(Closed) Wearing rings on *THAT* finger when you’re not engaged/married?

posted 9 years ago in Rings
  • poll: "I think wearing rings on *THAT* finger when you're not engaged/married..."

    "...should be legally punishable"

    "...is disrespectful to the institute of marriage"

    "...will confuse society"

    "...is quite sneaky"

    "...is a redundant issue because it doesn't really matter, HELLO"

    "...reflects a brave and admirable rejection of societal pressures"

    "...is the choice of whoever owns the finger"

  • Post # 92
    Member
    2142 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    When I was younger, in high school, I wore rings on my left ring finger quite often, because that’s where all my rings fit most comfortably (I hate having them on the right when I’m writing) and I figured since I was young no one would assume I was engaged so it didn’t matter.

    Now I do it occasionally because it makes me feel engaged lol.

    Post # 93
    Member
    100 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Here it’s bad luck to wear a ring on that finger if you’re not engaged. It means you’ll never get married supposedly.lol

    Post # 94
    Member
    1114 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I have 2 rings that I wear all the time, one fits on my middle finger, the other on my ring finger, and they fit on either hand. I usually wear the middle finger one on my left hand and my ring finger one on my right hand. I don’t like wearing them on the same hand. I don’t know why, but the middle finger one started giving me a rash recently (I’ve been wearing it for 9 years with no problems), even painting the inside with clear nail polish didn’t help. So I took it off, and switched my other ring to my left hand because if I’m only wearing one ring I prefer it on my left hand, probably because I’m right handed and rings can sometimes pinch on my right hand. We went on vacation with BF’s brother at the time and he apparently asked Boyfriend or Best Friend if there was something he needed to know. My ring doesn’t really look like an engagement ring. 

    Post # 95
    Member
    1082 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    The only ring I wore on the finger was the promise ring that Fiance got me the Valentines day six months before we got engaged in Aug. He told me it was a promise ring to get engaged, Im going to have it in my bouquet at the wedding. 🙂

    Post # 95
    Member
    1 posts
    Wannabee

    View original reply
    MrsGolden2Bee:  I agree with you on this one.  I get so many unwanted advances from men that I don’t know because I am a petite young woman that I have trouble wanting to go out into public sometimes.  I have a boyfriend and I told him that the ring is kind of independent of us but does let people know I am committed.  It is a flat 4 mm band that no one is wise to unless they are conversing at length with me regarding my marital status.  It looks like I am married and I’m not.  I have a 7 year old daughter and would not dare entertain every single “suitor” that checks out my body parts.

    Post # 96
    Member
    1709 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2016 - Garden

    When I didn’t have a boyfriend   I always used to wear one on my left finger. But when I did start dating I took it off but eventually found its way back on my left finger again.

    It’s hard though because when you do see that ring on your finger you’ll start to get emotional about the whole marriage thing and you want it to happen one day. When I was wearing a fake CZ ring in my finger I was only kidding myself thinking of getting married some day then ill start to fantasize about my big day and get a little depressed over the situation…. Because of not having anyone or wanting to be married so bad. Why torture yourself?? 

    But now that its happening hhaha!! I’ve been dating Fiance for two years now. Has going to propose to me next week and I’m like freaking out!!! ( I have my sourses…..of how I know ) 

    Post # 97
    Member
    3030 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    I don’t really feel any sort of way about it. I’m not the type of person to notice something of someone’s finger and then proceed to congratulate them without having them announce to me themselves.

    I don’t really wear rings. There’s one ring my fiance gave me to but it was too large anyhow so I mainly wore it on my index finger.

    However, I like to play with rings a lot out of habit while at waiting in lines, at the doctors, in class, etc…so a lot of times I’d twist them and switch them to a different finger…sometimes they’d end up on “that finger” lol. No one ever made an assumption.

    However, being in school and going through several semesters and having awkward approaches by men at school…a lot of times I would wear one of the rings I had on that finger which, going into this semester, I’ve noticed has saved me from having to do the awkward [insert conversation topic about being in a relationship].

