- 7 years ago
Bluesguy came over last night, as we’d already discussed. We talked for about 45 minutes, and identified just *why* I’d gotten upset — and that it came down to mixed messages I felt he was sending, and how in my mind, that translates to not knowing what he’s thinking. Which in turn makes me a little… irritated. 🙂 I explained that it wasn’t about a timeline, or a lack of a timeline, but more of a not knowing what he’s thinking. And how that’s what really hurts.
So we came up with code language. If he’s sending mixed messages, I can tell him “You’re acting like a boy.” And if I start overanalyzing, he can tell me that I’m acting like a BluesgirlCollege Woman. (I went to a women’s college… and I’m methodical in my ways of thinking.) But I love him, and he loves me, and we’re committed to this, and I can honestly say without a doubt that I trust him wholeheartedly. We just sometimes suck at saying what we mean.
Then, at the end of it, he said, “When it comes to a timeline, I was thinking 12 months. Not nine.” I laughed, reminded him I didn’t care about a timeline but, “Yes. I agree. 12 months. Nine months would be too soon.” Because honestly, as much as I’d love to be engaged to him now, I know that there’s a bit of a social stigma for getting engaged before a year of dating.
(Although this morning, he said the confused him more if we were both on the same page, because he thought *that* was why I was upset. So I explained again, and then he said it made perfect sense — or, rather “Your mind gets from Point A to Point B to Point C and then just goes on from there,” as he put it — and that he truly didn’t understand that it wasn’t about the timeline. But now he does.)
Plus, that leaves me with less than three months to go! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!