Post # 1
Some other posts got me thinking about this, but since I started wearing rings back when I was a fairly wee nipper, I’ve always considered both my ring finger and the same finger on my opposite hand as being the ideal front runners for ring-wearing, despite not being married or engaged. I’ve had a few questions over the years about whether I am engaged or not (mainly when I’ve worn a modest solitaire on my ring finger), but I didn’t think anything of it. However, I’ve heard that some people are positively against flouting this finger rule and even shake their heads at it, so I am wondering how others feel. Unless I was single and unwittingly deterring potential suitors with my ring-laden finger, I don’t see how it makes a difference. I personally just love rings, but only like them on that one finger on each hand (it’s terribly limiting even so, *sigh*). Right now I guess I’m definitely rocking the married look – I have an eternity ring stacked with a plain silver band that I made, all on my left finger (with more rings on my right hand). Is this bad?
Post # 3
I used to wear rings on whatever finger until I dated my now Fiance for 1.5 years and went out with friends with a ring on my left ring finger ($10 purple plastic stone). An obnoxious aquaintence made a huge fuss, “Are you ENGAGED?!?” It made me too self conscious to ever do again. I did wear a ring on that finger when I went out with just my girlfriends when Fiance and I were seriously dating. Oh, and when I went on trips without him.
People can wear rings however they want to, so long as they understand that certain fingers have certain traditional meanings.
Post # 4
I didn’t wear rings prior to getting my Engagement Ring. I’ve seen people wearing rings on that finger getting the awkward question of whether they are engaged or married. But to each its own.
Post # 5
When we were serious but not yet engaged we considered each other husband and wife so I bought a cheapo wedding set at Walmart for like $10 and wore it around. When I went on vacation with my family, even when my finger was turning green due to the salt water people believed I was married. So, it’s up to you, but I didn’t think anything of it if it was costume jewlery in high school, but when I became serious then it meant something to me.
Post # 6
Whatever floats your boat. Personally, I wouldn’t do it now because if I did everyone would assume I’m engaged, congratulate me, and then awkwardly find out I’m really not engaged. Yeah, not worth it. lol.
Post # 8
Hmm, that’s interesting. So you’re pretty much like me but you’re also more in touch with the symbolism, it seems. My boyfriend and I are actually in the stages of getting an actual engagement ring (in fact the ring’s been picked, it’s just up to him when he actually gets it), so maybe I should undress my left-hand ring finger in preparation and to make that day a bit more special. Hmm… yes, that is an idea… It would also be a bit weird to eventually get the engagement and be like “yoink, off you come, oldies,” before slipping the new one straight on. Gosh, you just watch: now all the younger students at my university will think I’m suddenly divorced (…and then later engaged to a new man? Sounds exciting).
Post # 9
I dont wear any rings on my left hand at all! Lol I used to but ever since I have been with my SO I have stopped. 1) when he puts a ring on it, I don’t want to have any other rings on at the time I think it looks ugly hahaha 2) for me personally, I feel like my left hand and finger are reserved for that special RIng. Now hey, I truly don’t give two you know whats what anyone else does w their hands, that’s just my own thing and reasons lol. Do what you do!!
Post # 10
I wore my promise ring on my left ring finger when my now-FI gave it to me like a year and a half ago, but I wouldn’t just wear any ol’ ring on that finger.
Edit: Oh, and during the time that I wore it, no one ever assumed or asked if I was engaged. Maybe it didn’t look enough like an engagement ring to assume so, or maybe they just didn’t notice/care.
Post # 11
I don’t wear my e-ring on my left hand ring finger, I wear it on my right hand ring finger because I like it there better. Does that make me any less engaged? No. I had a debate with my grandmother about it. She was like “Well, nobody will know you’re engaged.” to which I said “FI and I know, that’s the only people that matter.” Seriously, there are too many “rules”
Post # 12
I’ve worn all my rings on that finger ever since I started wearing rings when I was a little elementary school diva lol. It’s just the most comfortable and esthetically pleasing finger to me. One of my rings is on my middle finger a lot. Because it’s a bit to big for my ring finger so it feels more secure on my middle unless my fingers are a bit swollen. I say to each their own. I’ve only ever gotten a couple “are you engaged” questions. But almost everyone that has known me for more than three seconds knows that no way diamonds that small would be my engagement ring anyway *shrug*.
Post # 13
I think this can be influenced by both your personal tastes and the norm within your community. If it doesn’t matter to you, it doesn’t matter to me. Even if it is hampering/helping your lifestyle in some manner, it’s still your decision to make.
My Future Sister-In-Law really likes jewelry and was wearing a silver band on her left ring finger over the holiday. Now Future Sister-In-Law isn’t in a relationship and ring-finger checking is very common in our community (at least to my experience). For her, wearing the ring is doing a disservice to her hopes of having and maintaining a relationship, but I think she can wear it there if she wants to.
Since you aren’t at risk of deterring a potential suitor, I would say do as you please. If your current rings are worn regularly and have any fancy shape that leaves indentations in your finger, I would say give your finger some time to recover between ring sets. Other than that–your finger!
Post # 14
I don’t/wouldn’t do it. It seems almost decitful to me. Knowing the cultural significance and still purposely giving the wrong impression just doesn’t sit right with me.
Post # 15
you are only purposefully giving the wrong impression if that is your actual INTENT. not every ring looks like a standard engagement ring or wedding band. And even if it does maybe they just like the ring and like the finger. It’s not deceitful unless deceit is their intention. And even if it IS who says that’s a bad thing? Maybe wearing a fake wedding ring to work helps a woman detere unwanted sexual advances in a male dominated career? Where is the bad in that? Or maybe when they put a ring on that finger marriage doesnt even cross their mind because it just comes from years of habit. I can’t see a logical woman going, “wellive worn my rings on this finger since I was 10, but now that I’m 23 I should start wearing them on a different finger just in case some randome person takes it the wrong way.”
I still gotta go with “who cares” on this one.
P.s. I realize my comment might come across as harsh. Soooooo not my intent, just saying that “deceit” seems to be used a bit heavy handed here.
Post # 16
If you’re going with “who cares” why get heated? It is intentional to put a ring on a finger you know culturally implies marriage and commitment, regardless of whether or not you’re continuing the habits you had when you were 10. I would never bring it up to someone on the street, but the question was asked here and I answered with my opinion.