(Closed) We won a honeymoon and FI doesn't fly!!!! Help!

posted 5 years ago in Honeymoons
Post # 3
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Xanax and a blindfold.

Post # 4
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@deetroitwhat:  +1

He’s being unreasonable, imo. He won’t even consider it? It’s a free honeymoon!! πŸ˜› Get him some meds… lots of people use them to fly and they’re super helpful. 

Post # 5
Member
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I am also unbelievably terrified of flying, but I do it because its necessary for my job. I understand how he feels, but seriously, he should just suck it up and go.

 

My Dr. prescribed me Xanax that I can take every time I get on a plane, and let me just tell you, when I take that stuff, the plane could fall apart around me and I wouldn’t care. maybe he can go to the Dr., he might have some sort of anxiety and the Dr. will be able to help with that. 

 

Meanwhile, tell him that flying is statistically the second safest way to travel (next to elevators).  True story.

Post # 6
Member
4659 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Where do you live? Road trip? Haha. 

 

Otherwise I agree with @deetroitwhat:  sorta – he should go to the doctor, explain his problem, and get a prescription for xanax or valium or some other sedative. It makes an ENORMOUS difference. I have a serious business phobia of dental work and even a tiny low-dose valium is the difference between crying and shaking in the chair or sitting there cheerfully daydreaming.

 

Post # 7
Hostess
11167 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

…give the prize to me. πŸ™‚ Problem solved.

 

I kid, I kid. I too am terrified of flying. Didn’t use to be, kicked in when I turned 25 or so. I highly recommend some good drugs and an ipod/ipad for background music. If he can sleep his way through the flight you can have yourselves a wonderful honeymoon.

Post # 8
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee

Tell him how much it means to you. Take him to the Dr. & Before the flight drug him up!

If i were in your position there would be no discussion πŸ™‚

Post # 9
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@ambartsch: 

First of all: CONGRATULATIONS!!! I think every girl here wishes she could win a honeymoon πŸ˜›

How long is it going to be before you have to use up the trip? Based on this you might be able to get him to go and see someone (psychologist) who specializes in anxiety disorders, IF he wants to get over his fear…

It can be a very rewarding experience to be able to overcome your fears, and would be great for him either way. But, with that said it really isn’t cool if you push him too hard. What people who don’t suffer from phobias don’t understand is just how hard it is!!! It’s not like a phobia is something that people WANT to have, and it’s harder to “suck it up” than you think…The bottom line is that you love him, and even though you would love that trip I’m sure you love him way more than that. Maybe try to get to the bottom of things yourself. Figure out where this fear all came from, sometimes talking about it can help a lot. There are also relaxation stratagies that you can look up that he can try without going to a professional. For instance, “mindful breathing” techniques while he visualizes different steps of the plane process at home (so the first few days he may visualize himself at the airport and do the mindful breathing until that doesn’t stress him out, next he would picture himself boarding and mindfully breathing, sitting down, take off, etc etc). And once he feels more comfortable with even the THOUGHT of airplanes then you can talk to him about the possibility of going and even getting drugs to relax him WHILE he is about the board.

If there is NOT enough time to see a professional or he refuses… maybe you can use the trip as a week away before the wedding with your Maid/Matron of Honor or something, or just not go. Sometimes these contests will choose another winner if the person does not use it. 

OR, I don’t really know if the contest is one of those that it HAS to be you who goes…but maybe you can actually give it away… start a contest of your own or something. People can submit their cases and you choose contenders based on who needs it most  and then randomly choose from that group.

Post # 10
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m pretty scared of flying, but not to the extent of your Fiance. I insisted that our Honeymoon would be within driving distance though!! If we had won a honeymoon though, you bet I would drug myself up and do it. πŸ˜‰

I’ve always just taken Benadryl. It makes me so groggy that I can’t be anxious. 

Post # 11
Member
36 posts
Newbee

My sister is terrified of flying but has to for her job. She, too, got a Xanax perscription and it totally works for her. But, be warned! She has taken them too early and missed connections/had to be woken up to de-plane, etc. They’re powerful and make everything feel like it’s made of felt. 

One of my girlfriends contacted SFO and found out they offer fear-of-flying classes. I’m not kidding. They bring a bunch of people to a mock-airplane and simulate takeoff, in-flight, and landing but they have coaches and breating techniques and everything so you can learn to deal with it while seeing what actually happens on the flight. At the end they go on an actual (small) flight where everyone gets to go into the cockpit, meet the pilots, ask questions, and then land safely!

So… that’s an option!

Congrats, I hope it works out!!

Post # 12
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

First, make sure you legitimately won a honeymoon and not some money trap. Like what happened to me and mine. We had “won” a cruise, but in actuality you still had to pay for it… So we really didn’t win anything.

Second, my fiance is also afraid of flying, I would never ever force him to do something he is drastically scared of doing. It’s like forcing you into a room full of spiders! Forcing him to go will only make it worse.

If he can’t take meds to help his fear, I’d say sell your honeymoon to someone else if it’s possible? I don’t know if you can sell stuff like that you win, and then buy a cruise, something that doesn’t have to do with flying. Or is there a way to take a cruise to the Punta Cana place and still stay the 5 nights you won?

Post # 13
Member
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

drug him and enjoy your honeymoon!

Post # 14
Member
7403 posts
Busy Beekeeper

take me????

Otherwise…drugs.

Post # 15
Member
1491 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Outside of forcing him on the plane with drugs, can you instead have a real honeymoon with your Fiance to a diffeerent location (one he won’t be terrified about going on) and treat this win trip as a free vacay with a girlfriend or your mom?? Just because it is billed as a honeymoon trip doesnt mean it actually has to be your honeymoon trip, just saying.  If my Fiance couldnt go, I would totally be taking my mom or maid of honor and have a girls trip!!

Post # 16
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

MAKE HIM GO!!!!

 

Seriously it hurts us to make them suffer but its for their own good. My Fiance is terrified of hospitals and refused to go back for his check-ups after he was cleared of cancer. Me and his grandmother had to force him force him force him. 

 

 

 

Get some extra support/pressure from family members, some pills and make him go!!!

 

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