Post # 1
- Wedding: August 2019 - City, State
I wanted to get your thoughts on wearing black to a wedding.
A little back story. My Mother (the MOB) has found the dress she wants to wear to my wedding, which is black. I mentioned this in passing to my Future Mother-In-Law, as she wanted to know what color my mother was wearing so she would not copy or clash. When she, my future sister in law and Future Father-In-Law heard me state my mother’s dress was black, they were all taken aback. We were at the dinner table which is why they all heard.
My Future Father-In-Law was especially upset, stating he felt it was disrespectful to wear black to a wedding when you are family of the bride and groom.
I did mention to my mother that I would be ok with her wearing black if it was really what she wanted. I want her to feel happy, beautiful and confident on my big day. But I did ask her to at least consider wearing a color! She said she would think about it but seems to really have her heart set on this dress. Though I feel I should note the same dress also comes in one of my wedding colors.
So what are your thoughts on wearing black to weddings Bees? Ok if you are a guest only? Not if you are involved in the wedding? Or is it just ok all around? Would love to hear your thoughts!
Post # 2
It’s totally fine for anyone (unless the bride is wearing black, which would be announced beforehand). I just went to a wedding where the entire bridal party and both families wore black.
Post # 3
It is laughable that your Future Father-In-Law is “upset” on your behalf over something that doesn’t bother you.
There is an old school view that black or red, or something too bright are all colours to be avoided at a wedding, I think it is outdated and pointless. If someone is offended by a guests wearing black to someone else’s wedding they need to get a grip imo.
Post # 4
There was a time when many considered wearing black to a wedding as signifying mourning or disapproval. I thought we were long past that time…apparently your FI’s family isn’t.
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2018 - Location
It’s seen as bad luck to wear to a wedding but as someone who loves black, I’m always tempted.
I think it depends on the setting. If it’s an evening wedding in an old stone building with leaded windows and candle lighting then yes-super cool.
A garden party or near a beach, not so much.
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2019 - City, State
jayrock : My wedding will be in an outdoor garden and the reception will be in a traditional ballroom, however we are having a more formal wedding. So I can see why she would want to wear black!
I reall just wanted to see if it was poor ettiquette to wear it! So far it seems not! 🙂
Post # 7
My mom and Mother-In-Law both wore black to my wedding. We had a formal wedding and their dresses were nothing like something one would wear to a funeral (my mom wore a form fitting trumpet gown). I wouldn’t think twice about someone wearing black to a wedding.
Post # 8
I wore black to munch SIL’s wedding last weekend. Absolutely no one had a problem with it, in fact I got a lot of compliments on my dress.
And lots of men wear black suits and no one bats an eye.
Post # 9
gunnabamissus : my family sticks to the tradition that black means you object to the marriage. They know most guests don’t follow that rule anymore, but would certainly side eye one of the mothers wearing a black gown. When my Mother-In-Law wanted to wear black I said “it’s your decision, and I’m fine with whatever you pick, however you should be aware that my family will be offended and think you object to the wedding”. Knowing how her dress would appear to my family she chose something else.
Post # 10
My mom wore black to my wedding. I didn’t even give it a second thought, but my bridesmaid dresses were black too I guess.
I have worn a little black dress to many weddings. I don’t see the issue and have never heard of it being an issue either.
Post # 11
Everyone wore black to my wedding. Lot of goths in attendance.
Post # 12
I don’t know anthing about wearing black to a wedding in terms of etiquette/tradition/superstition, and quite frankly, I don’t care if someone chooses to wear back to a wedding. I don’t think there are any rules about it, and I think it is highly inappropriate that your father in law has made any sort of comment about your mum’s choice of outfit. If you and your mum are happy then what on earth makes him think he gets a say in it?!
However, I personally would never wear black to a wedding…or to any party, really. At occasions I generally like to wear colour, that’s my personal taste. Surely that is all these sorts of things should come down to.
Post # 13
For one of the immediate family members to wear black can be taken as a sign of disapproval of the marriage, particularly by the older crowd. Maybe it’s a regional thing, but I was always raised not to wear black to a wedding. Then little black dresses became okay, but I always accessorized with pops of color. But my husband’s grandmother wore black to our wedding and I don’t believe anyone took it negatively because we had a formal, winter wedding. When she wore black to his cousins outdoor, Sunday morning spring wedding however…. everyone was offended. Maybe it’s because we knew the back history of how she felt about that marriage though…
Post # 14
- Wedding: June 2019 - Cortland, NY
In my opinion, black is THE most appropriate color to wear to a wedding in the wintertime. Darker, but still elegant, and subdued so you don’t draw attention to yourself.
For fall, browns and yellows. For spring, pink and pale green. For summer, blue.
But that’s just me XD
Post # 15
gunnabamissus : I have worn black to weddings, I’m planning to wear a black dress to a wedding next weekend.
My mom wore a black dress to my wedding.
Not a big deal.