Wearing black to a wedding

posted 1 month ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee

It’s totally fine for anyone (unless the bride is wearing black, which would be announced beforehand). I just went to a wedding where the entire bridal party and both families wore black.

Post # 3
Member
4857 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

It is laughable that your Future Father-In-Law is “upset” on your behalf over something that doesn’t bother you. 

There is an old school view that black or red, or something too bright are all colours to be avoided at a wedding, I think it is outdated and pointless.  If someone is offended by a guests wearing black to someone else’s wedding they need to get a grip imo. 

Post # 4
Member
6044 posts
Bee Keeper

There was a time when many considered wearing black to a wedding as signifying mourning or disapproval. I thought we were long past that time…apparently your FI’s family isn’t. 

Post # 5
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

It’s seen as bad luck to wear to a wedding but as someone who loves black, I’m always tempted. 

I think it depends on the setting. If it’s an evening wedding in an old stone building with leaded windows and candle lighting then yes-super cool. 

A garden party or near a beach, not so much. 

Post # 7
Member
13464 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

My mom and Mother-In-Law both wore black to my wedding.  We had a formal wedding and their dresses were nothing like something one would wear to a funeral (my mom wore a form fitting trumpet gown).  I wouldn’t think twice about someone wearing black to a wedding.

Post # 8
Member
9390 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I wore black to munch SIL’s wedding last weekend. Absolutely no one had a problem with it, in fact I got a lot of compliments on my dress.

And lots of men wear black suits and no one bats an eye. 

Post # 9
Member
7184 posts
Busy Beekeeper

gunnabamissus :  my family sticks to the tradition that black means you object to the marriage. They know most guests don’t follow that rule anymore, but would certainly side eye one of the mothers wearing a black gown. When my Mother-In-Law wanted to wear black I said “it’s your decision, and I’m fine with whatever you pick, however you should be aware that my family will be offended and think you object to the wedding”. Knowing how her dress would appear to my family she chose something else. 

Post # 10
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

My mom wore black to my wedding. I didn’t even give it a second thought, but my bridesmaid dresses were black too I guess. 

I have worn a little black dress to many weddings. I don’t see the issue and have never heard of it being an issue either. 

Post # 11
Member
9551 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Everyone wore black to my wedding. Lot of goths in attendance.

Post # 12
Member
528 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: London, UK

I don’t know anthing about wearing black to a wedding in terms of etiquette/tradition/superstition, and quite frankly, I don’t care if someone chooses to wear back to a wedding. I don’t think there are any rules about it, and I think it is highly inappropriate that your father in law has made any sort of comment about your mum’s choice of outfit. If you and your mum are happy then what on earth makes him think he gets a say in it?!

However, I personally would never wear black to a wedding…or to any party, really. At occasions I generally like to wear colour, that’s my personal taste. Surely that is all these sorts of things should come down to.

Post # 13
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

For one of the immediate family members to wear black can be taken as a sign of disapproval of the marriage, particularly by the older crowd. Maybe it’s a regional thing, but I was always raised not to wear black to a wedding. Then little black dresses became okay, but I always accessorized with pops of color. But my husband’s grandmother wore black to our wedding and I don’t believe anyone took it negatively because we had a formal, winter wedding. When she wore black to his cousins outdoor, Sunday morning spring wedding however…. everyone was offended. Maybe it’s because we knew the back history of how she felt about that marriage though…

Post # 14
Member
1446 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - Cortland, NY

In my opinion, black is THE most appropriate color to wear to a wedding in the wintertime. Darker, but still elegant, and subdued so you don’t draw attention to yourself. 

For fall, browns and yellows. For spring, pink and pale green. For summer, blue. 

But that’s just me XD

Post # 15
Member
2870 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

gunnabamissus :  I have worn black to weddings, I’m planning to wear a black dress to a wedding next weekend.

My mom wore a black dress to my wedding.

Not a big deal.

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