: that was my thought too! If a thread hits a certain number in a pre-determined time span – it gets frozen until a mod acts on it. Not closed or deleted, just frozen to new replies. I’m sure the mods know better on what number of flags usually indicates a problem – say 20 flags on an ongoing 200 post thread open for 3 days is less indicative of an issue than 20 flags on an hour old thread.

Post # 40
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think it’s extra important that we all post in a civilized and respectful manner because it’s NOT in person and you can’t always tell someones tone by reading a comment. And I agree any nasty behavior definitely report to the mods – they can’t help if they don’t know about it.

But honestly, a real concern might be that a bride has an overweight or underweight bridesmaid. If we revise the TOS, I would hope that it would still allow someone to express a concern like that. Of course without bashing them for their weight other than expressing a ligitimate concern like finding a dress everyone can wear or making them feel comfortable while standing next to all normal weight bridesmaids.

Post # 41
13563 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Unfortunately, I don’t think all of this bashing comes from a hole or a gap in the commenting policies. I think certain users are just being mean, policy or no policy. ๐Ÿ™

Post # 42
7776 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@Eva Peron: I certainly agree with you about self-moderating.

My only thing is… members have to be willing to say something and have to be willing to accept when someone else does. I know that I have gone into posts before and said things like “Hey guys, this is out of hand. Let’s cool down a bit because you are violating the commenting policy.” and have gotten nasty PMs from well-known members who basically told me to shut the hell up until I had the authority to tell them to cut it out and that they didn’t appreciate being “lectured”. I’ve also seen people be nasty in threads to people who try to calm things down a bit.

I do think that the members need to be more personally accountable for making sure the atmosphere stays positive though.

Post # 43
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@zippylef: I’m sure you’re refering to me. When exactly did I tell you to shut the hell up? I don’t think we’ve had any problems on the boards that I’m aware of? We’re all adults here and don’t need to be lecturing each other. I think when the lecturing begins, the annoyance grows even more than just flagging or taking it to PM or altering an actual mod. Then when a mod steps in and says “I agree with so-and-so user” it creates a divide among users, whether or not that’s the intention. It’s not kindergarten and I think I’ve voiced my opinion on that in a respectful way.

Post # 45
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@zippylef: I believe that when self-moderation was mentioned by another user, they meant making sure to take proactive results. For example, simply monitoring what you say before you push the “submit” button, making sure to PM mods, and flagging things. I do, however, believe that proactive does not mean yelling at everyone who disagrees with you or the TOS and telling them to calm down, especially when you hold no authority to do so. It’s not appropriate, only causes more distention, and makes people angry and frustrated. If you don’t like what someone is saying, click out. It works for me most every time. 

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