(Closed) Wearing Black to a Wedding

posted 11 years ago in Dress
  • poll: Is it okay to wear a black dress to a wedding?

    Yes

    No

  • Post # 17
    Member
    473 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @CoffeeHound: well, looks like all my featured colors at my wedding are a huge NO. 

    i’m SO over the old-school etiquette rules. wear black! wear white! ask the bride! if she says yes, then my gosh, take her seriously. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    225 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @CoffeeHound – I don’t want this to come across as me challenging what you said, because I’m not, I’m just genuinely curious – have you ever been to a wedding where this has happened? I’m just really surprised, because yes, I’ve been to weddings where people gossiped about the girl wearing all white, but usually half of the guests are wearing black and I’ve never ever heard anyone mention it.

    Post # 19
    Member
    8247 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I personally try to avoid it if I can because there are so many other color options that don’t come with the affiliation of funerals but I have no problem with people wearing black to weddings and if I can’t find something else, I’d wear it too.  Plus, you paired it with a fun red purse which I wouldn’t expect to see at a funeral.  Maybe it’s be better to have some fun colorful shoes too instead of black but I think that outfit is completely fine for a wedding

    Post # 20
    Member
    3572 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I personally avoid black at weddings because I find it boring/obvious but I think a black dress is perfectly acceptable to wear

    Post # 21
    Member
    813 posts
    Busy bee

    Black makes women feel sexy. Every woman wants to have the little black dress and said dress is PERFECT for weddings. You don’t wear it to work. You don’t wear it funerals and lord knows none of us have time to go to fancy dinners (or hell, afford it for that much) so where else is there to wear said dress? Yes, a wedding. Women love a reason to get dressed up and weddings allow us that opportunity.

    Post # 22
    Member
    7039 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @CoffeeHound: Um, when did RED become bad? A color is a color is a color, and there are few more sophisticated than black and red. I think it is fine on all accounts to wear these colors!

    Post # 23
    Member
    103 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Considering that the outfit is flirty, I would say it would not be considered to be too morbid for a wedding. In fact, its classy because its not overly sexy.  Now if it was more covered up and you added a black headpiece..i might think its in appropriate..but what you have there is cute!!

    Then again, I think it would be appropriate to wear any outfit (aside from a long all white dress) so long it is appropriate in style.  I would be more upset if someone were to come to my wedding in a blue, pink, purple, or any other vibrant colors dress that is too short or barely wearing anything (or in cut off jeans and a t-shirt)!  Plus it depends on the wearer..wearing a black dress and beaming with love and happiness for the couple is different than wearing the same dress and attending the wedding with contempt for their day.  I say it’s the people that make the clothes and not the other way around.   

    Post # 24
    Member
    3572 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I wouldn’t wear red to a wedding, in general people wear red to get attention. Just to clarify, I don’t think I’d mind if someone wore red to my wedding but when I’m dressing for someone else I err on the side of caution. There are million colors to wear (navy, purple, green, silver, bronze) why wear something that might upset the bride?

    Post # 25
    Member
    962 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    Here’s my take:  If my niece (24 years old) or my BFF’s daughter (19) or pretty much anyone under, say, 50 wore black to my wedding I wouldn’t think a thing of it.

    If my mom wore black I would be highly offended.  Why?  Because for her generation, (and this is a generalization of course) black is generally still considered to be the color of mourning.

    In fact, when my mother went dress shopping with me and then started looking at MOB dresses and commented on a  black one I told her flat out that it would be rude of her to wear that.  In fact, I think she pointed out the black dress just to get my feathers ruffled because she KNOWS that I know that she thinks of black as “too dark/morbid” or “mourning attire”.  Of course there is history there with her not approving of my relationship… but my mom does NOT wear all black on a regular basis and always comments negatively when I or others do. 

    So if it was someone who I know considers black to be “mourning” attire or negative or morbid, then yeah I’d be pissed. 

    Since I realize that most younger generations don’t think that way (and I myself wear black all the time), I would not notice or care if others wore black to a wedding if they were not of that mindset.

    Post # 26
    Member
    305 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    @Circus Peanut: Yes, I have seen it at weddings.  I’ve attended probably 20 weddings in the last 5 years and only three times has a guest worn a primarily black or red dress (never a white one). Every single time, I heard it being mentioned.  In fact, someone even used it as an icebreaker.  I thought it was a little tacky to gossip, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t take away from the bride and groom.   But, again, it could be a cultural issue.  Most of the weddings I attend are in the South. 

     

    View original reply
    @cardigan: You could make that argument with anything.  “Who cares if your guests wear white, it’s just a color.”  “Who cares if your ex boyfriend tells the story about the last time you were intimate at your wedding, it’s just a story.”  “Who cares if your mother in law does not show up, it’s just a guest.” etc.  In fact, you could even say “Who care what the bride thinks, it’s just a day.” 

     

    Post # 27
    Member
    1737 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    I’m wearing a black dress to a wedding. Pretty sure that’s why everyone loves their “little black dress” because you can wear it everywhere.

     

    Post # 28
    Member
    225 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    CoffeeHound – Ha! That is something, snarking on other guests as an ice breaker. You said you are from the south, I’ve heard from friends who live there that parts of the south can definitely be more old-school and traditional, so that makes sense. I remember a friend telling me about how, in college, girls would wear dresses, heels, pearls, etc. to the football games, which I absolutely couldn’t fathom!

    Post # 29
    Member
    962 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    When did red become a no-no? 

    Personally I wouldn’t wear black as in ALL black.  I would be wearing a cardigan or jacket in another color if I wore a black dress.

    I am confused about the red though.  I haven’t been to a wedding in ages but the last one I attended, I wore red and never gave it a second thought.  I certainly don’t wear red to “get attention”… but because it looks good on me and I happened to have a nice dress already that was classy and just happened to be red.  I’m not the type to buy something new unless I HAVE to and at the time I was an at-home mom whose wardrobe was 99% jeans and t-shirts.  So I wore my nicest dress.

    It was a lot like this, and I wore low heeled red pumps and carried a red clutch.  Certainly no one looked at me funny… !?

    Post # 30
    Member
    324 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I have never heard you shouldn’t wear black or red to a wedding.  Red’s just not my color, but I have definitely worn black cocktail dresses to weddings, including black tie.  And I was not the only one.  Where does this rule stem from?  It it cultural or regional?

    Post # 31
    Member
    962 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    @vaness13181:  I have grown up with the “no black” thing.  I am in Texas, as is my family for generations back… but I suspect this rule is more generational than regional.

    I wear a lot of black.  When I was younger I wore it almost exclusively… but I still wear it a lot and it has always driven my mother and grandmother CRAZY.  They would incessantly asked if it was because I was depressed, or into “morbid things” or tell me I was trying to be gothic.  When it was simply that it looked good on me and I liked it!  It was just how they were raised; black was for funerals and that’s it.

    Like I said I was taught that black at a wedding was a no-no but I also realize that younger generations don’t think that way.   So I can see both sides of it.  (for the record I am 39!)

    Never ever heard the red thing though.

    The topic ‘Wearing Black to a Wedding’ is closed to new replies.

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