(Closed) We seem to ALL go through it..What is it with MILs!?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 47
Member
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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@thenewmrsmax:  ha!  my future mother in law has a similar story – her mother in law begrudgingly gifted her a vase after she got engaged, because “I guess I can’t do anything to stop it now”.  She was brutal!  Luckily, my Future Mother-In-Law has been awesome and welcoming to me.

Post # 49
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@helpabeeoutplease:  My Mother-In-Law gave me 7 year old velveeta cheese for Christmas.
Yep, you read that correctly.

 

We all have probls with ILs!!

Post # 50
Member
980 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@helpabeeoutplease:  I have read some horrible stories about MILS’s and i am so thankful that mine is amazing she fully supports us all the way she is helping me with my invites (coz she makes her own cards and is really crafty) and every idea i have for the wedding she loves.

I have asked her if she was sad that i was kinda replacing her in his life….she told me no she is pleased he is happy and she couldn’t wish for a better daughter in law.

Post # 51
Member
401 posts
Helper bee

I’m sooooo blessed to have a Mother-In-Law who is a wonderful person. She loves me and chats my ear off and is so kind. I’m sure it really helps because she has 3 sons. If I took her only one…it might have been a different story Lol.

Post # 52
Member
2597 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@helpabeeoutplease:  I think its rather unfair to place all the blame on MIL’s.  I think just as often, DIL’s are every bit as jealous of their MIL’s relationship with their son’s and the place his mother holds in his heart and are just as territorial.  It goes both ways.

Post # 53
Member
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

My mother is the shitty Mother-In-Law…and in her case, it comes from a place of pure jealousy.  

 

And why is she jealous?  Because my SIL is happy and has a good career. and my brother gets on really well with his in laws.  

 

What makes it even sadder is that my mother had a terrible relationship with her ex Mother-In-Law…and I’ve tried to point out to my mother that she’s doing EXACTLY what was done to her.  The stuff my mother complains about regarding my SIL is just insane…and insulting to my brother, because it infers that my mother bought him up to be a henpecked wimp.  

 

She also blames my SIL for the fact that they haven’t had children…even though she knows they’ve been trying for years.  My SIL is now in her mid 40s, so it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen…but of course, it can’t possibly be down to my brother!

 

The whole situation makes me really sad.

 

Post # 54
Member
2514 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I love my Future Mother-In-Law.  She really is one of the sweetest ladies I’ve ever met.  She is thrilled about our engagement and wedding.  I wrote a big long post about how lovely she is and the things she’s done (from a distance, she lives in Europe) but it was kind of pointless. 

I hope your relationship with your Future Mother-In-Law settles down once the wedding is done.  

My mum always says she had the best Mother-In-Law, ever.  I think I got just as lucky.  I just hope I get to keep mine much, much longer than my mum did.  My Grandma passed away 4 years after they got married, and 2 months before I was born.  I hope my Mother-In-Law is around for years and years to come and gets to watch our kids grow up, even if it is over skype! 

Post # 55
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2015

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@LaEsposa:  WOW. The ring thing really is a bit creepy!

Post # 56
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I have very torn feelings about my Future Mother-In-Law. She loves me to death and she is a kind woman but she drives me up the wall. Dealing with her is like dealing with a teenage girl sometimes. She can be very dramatic, makes STUPID financial decisions, and guilt tripping her kids is her main tactical weapon. She also is very clingy to all her kids, especially Fiance because he is the most tolerant when in comes to her. I’m not going to lie, the clinginess does grate on my nerves alot. It is hard to not roll my eyes and see it as her almost being territorial over Fiance. When it comes to the drama the kids are used to it and just say “Oh, thats just how Mom is” but is been four years and I still have trouble getting her, I am a very logical person and I just don’t get it. I feel bad that she likes me so much and I don’t really return the feeling. I would love her to death if she was just and aquaintance but I just can not do all the drama involved with being close to her. 

 

Looking from the outside in though I’m told that its quite hilarious watching me deal with her drama because I just shut it down. I’m in an industry where I work with all men and most of my friends are low drama; I do not do drama regardless of if you are family or not. The one time Fiance and I had a beach house for five days and decided it would be nice to spend some time with his family but wanted some alone time too so we invited his family down for three of the days. She got so offended that they were not invited down for the whole time that she threw an absolute fit and tried the guilt trip of “If I can’t come down the whole time I’m not coming down at all.” Now at this point if she was dealing with Fiance he would have caved and invited her for the full five days. I just told her “I’ll see you at THanksgiving then!” She had no clue how to handle that and ended up coming and behaving herself (mostly) for the three days.

 

Post # 57
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee

I have to say my future mother in law, is the kindest and most accepting person I’ve ever met, I’m very lucky.  I saw how my grandmother treated my future aunt, and she was very cold and judgemental towards her.  It can definitely be a worst nightmare for a bride.  However, nothing is perfect and I do have quite the gosspiy, judgemental future sister in law, who is used to running the show in her family and seems threatened by me. She’s 10 yrs older and has 2 other sisters that are older than her, and I know she gossips to them about me which is unfortunate, but at least I know now and will be very careful with what I do/say around her. Not sure what is worse at this point?

 

Post # 58
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

My Future Mother-In-Law is lovely, but she’s very quiet and as a quiet noisy girl from a fun, crazy family, I sometimes find it a bit difficult – we don’t laugh together very much, or have a lot of fun, which is a shame, but I’m hoping when we have children that she can have fun with them – she’s very keen for us to have children.

Post # 60
Member
1382 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My Future Mother-In-Law is great. There was was a brief time when she seemed to be making less effort to be nice to me (but not being mean) and I think it was partly her getting comfortable with me and partly subconscious worrying about losing her son. I talked to my Fiance and said if she wanted a relationship with me it had to feel like she was trying, with a little effort she could restrain herself from comments about our place being messy (comments she would make to her kids but that I couldn’t take.) And I pointed out if she is worried about me taking her son away as her friends say happened to them, she could prevent that by making an effort with me or guarantee it by making me uncomfortable. He spoke to her and told her that but coming from him. Like I said, she wasn’t bad before that, but after that our relationship has really gotten great. We moved to their region where I don’t know anyone, and they have made a big effort to make me feel welcome, and threw me a birthday celebration since I don’t have friends here. We’ve both had to work at it, but my Mother-In-Law and I have a great relationship.

Post # 61
Member
497 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1993

YUP! Like a lot of you, things totally changed once the ring came. Well actually things were kind of weird from the beginning, but they got really really really bad once we got engaged.

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