(Closed) we set a date and FMIL *could* make it, but doesn't *want* to–your advice?

posted 8 years ago in Family
  • poll: how strongly would you weight a MIL's request to change your wedding date?

    she's a VIP in this situation, too. pick a date that makes her happy, even if you hate it.

    change the date to one that's better for her, but only if FILs are helping pay for the wedding.

    this is the couple's choice, so unless she truly can't make it, don't change it just for her.

  • Post # 20
    Member
    404 posts
    Helper bee

    I voted don’t change, in that if it was that big of a deal, she should have said earlier, seeing as you gave her the chance to!

    Post # 21
    Member
    3038 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    View original reply
    @kjthomps: True. However, if she’s concerned because she’s unfamiliar with long trips – perhaps you can calm her down by mentioning this to her. Really, coming back from Europe is a breeze!   

    Post # 23
    Member
    3038 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    View original reply
    @kjthomps: Clearly. I guess the inner drama queen has a tendency to emerge for some people when it comes to big family affairs. Hope you get her to turn around!

    Post # 24
    Member
    11266 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    i think if you explain that it’s really the only decent date available for you, your fmil will understand.  she is probably just concerned about being too tired to enjoy her son’s wedding.  some people’s jet lag is long.

    when my dh and i were picking our date, it was only 5 months prior.  we knew we wanted the end of april.  (we would be travelling home for the wedding) my fmil kept telling me that there was going to be a horse show that she and fsil wanted to go to she thought on the apr 20-22, two or three hours away.  i acknowledged but let her know that the day will be up to the venue’s availability.  well, the venue was booked on the 21st but available for the 28th.  perfect.  she was happy.  then she found out that she was wrong and that the show was actually 27-29.  she knew i couldn’t change the date so they made due.  fmil and fsil went to the show on friday, came to the wedding on the saturday and then back to the show on sunday.  they were exhausted but they managed both.

    Post # 25
    Member
    388 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    No no no. This is unreasonable!! She’s got plenty of time between her trip and your day, this is crazy. I wouldn’t even consider changing it

    Post # 26
    Member
    163 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @kjthomps: It had just become a joke to  me at this point. Feel free to vent to me as well.

    Post # 29
    Member
    11266 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    View original reply
    @kjthomps:  she kind of had to be.  she gave us the wrong date.  i could tell by the look on her face, she wanted us to change it but she dared not ask or even suggest it.

    The topic ‘we set a date and FMIL *could* make it, but doesn't *want* to–your advice?’ is closed to new replies.

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