(Closed) We talked about our wedding day and…… (long)

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
2755 posts
Sugar bee

The positive from this is that you will get a chance during your wedding planning to experience the compromise and working together that is required to make a marriage work. It can’t always be one person or the other, it’s gotta be both of you coming together: so that’s what your wedding will be! You said that you know he will compromise, which is great – talk to him as the time grows nearer and let him know that it is very, very important to you to have some traditional aspects to your ceremony, and I’m sure he’ll be willing to incorporate a couple.

I don’t think anyone’s wedding is 100% what they had in their head; few things in life are. You build something up, but once things get rolling there are always little things that get in the way or come up to necessitate change. Just learn to roll with it and I’m sure your wedding will be beautiful and memorable ๐Ÿ™‚

The big thing to keep at the forefront while you go through the experience is that it is BOTH of your days. If you keep that in mind, you will be able to step back and take a breath when he wants something you don’t (and vice versa) and remember that it’s a day for both of you.

Post # 4
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My Fiance and I also had very different ideas.

But we had a serious talk about them BEFORE we got engaged (and I think that was key. Neither of us had any set idea that we HAD to have).

It was really important to me to have the Church wedding, not just for my family, but I couldn’t imagine it any other way. He would prefer to elope, but I just can’t at all imagine doing that.

Then there were things about the reception that he really wanted (inviting massive numbers of people and having a specific band play). Since he ended up getting more of what he wanted there, he was more ok with the church wedding.

It’s all about compromise.

do keep in mind though, if writing your own vows is something you’re REALLY set on, you can’t do that in a catholic wedding. Catholic weddings are about a sacrament and a commitment, not about showing your own personality and personal love for each other.

Post # 6
16196 posts
Honey Beekeeper

How frustrating. I know it’s disheartening to discover that you’re not going to see eye to eye on everything planning-wise, and that planning may not be the smooth process we all hope it will be. But it sounds like you’ve got a great guy who is willing to work through the differences with you. I bet you can find a solution that satisfies you both.

Do you mind sharing some of the things you don’t agree on? If you don’t want to, that’s totally fine. But maybe some of us can help think of tweaks/alterations that could make you both happy?

Post # 8
3942 posts
Honey bee

We actually had some similar issues. My Fiance is definetly not the sterotypical groom that doesn’t care about details, and basically just shows up. He is very involved and has an opinion on pretty much every aspect (except flowers hah). We were raised different religions, but neither of us are practicing. I always envisioned my wedding on a beach or someplace not religious, and it was surprising to me that he always pictured a church.

We are compromising-we found a beautiful non-denominational church. It used to be baptist in the 1800’s, but now its availably for anyone to rent. We will have an officiant that will do some readings, but it will be mainly a non-denominational service.

We’re both happy. He gets the “church” feeling and religious part of the ceremony, and I get the parts that are important to me. Win-win ๐Ÿ™‚

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