Post # 1
does anyone else ever get bothered that you are dishing out all this money on ONE day… one event- no matter how big it is….
to have all these lavish things….
when there are starving children in the world… or other people in need.?
I just kinda had this thought the other day… I might be getting some extra money and at first was excited to use it to buy all the extra stuff I want and then I realised- I have more then enough now… why would I “waste” more of it when there are people who won’t even be eating tonight.
People who need my help….
I just want to know if its just me or if anyone else feels the same way…
not trying to make anyone feel bad so please don’t take it that way! I am not saying this to judge anyone – no matter what you are spending on your wedding.
Its kinda just to put a thought out there… what If .. or what would the world be like- if we spent even half of what we spend on things from weddings- to proms- to eating out – to gas – to our e rings – to just anything.. all those luxuarys… what if we gave up HALF?
how big of a differance would it make?
Wouldn’t that world be amazing? If everyone would be content with less instead of more. and we all helped eachother out .. and didn’t make such a big deal out of.. ya know weddings!
again not triyng to offend or judge anyone- just kinda thinking outloud.
Post # 3
I’ve always wondered whether people have thought that when planning weddings. Just out of curiosity!
Post # 4
If you feel that way you could donate once a month. Make sure to do your research to make sure that your money is going towards what they say it is. Its usually something really low (like 18 dollars a month.)
I understand if you can’t afford to do that EVERY month though. But if you can maybe it will help with the guilt you may be feeling?
So sorry you feel that way though! 🙁 I honestly did not ever feel this way but then again we did not spend that much on our wedding (Way under 1000) & we had just enough to get what we needed.
Post # 5
I think this every time I see a huge wedding. I’m thinking it with my own wedding, and it’s not even going to cost much in comparison.
Post # 6
I donate my time and some of my money to helping those in need, so I feel that I can justify spending time and money on myself and my loved ones. If everyone donated more, in small ways, the whole country and maybe the world would be slightly better off.
Post # 7
Not really, because it’s a slippery slope. Do I really *need* a new necklace? Do I really *need* to have cocktails with my girls after work? Do I really *need* a second pair of shoes when there are children in the world who have NO shoes? Well, no, I don’t really need any of those things, and I could definitely live in a cardboard box somewhere with two pairs of underpants and eat lentils all day and donate the rest of my salary to the poor. But I don’t, because I like necklaces and cocktails and having two pairs of shoes. And as long as I’m donating to charity and helping folks in need when I can, which I definitely do, I don’t get bothered by allowing myself some luxuries.
Post # 8
Didn’t you just say half an hour ago that your mom is paying for 95% of your reception? If you think she’s spending too much, maybe ask her to use the money for toward a donation instead.
I try not to think in these terms regarding my life and my spending. I’m not saying you shouldn’t help others – of course you should where you can! – but you could drive yourself mad with that type of thinking.
Post # 9
Honestly, it never bothered me. I mean, you can make that kind of comparision about almost anything (nice clothes vs thrift store, new car vs used, buying a house, etc). At the end of the day, I think it’s important to contribute to charity, but also to use my resources to enjoy my own life. No one person can save the whole world and you very well may exhaust yourself trying
Post # 10
Well unless you are actually going to be giving that extra money to the starving children instead of saving or spending it, its not fair to beat yourself up over your decision.
There are lots of charities and issues that money could help, but i still do frivolous things. Its a conscious decision I make. However, I do feel OK with my decisions because I do donate a fair amount to choice charities.
Post # 11
@Sweet.Sugar.Rose: mine is only 2,500k and I do a charity drive every christmas last year we did christmas for 5 familys and we are giving any extra money from our honeymoon to buy christmas for a family this year… so its not so much guilt. I mean I realise I am being selfish and greedy and the real “christ” like thing to do would be to just get court house married and then focus on helping other people…
but If I was spending 10,000 I would feel guilty ( not saying that to make anyone else feel guitly) its just me personaly.
Post # 12
No. I work very hard for the money that I have and work even harder to make it go as far as absolutely possible. I make sure that I do what I can for other people, which right now is only my time. I feel like I am a balanced over-all decent person who is allowed to spend a little on myself so I don’t burn out and can continue to work and give what I can.
Post # 13
@VAwife: but if everyone tried the world would be saved- right ?
to quote the lorax-
“unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot- nothing is going to get better- its not”
Post # 14
I think that it is a bit ridiculous to spend $25K or whatever the average wedding costs, but then again so many things in life are a bit ridiculous.
However… I love my luxuries and work hard for them.
Yes, I do sometimes feel bad for those in the world who have bad living conditions or have bad things happen, but one of my pet peeves is when people go on and on about how the poor starving children need help… then they don’t do anything about it.
I am not saying this is you, OP, but I don’t see anything wrong with enjoying life (including spending lots of money) if one can afford it. Giving to charity is important as well, I believe. It just bugs me when people judge others (“OMG they’re spending SO MUCH ON X, Y, Z, what about the poor?!”) and yet stand around and don’t do anything themselves.
So to sum it up, yeah I guess spending a lot of money in one go does make you think, but as long as it isn’t hurting anyone and you can afford it, I don’t think that you should feel bad. If you don’t have the big wedding, will the starving children be fed? Not likely.. you’ll just spend that money in smaller bits on some other first world luxuries.
Post # 15
@alishaloo: Oh I see. so you’re not posting about your own guilt, but rather how you think people spending more than you should feel guilty? How do you know there’s not someone else out there that thinks 2500 is too much to spend when there’s starving children in the world?
Post # 16
I’m only spending half that but,
Because I deserve it. I have spent most of my life scraping by. Spent weeks at homeless shelters (because of my ex, long story), and various other things through out my early adult years.
I’ve worked damn hard for my 2 story apartment. Now We are getting a house. If I want to spend that much on my wedding I damn sure can.
And I care very little if that sounds selfish.