Post # 1
Has anyone ever done this, planning to do this? what are your thoughts? is this bad etiquette?
The backstory: I attended a wedding of my fiance’s friend. They do share several mutual friends so I assume about 10 people who have been to her wedding will attend ours. Her wedding was in Oct 2016. Mine will be Nov 2017.
The dress is the lazaro 3415.
I have been trying to find something similar but I have yet to find one I like more (I like the train and the flowers). The ones I’ve seen are just missing something.
Thing is, I knew about this dress before I attended her wedding as extrapetite.com wore the same one, but I didn’t fall in love with it until I saw it on the bride in person at the wedding.
Also I plan to buy one second-hand so I would not be making one.
Post # 2
Is she invited to your wedding? It would probably be awkward in that case. As a guest, it’s unlikely I’d recognize the same dress a year later unless it had some unusual detailing.
Post # 3
I’d wear it anyway. If she’s invited then she’ll be the only one who recognizes it. No one else will remember what she wore a year later. The same dress can look completely different on different people. If she says something you can just laugh it off, but if it’s your dream dress then wear it.
Post # 4
The bride is the only person that would recognize it. You’ll just have to decide if you could laugh off any comment she could make or not.
Post # 5
- Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull
Does she know you hadn’t already purchased the dress?
I bought my dress in 2015 for my 2017 wedding so there was ample time for it to come in. There would have been plenty of opportunity for someone else to have worn it in the meantime (thankfully I’ve not had many weddings to attend lately lol)
If you *could* have purchased it before her wedding, I’d blag that if you’re worried what people might think, but don’t they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery? 🙂
Post # 6
If she’s worried about other people wearing the same dress as her, she should have gotten one custom made. No one will notice, wear what you want.
Post # 7
Agree the bride is the only one who will know. I wouldn’t be able to pick out anyone elses wedding dress other than my mother’s when she got married a couple of years ago, and only because I have a photo of her in it that I see all the time!!
Post # 8
Who cares?! If you love it and feel like it’s your dress, get it!
I doubt anyone will notice a year later and if she does notice, she should be flattered. The only way I can see her being upset was if your wedding was before hers and you knew she had that dress. I can’t imagine her saying anything negative to you about it.
I think you’re safe. Go get your dream dress!!
Post # 9
People will recognise it. Your weddings are only a year apart and you’re having almost a dozen mutual guests. I remember the dresses of the brides whose weddings I’ve been to. I wouldn’t be a big enough idiot to comment on it though. All that said, if you’re okay with it, everyone else should be.
Post # 10
thanks for everyone’s comments. and yes, she (and her husband) will be attending the wedding, most likely. i believe her maid of honor will too.
stephisaur : booksybee :
I might have told her I love her dress during the wedding. i was wondering if i should actually ask her for permission or at least inform her on it.
about 5 of them are girls, i would assume the guys won’t remember. i don’t care if the guests noticed, but i don’t want to offend her. granted though it’s not an uncommon dress.
Post # 11
I don’t think it’s in bad taste but personally as the first bride, I’d be bummed to see a friend in it a year later. It would no longer feel like my dress. And in your position, I just wouldn’t do it as I’d feel too weird.
But no, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it in general.
Post # 12
I was married in May 2014 and attended a wedding for a friend in July of 2015 and I’m almost positive we wore the same dress. The funniest part was that I assumed my DH wouldn’t notice too much (not that he didn’t notice my dress or compliment it or anything but the intricate details he pointed out made me realize how much he actually paid attention) and he pointed it out to me before I even said anything to him. This bride was invited to our wedding but was unable to attend because she ended up giving birth a little earlier than her due date, so she probably had no idea what I wore, even though I’m sure she saw pictures.
That being said, I did not care in the least. It actually made me feel like I picked something that other people liked enough to buy for themselves, and it was a major designer dress (Maggie Sottero) so it’s not like I had it specially made or anything. You don’t get rights to a dress you buy off the rack, and if someone else likes it and wears the same thing, that’s well within their rights. It doesn’t make it any less “your dress” IMO.
Obviously, you can’t know how the first bride who wore your dress will react, but if this is the dress that you know in your heart is “the one” then I say go for it. I assume you don’t have the same colors, decor, or everything else the same as this bride, so it’s not like you’re “copying” her in any way. 2 people can like the same dress in the same general social circle and it’s not a crime.
Post # 13
I wouldn’t give her input. I can see how giving her a heads-up would be appealing because it could give you peace of mind, but it could also backfire. If this is truly your dress, then wear it proudly knowing there could be a potential awkward moment. I don’t mean to focus on the negative, but if it were me I’d prepare myself for that possibility and hope that she would be incredibly flattered.
Post # 14
I normally don’t care about that kind of stuff…but with so many people overlapping I probably wouldn’t wear the same dress. If you weren’t having so many of the same guests I’d say do whatever makes you happy.
DH and I got married at the same venue as some of our friends, just two weeks after them (and DH was their best man). Normally I’d say it’s a no-go, but we literally have NO overlapping guests at that wedding so I didn’t consider it a big deal.
Post # 15
It’s a mass produced dress. How do people claim something “theirs” that has thousands floating around the country? That mindset has always be weird to me.
That’s like getting mad at someone wearing a dress from J. Crew or Macy’s. I wouldn’t concern myself with this. Wear you dress proudly. How you look and accessories nobody should care.