    Post # 98
    Member
    44 posts
    Newbee

    Perhaps my situation is a bit different and not covered by any choices in the poll, but my engagement was recently and painfully broken. It was for the best though, as former Fiance  was very controlling and irrationally jealous with abusive tendencies   I don’t wear my engagement ring any longer, but I did buy a “promise ring” for myself, as part of the grieving /healing process(also recommended by my therapist).  I wear it on  “that” finger  to remind me to never allow myself to be disrespected, abused, or become reliant upon a man or anyone who mistreats me ever again.  A promise to take care of myself and my children, and patiently wait for a guy who will love me,  and wouldn’t ever hurt me. I’ve occasionally switched it out with rings my kids have given me, but this one has very special meaning to me, and I plan only to replace it one day with a real engagement ring from someone who truly loves and respects me.  Here it is. Sorry in advance if I sound like a “Debbie Downer”, I’m still pretty sad and raw.  I’m not taking things well at all.  Damn holidays, lol!

    Post # 99
    Member
    4238 posts
    Honey bee

    View original reply
    luckyladylaterinlife355:  

    I also got a promise ring for myself after a break up. It was a great reminder to myself on sad days that I was worth it. Great minds think alike!

    Bling!

    Post # 100
    Member
    4238 posts
    Honey bee

    View original reply
    princessbee1991:  

    Don’t freak out. Just try to enjoy the journey!

    Post # 101
    Member
    44 posts
    Newbee

    View original reply
    NFLwidow:  🙂 that made me smile , thanks for that!  It’s been a really long sad day! My birthday is tomorrow, and I’ve big l ways been a  a big kid when it comes to my birthday, lol. ..we’d celebrate my ” birthweek”, where he would give me little things all week leading up to the day of , and then give me my real present.  Some of the few times I really felt special, smh! So of course, it was last November, around this time, we got 2nd engaged. …:,-)think I’m gonna head to bed now.  

     

    Post # 102
    Member
    373 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    I wore a ring my grandma had left for me before she died (somehow she knew I was going to be conceived, and I was 5 months after her death) From the time I was 14-15 until the day I got engaged on that finger.  Never took it off except to replace the stone for my 21st birthday. It’s still my most prized possession. 

    Post # 103
    Member
    835 posts
    Busy bee

    this girl came into my diner with her bf with a cluster oval ring, on her left hand ring finger, which i complimented. i recently got engaged myself so i was super excited about rings and engagement. So I said “congrats guys!! I just got enaged too!”

    and they both got super awkward and she goes “no its a promise ring..”

    and I go “oh….” that was it. 

    Do I think its stupid to have promise rings? fuck yes. Do I think its stupid to wear rings on the ering finger when you arent engaged and get awks bc people assume you are engaged? fuck yes.

     

    but its your finger, your life, do whatever you want. 

    Post # 104
    Member
    44 posts
    Newbee

    View original reply
    elephantear:  my “promise” ring is a bit different than your conventional  promise ring that possibly a young woman /girl might wear prior to actually being engaged,  which there are varying opinions about here on the bee. People actually wear them for varying reasons such as a promise of purity/chastity,. I think if it’s special and has meaning or significance to a person,  than no one else should care if or where you choose to wear it,  or to call it stupid. Traditions are different for everyone, and people start new ones all the time,  anyway, that said,  stupid as fuck or not,  the people whose opinion I actually care about know what it is, and why it’s there, and anyone else who makes assumptions about me based on my jewelry, or anything else I wear is free to do so,  but I’m free as well, not to care. It takes real courage to leave and not go back to an abusive relationship, and my promise ring reminds me of that promise I made to myself and my children, each time I look at it, and gives me a modicum of comfort.  Different strokes, I guess.  

    Post # 105
    Member
    2624 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull

    I was always told it was bad luck to wear a ring on your left hand ring finger if it is not an engagement ring. I wore rings on my other hand because I was very superstitious growing up and the old wive’s tale was that you would never get married if you wore a ring on your engagement ring finger. 

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