Post # 1
My mom and I went dress shopping together on Saturday at Von Maur and my mom ended up really liking a black dress. She looked great and we were going to buy it. While my mom was changing the sales lady who was assisting us said ‘oh, your mom is so lucky you’ll let her wear black to the wedding!’ and I was like… what!? It obviously means nothing to me so I’m letting my mom wear a black dress but what is the rationale behind her comment? Is this actually a ‘thing’?
Post # 2
A very old rule. Both of my daughter’s Mother-In-Law were/are wearing predominately black gowns. Black-tie weddings in the evening. No problem …
Post # 3
I think it’s important to realize the purpose of the original rule: the real point was not to look *funerary*, or like you are in mourning, as it may be interpretted as a comment on the marriage. That particular concept still stands, but our treatment of black as a social color has changed dramatically.
Black would also likely be simply out of place at a daytime garden wedding in the South, for intance, but that’s more of a style issue. For the vast majority of weekend evening weddings, a black *party dress*, or a LBD would be perfectly appropriate, and does not violate the *spirit* of the original rule.
(It’s just like the ‘don’t wear white’ purpose is ‘don’t look remotely bridal’, while ‘don’t wear red’ I like to think of as ‘don’t dress like Jessica Rabbit’.)
Post # 4
I never heard don’t wear red…as far as the mothers go, I have always heard that the color of their dress should compliment the bridesmaids/wedding colors. If black compliments the wedding theme, then why not? if the dresses are seafoam green, that might be weird 🙂
Post # 5
springbride23: During both of my sisters weddings they told everyone not to wear black as they both thought it was bad luck. Now years later they think its weird that i chose black bridesmaid dresses (its what i wanted!) but it goes perfectly with our black tie winter wedding. 🙂 to each their own i guess..
Post # 6
My mom found a beautiful black dress with lace on the top and I had no problem with it! In fact, I’m the one who picked it our for her to try. I don’t think it matters!
Post # 7
The key is just not to look as if you are in mourning, which could be taken as a negative comment about the marriage. So a smart, tailored dress which is in keeping with the style of the day is probably fine… a black dress with long gloves, a hat, and a black veil is probably not!
Post # 8
As I mentioned in the white thread, traditional etiquette to this day still frowns on black, especially for a mother, but contemporary, liberal sources such as Post have declared this to be passé. Just as with white, there are still people who make the association, so for that reason, even though we wear black as a guest, my mother did not feel comfortable in it as a host. I would not have cared at all.
On the other hand there is no rule that the mothers must coordinate with anyone,including one another or the bridal party.
Post # 9
My mum wore black to my sisters wedding, it seems common now. Some of my European friends though say it is still considered wring in theit cultures though.
Post # 10
Sephiroth: Yep, exactly. Ever since Coco Chanel popularized the little black dress in the 1920s, wearing black has been seen as a chic fashion choice rather than an indication of mourning.
Especially given that so many weddings in the U.S. are evening parties, black is a completely appropriate choice for a guest. Or for bridesmaids!