Wearing engagement ring for months now…and I hate it:( What to do?

posted 2 years ago in Rings
Post # 77
1355 posts
Bumble bee

I believe it is only fair that you and you alone should pay for the change. He has already spent time,  effort and money to purchase exactly what you asked for and should not be obliged to contribute any more because you changed your mind. 

Post # 78
5985 posts
Bee Keeper

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embarrassedbeebabe :  Yes, but you are wanting the change you haven’t even worn it that long and you’re already talking about changing it from something he specifically asked you for.

Post # 79
716 posts
Busy bee

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embarrassedbeebabe :  You say things and then you justify them with direct contradictions. You clearly don’t view it as all the same money because you wouldn’t be so adamant (and you are surely being adamant given how much you’ve mentioned it) on him paying at least some of it. You say you’ll be happy enough with the 1 carat solitaire, but I’m telling you now you’re going to regret resetting it like that and hate the “finger coverage” it lacks.

Post # 80
162 posts
Blushing bee

“We pay for most things jointly so I don’t see why this is different”

Uh maybe because he already spent THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS not jointly? But you won’t even pay for the new setting??? My goodness I’m getting some weird vibes from this… Why is OP so unwilling to fork out the cash for changing her mind?

Post # 82
42 posts

I would never ask to split the cost. In fact, I did the opposite. I asked my man if I could chip in, since it is a really expensive purchase. I guess I was just raised differently. 

Post # 83
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2022 - Edmonton, AB

View original reply
embarrassedbeebabe :  Hi embarassed bee. I am just tuning in now. I am really curious what your ring size is… would you be willing to share?

Hope everything works out for you.

Post # 84
4398 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

A big gesture? Yes, so generous of you to offer to help pay for a second ring in 6 months after he got you everything you asked for.

I’m sure your Nobel Peace Prize is on the way. 

Post # 85
30 posts
  • Wedding: September 2019 - Somewhere in Texas

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elderbee :  LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK. IT sounds so asinine.

Post # 86
433 posts
Helper bee

Oh nice. He makes significantly more money so he should have to pay for whatever you decide you want instead of you saving up the money to buy things for yourself. He already bought you what you told him you wanted, it’s not his fault you changed your mind after the fact. Why should he have to pay for your mistake?

Post # 87
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
embarrassedbeebabe :  what is your ring size??? I really think you will regret resetting the stone to a plain solitaire setting because halos tends to give more coverage. I love solitaries but if you are looking for the coverage i do not think it will suite you. I would honestly shop around more and try on more different settings just to make sure. but again what is your ring size? 

Post # 88
7 posts

Poor guy. 

I’m a student too, and I’ve felt plenty awful enough to not be able to contribute equally to our JOINT pool of money due to only having part time jobs and student debt. 

And here’s someone who thinks it’s a massively kind gesture to pay half for her own ring setting due to a change of heart because she couldn’t even afford to pay fully for it.

Honestly I don’t think it’s 100% sentimentality that makes you want him to pay, as said by others. It’s clearly because as a student you can’t afford the extra cost and you’re forcing him to cough up most or all of the money. Your joint money pool is there probably because it’s a great way to dip your fingers in to purchase things beyond your means, while telling everyone that you both make purchase decisions together but him forking out at the very least 3/4 of the money.


Post # 89
2060 posts
Buzzing bee

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embarrassedbeebabe :  you should be embarrassed as your username suggests.

Have you no shame?

What do you not understand about the concept that you should foot the bill for your mistake? I don’t understand how you don’t get that being a student is not an excuse. It’s not his job to bail you out every time you make a costly mistake or change your mind on a whim. 

I will repeat it again: pay for your own mistake 

Post # 90
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

View original reply
embarrassedbeebabe :  agree with PPs, you should offer (and expect) to pay ALL the costs to any changes you make to your engagement ring. You have come across very entitled and suggesting you both split the cost (given the backstory) does not bode well for the long-term health of your relationship. 

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