Wearing black to a wedding

posted 1 month ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

If you’re not offended, I wouldn’t worry about it. My mom and Mother-In-Law wore navy, and it was one of my colors. So we had basically everyone in pics in Navy and it was fine! If your mom feels good and confident, let her wear the dress. If you’re worried about your future IL’s saying anything (they seem like a trip and will start a rumor just to start one) see if the dress she loves comes in navy. Navy typically looks better on everyone than black anyway and it will still be the same dark color and hide everything she wants hidden. Suggest that, if she insists on black, let her wear it and just ignore everyone else! I’m sure her happiness will shine through on the day no matter what she’s wearing! 

Post # 18
Member
1464 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - City, State

I have to ask – are your in-laws Ukranian? Wearing black to a wedding signifies that you do not like the bride (according to my eccentric Ukranian grandmother-in-law – this might just be a “her” thing, but she claims it is a Ukranian tradition).

Otherwise, it’s just an outdated rule. I wore black to my SIL’s wedding, no one batted an eye and my SIL didn’t care. If you don’t care that your mom is wearing black, then no one else should.

Post # 20
Member
1864 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

gunnabamissus :  it’s an old-school view but for some people black is seen as mourning clothes and it was historically used to mark disapproval of the marriage. It might be an old-school view but it’s still a view your in-laws hold. I’d explain to your mom that it makes your in-laws feel uncomfortable. If she wants to wear black, there are ways to Mark that she isn’t disapproving of your partner. Accessorise with bright colours, a colourful belt to break up the black, a coloured shawl or shoes and handbag. If it’s a sparkly black dress, it’s also less like something you would wear to a funeral.

I know it doesn’t bother you but it does bother your in-laws. I think you should try to respect your in-laws wishes if you can. It just makes your marriage get off to an easier start if your mom hasn’t offended them.

Post # 21
Member
2611 posts
Sugar bee

I generally wear black to a weddingi {and every where else} with my Tahitian pearls and red shoes.

Post # 22
Member
2315 posts
Buzzing bee

I think this idea is outdated.  

Post # 23
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

I’ve worn black to multiple weddings and always seen multiple people wearing black at weddings. Nothing wrong with it. I wouldn’t bat an eye if I saw the MOB wearing black.

Post # 24
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2019

gunnabamissus : My future Mother-In-Law showed me a black dress and I said no way (as politely as possible!). I didn’t like the sentiment and additionally, I know my family and FH’s family. If she wore a black dress she would probably get a lot of jokes/comments about her being in “mourning.” She doesn’t always have the best sense of humor and I think she would have felt embarassed by that. Not sure what your mom or your family is like, but other people will notice and it is definitely something to keep in mind!

Post # 25
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

I’ve worn a little black dress to the majority of weddings I’ve been to. I’d never heard of black being a bad thing in some places until I came on here and people were saying that at Southern US weddings it used to be a thing. 

Post # 26
Member
1973 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I wouldn’t be bothered at all if someone wears black to a wedding. It’s a popular choice for evening wear and a lot of people feel that they look skinnier in black.

 

Post # 27
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee

I don’t see this as a big deal, I’ve worn black to a wedding before.

The only issue I have is with someone wearing white to a wedding. 

Post # 28
Member
266 posts
Helper bee

Depends on where you are. Where I live (Europe) it is considered rude to wear black to a wedding. Black is for funerals, not celebrations. 

Post # 29
Member
493 posts
Helper bee

In Scandinavia it’s a no no, here black is seen as a mourning color so women don’t wear all black to weddings. It’s considered distasteful and disrespectful.

Post # 30
Member
349 posts
Helper bee

I agree with one of the above posters. All these comments about wether or not women are “allowed” to wear black to a wedding, but men wear black suits to weddings ALL THE TIME and no one cares. 
I wouldn’t think anything of it. I have a beautiful black lace dress and if I was invited to a wwedding in the winter I would absolutely consider wearing it. 

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