(Closed) Wearing Ring or not if you are UPSET?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Would you leave your Precious at home if you are Upset with FI?

    YES, he must know im Upset and this is the way!

    NO, Precious has nothing to do

    Other: describe below

  • Post # 77
    Member
    1007 posts
    Bumble bee

    Honestly, if I were the guy in this scenario, this would be a huge red flag for me.  I would be seriously reconsidering spending my life with someone who would do something so immature and passive aggressive as leaving their ring at home just because we had a fight.  I’m really glad you were able to fight off the temptation to do this!

    Post # 78
    Member
    154 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    How would it make you feel if the roles were reversed and he took off HIS ring because you got home from girl-time a little later? I would tell my man to grow the ef up if something that petty is pissing him off enough to take his ring off, and he sure as heck would tell me the same!

    If it really bothers you that much, talk it out, don’t be so immature like that. Plus, Precious deserves to be worn and flaunted at all times!

    Post # 79
    Member
    2512 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    My…prreeccciiouuuss….

    Pretty ring; don’t get mad. : )

    Post # 80
    Member
    8679 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    View original reply
    @Woodstock:  +1000

    Post # 81
    Member
    6253 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I will sometimes take mine off if I am upset, but it’s not to send any kind of a message. More just because if I am really angry, every time I look at it it is a reminder of him and I will get even more angry.

    It probably sounds overly dramatic, but I would prefer it not be tainted with negative sentiment. I’d be surprised if he notices, honestly.

    Post # 82
    Member
    170 posts
    Blushing bee

    @forever_shine:  I think it is extremely immature as well as passive-aggressive to remove one’s ring every time a fight happens. The ring is a symbol of love and commitment. Just because a fight happens doesn’t mean you no longer love each other or are no longer committed to each other (hopefully). When a fight happens, real actual communication is what needs to happen.

     

    When I was 18 and much more immature, my then-boyfriend gave me a promise ring and I took it off every time we had a fight. I could see how much it hurt him, and I can’t imagine how much it would hurt me if someone did that to me…and that was only a promise ring! Also, like This Time Round said, it’s crying wolf. He will never know when something is truly wrong if you make such a dramatic gesture every time there’s a problem. My current SO and I have an agreement that when we have rings, we will never take them off out of anger.

     

    Post # 83
    Member
    62 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    View original reply
    @forever_shine:  Wow, it seems like some Bees took this off in one direction and just ran with it. I see it, more times than not, where people read comments from other people and just build off of that until they are so far from the actual topic that the need a GPS to get back.

    I think what a lot of people have completely overlooked is the fact that a sign of maturity is not acting on the immature impulses and thoughts, not never having them. People have immature thoughts (if you say you don’t you’re a liar or a saint), even if it is just wanting to curse at some stupid driver who cut you off, or mentally yelling at the person in the “carpool lane” with only one person with them. Having these internal “fights” with yourself is just blowing off some steam. The fact that you recognized that it would be inappropriate to leave the ring behind shows a great deal of maturity.

     

    Post # 84
    Member
    3051 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    I’ll admit I’ve taken my promise ring off out of anger before but even when I did it, I knew I was being stupid. You’re angry, you’re not calling the engagement off. Talk to your Fiance. I wouldn’t take my engagement ring off during a fight unless I wanted the engagement to be over.

     

    Post # 85
    Member
    1836 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    i haven’t read allthe other comments, but no there’s no way i would do that. super immature

    Post # 86
    Member
    1473 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @forever_shine:  

    “When you purposely make the choice to take off your ERing or your WBand, and NOT wear it for a spiteful / vengeful / manipulative reason. That is a very very serious statement” This Time Round )

    In my opinion, taking the ring off is a statement you would make when you are seriously considering ending the relationsip OR you have decided to end the relationship, remember the ring is a symbol of your committment.

    The committment should stand during good times and bad you know, like vows.
    Even if i’m mad at him I still absolutely love him and I would never want to send the message that our relationship’s durability is that conditional.

    ETA: Saw your updates…thinking is okay 🙂

    Post # 87
    Member
    360 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    Don’t use your marriage or your ring as a bargaining chip to win an argument, or prove a point, or let someone know you’re mad. 

    If you have decided to call off the engagement, take off the ring. If not, keep it on.

    Post # 88
    Member
    7362 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    View original reply
    @forever_shine:  Hot damn thats a pretty ring! Well if you ever want to take it off again, please post it to me 😉

     

    Post # 89
    Member
    566 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    A fleeting feeling is fine. I’ve had fleeting feelings of wanting to choke him…but I NEVER would, obviously. But I also wouldn’t take my ring off. The ring is a symbol of the lifetime committment. That doesn’t change just b/c I’m mad at him. If anything, when I’m mad I make sure to look at it and remind myself of my commitment to him and our marriage. Usually then I’m reminded that I do love him, I do want to spend my life with him, and whatever we’re fighting about is not worth it. 

    Post # 90
    Member
    503 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I would never. Of course I also usually give FH a hug and tell him I love before I explain to him that he’s pissed me off, just to make sure he doesnt worry that I’m so mad I’ll leave lol.

    Post # 91
    Member
    170 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    ok i must be completely immature because if my husband does something to really piss my off im taking that sucker off so he will know i am serious dont take me for granted – it doesnt mean i want a divorce i just want him to know he needs to do better

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