(Closed) We were refused by the catholic church!!!!

posted 9 years ago in Catholic
  • poll: what should i do?

    Should i stick it out with our original priest?

    should i get married by the younger priest if he allows us?

    should i get married by the jp at our reception site?

  • Post # 32
    Member
    5654 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2011

    @KLP2010 WHOA!!!!! Although it may not fall under “catholic code” I think it’s still up to the preist/pastor that’s doing the marrying.

    As for Christianity and Biblical truth for ALL Christ Followers

    1 Thess 5:22 Tells us that we shouldn’t do something if it makes it even LOOK like we’re sinning.

    22Abstain from all appearance of evil. (KJV)

    Remember that it’s the person of Authority that will get the judgment of a person set to teach in truth not in err

    From reading through the posts I think this probably happened through a mis-communiction of the priest asking if they were looking for an apartment w/o the clarifications of the expections of them NOT living together before the I Do’s

    Post # 34
    Member
    4122 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @amnystik: Since cohabitation is not in itself a canonical impediment to marriage, the couple may not be refused marriage solely on the basis of cohabitation.The Priest (and nuns) have taken vows to be obedient to their bishops and Rome, aka, The authority of the Church. Part of the beauty of the Catholic Church is that we have a rich history and structure of counsels and hierarchy which takes interpretation off one mans shoulders unlike our protestant brothers and sisters who often have only their pastor.  Instead of one person being able to change and create rules, (which there are places for minor things) for most things, it has to be within the realm of the churches teachings and there are limits. While they are allowed to show concern, counsel, and request more time for addressing the issue before marriage, they cannot deny it based on cohabitation. Sin of Scandal can come into play with cohabiting couples who remain chaste, however, that’s not our place to judge. 

    I agree, it sounds like miscommunication and I think the OP needs to sit with the priest and have a heart to heart. Unless the church is part of an actual convent, I’m very confused why nuns have the “power” to cancel your wedding.

    Post # 35
    Member
    4122 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    View original reply
    @Miss Tattoo: often these fee’s go to the individual organizations running the event. We did a 2 night 3 day weekend in an oceanfront hotel and it was only like $280 for both of us. Between our catered meals and room fee’s, They weren’t exactly milking it…  That fee went to engaged encounter NOT “The Catholic Church.”

    Post # 36
    Member
    318 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    sorry, it keeps cutting off my post!!
     

     

    Post # 37
    Member
    318 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    Miss Tattoo et al…..(The Catholic church is making a killing off of these couples! I didn’t know you had to PAY for pre marriage stuff!

    Post # 38
    Member
    318 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

      $150 for an 8 hour seminar is not making a killing.  Ours was in a rented hall, they provided snacks and lunch, had a booklet and folder made up for each person, videos, AV equipment, and I believe 6-7 speakers.  Even if the speakers donated their time, I doubt they even covered the costs involved.  Plus the parish would help if you had a true finacial hardship and were unable to pay.    

    Post # 39
    Member
    2521 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I’m deeply offended that people think the Catholic Church is making a killing of their paritioners.  They aren’t.  People they employ to speak at the events and the food that’s served costs money.  If you have a serious financial issue, you can speak to your priest and there can be accomdations made.

    OP:  A priest can’t deny you marriage just because you’re living together.  They can however deny marriage if you have some sort of other impediment as KLP2010 listed.  I would sit down with the priest and if you have issue, speak to your Bishop’s office.  They can show you what issues either you have or send you to another priest.

     

    Post # 40
    Member
    4335 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    View original reply
    @beekiss:people who have *decided* that they don’t like the Catholic Church like to take any excuse to bash it… :-/

    Post # 41
    Member
    45 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @beekiss agreed

     

    I’m also offended that certain people think ‘the catholic church’ is making a killing off of couples.  ‘the catholic curch’ is a VERY broad assesment.  The fees are used to pay for food, the couples who take whole weekends to teach pre-cana, the hall (if necessary), the booklets couples need, our pre-cana class even had games and prizes.  If you’re not catholic and haven’t gone through it, please don’t make judgements.

    Post # 42
    Member
    19 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Wow, that’s kinda unfair. i say find another church and priest, because if the younger priest allows it, you may still get trouble down the road from the older priest and the nuns. Shame, really.

    Post # 43
    Member
    3344 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    View original reply
    @Miss Tattoo: Uh yeah…We paid $200 for private counseling and $375 for a weekend retreat.  Then $650 to the church. $100 to the organist and another $75 to the cantor….

    Post # 44
    Member
    5654 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2011

    @Miss Audry I think even if you’re not Catholic, but attend some kind of church there should be an understanding that things take time and they take money…. I mean books, lessons, people taking time out of their days/weekends. I mean I attend a non-denominational church but still pay when we have conferences or other types of learning/study structures outside of regular service.

    We were able to meet with our Pastor w/o charge but we still had to buy the book we used for our counseling. =)

    Post # 45
    Member
    3344 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I find it odd that the priest would say it’s up to the sisters to decide if you should be allowed to marry there.  It isn’t up to the sisters!  I think he’s too coward to say that he doesn’t approve.

    Post # 46
    Member
    263 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I agree with the PP. I’ve never heard of sisters dictating who gets married in the church. Very odd.

    And also, the Catholic church instructs that every care and consideration should be taken to be sensitive to couples who are living together. They are allowed to express concern (our priest didn’t say one word about it), but they can’t refuse to marry you!

     

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