Wearing rings on *THAT* finger when you’re not engaged/married?

posted 6 years ago in Rings
  • poll: "I think wearing rings on *THAT* finger when you're not engaged/married..."
    "...should be legally punishable" : (12 votes)
    2 %
    "...is disrespectful to the institute of marriage" : (34 votes)
    5 %
    "...will confuse society" : (155 votes)
    21 %
    "...is quite sneaky" : (31 votes)
    4 %
    "...is a redundant issue because it doesn't really matter, HELLO" : (103 votes)
    14 %
    "...reflects a brave and admirable rejection of societal pressures" : (24 votes)
    3 %
    "...is the choice of whoever owns the finger" : (373 votes)
    51 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2106 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I used to wear rings on whatever finger until I dated my now Fiance for 1.5 years and went out with friends with a ring on my left ring finger ($10 purple plastic stone). An obnoxious aquaintence made a huge fuss, “Are you ENGAGED?!?” It made me too self conscious to ever do again. I did wear a ring on that finger when I went out with just my girlfriends when Fiance and I were seriously dating. Oh, and when I went on trips without him. 

    People can wear rings however they want to, so long as they understand that certain fingers have certain traditional meanings. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    1542 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I didn’t wear rings prior to getting my Engagement Ring. I’ve seen people wearing rings on that finger getting the awkward question of whether they are engaged or married. But to each its own.

    Post # 5
    Member
    520 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    When we were serious but not yet engaged we considered each other husband and wife so I bought a cheapo wedding set at Walmart for like $10 and wore it around. When I went on vacation with my family, even when my finger was turning green due to the salt water people believed I was married. So, it’s up to you, but I didn’t think anything of it if it was costume jewlery in high school, but when I became serious then it meant something to me. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    4478 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Whatever floats your boat.  Personally, I wouldn’t do it now because if I did everyone would assume I’m engaged, congratulate me, and then awkwardly find out I’m really not engaged.  Yeah, not worth it.  lol.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1133 posts
    Bumble bee

    I dont wear any rings on my left hand at all! Lol I used to but ever since I have been with my SO I have stopped. 1) when he puts a ring on it, I don’t want to have any other rings on at the time I think it looks ugly hahaha 2) for me personally, I feel like my left hand and finger are reserved for that special RIng. Now hey, I truly don’t give two you know whats what anyone else does w their hands, that’s just my own thing and reasons lol. Do what you do!!

    Post # 10
    Member
    2731 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I wore my promise ring on my left ring finger when my now-FI gave it to me like a year and a half ago, but I wouldn’t just wear any ol’ ring on that finger. 

    Edit: Oh, and during the time that I wore it, no one ever assumed or asked if I was engaged. Maybe it didn’t look enough like an engagement ring to assume so, or maybe they just didn’t notice/care.

    Post # 11
    Member
    939 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I don’t wear my e-ring on my left hand ring finger, I wear it on my right hand ring finger because I like it there better.  Does that make me any less engaged? No.  I had a debate with my grandmother about it.  She was like “Well, nobody will know you’re engaged.” to which I said “FI and I know, that’s the only people that matter.”  Seriously, there are too many “rules” 

    Post # 12
    Member
    1212 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’ve worn all my rings on that finger ever since I started wearing rings when I was a little elementary school diva lol. It’s just the most comfortable and esthetically pleasing finger to me. One of my rings is on my middle finger a lot. Because it’s a bit to big for my ring finger so it feels more secure on my middle unless my fingers are a bit swollen. I say to each their own. I’ve only ever gotten a couple “are you engaged” questions. But almost everyone that has known me for more than three seconds knows that no way diamonds that small would be my engagement ring anyway *shrug*.

    Post # 13
    Member
    120 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I think this can be influenced by both your personal tastes and the norm within your community. If it doesn’t matter to you, it doesn’t matter to me. Even if it is hampering/helping your lifestyle in some manner, it’s still your decision to make.

    My Future Sister-In-Law really likes jewelry and was wearing a silver band on her left ring finger over the holiday. Now Future Sister-In-Law isn’t in a relationship and ring-finger checking is very common in our community (at least to my experience). For her, wearing the ring is doing a disservice to her hopes of having and maintaining a relationship, but I think she can wear it there if she wants to.

    Since you aren’t at risk of deterring a potential suitor, I would say do as you please. If your current rings are worn regularly and have any fancy shape that leaves indentations in your finger, I would say give your finger some time to recover between ring sets. Other than that–your finger!

    Post # 14
    Member
    5668 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I don’t/wouldn’t do it. It seems almost decitful to me. Knowing the cultural significance and still purposely giving the wrong impression just doesn’t sit right with me.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1212 posts
    Bumble bee

    @Aure: you are only purposefully giving the wrong impression if that is your actual INTENT. not every ring looks like a standard engagement ring or wedding band. And even if it does maybe they just like the ring and like the finger. It’s not deceitful unless deceit is their intention. And even if it IS who says that’s a bad thing? Maybe wearing a fake wedding ring to work helps a woman detere unwanted sexual advances in a male dominated career? Where is the bad in that? Or maybe when they put a ring on that finger marriage doesnt even cross their mind because it just comes from years of habit. I can’t see a logical woman going, “wellive worn my rings on this finger since I was 10, but now that I’m 23 I should start wearing them on a different finger just in case some randome person takes it the wrong way.”   

    I still gotta go with “who cares” on this one.

     

    P.s. I realize my comment might come across as harsh. Soooooo not my intent, just saying that “deceit” seems to be used a bit heavy handed here.

    Post # 16
    Member
    5668 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @MrsGolden2Bee: If you’re going with “who cares” why get heated? It is intentional to put a ring on a finger you know culturally implies marriage and commitment, regardless of whether or not you’re continuing the habits you had when you were 10. I would never bring it up to someone on the street, but the question was asked here and I answered with my opinion.

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