(Closed) Wearing rings on *THAT* finger when you’re not engaged/married?

posted 9 years ago in Rings
  • poll: "I think wearing rings on *THAT* finger when you're not engaged/married..."

    "...should be legally punishable"

    "...is disrespectful to the institute of marriage"

    "...will confuse society"

    "...is quite sneaky"

    "...is a redundant issue because it doesn't really matter, HELLO"

    "...reflects a brave and admirable rejection of societal pressures"

    "...is the choice of whoever owns the finger"

  • Post # 106
    Member
    1433 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    I wore a ring on my ring finger from the age of around 13 till I got engaged. It was my mum’s ring. We had a very poor relationship which I’m very sad about but I still wanted to wear it because it was hers and I love her regardless of what issues we have had. The ring was a cheap one, the prongs were wearing down and the one time I asked a jeweller if it would be possible to resize it for another finger I was told no. So my ring finger was the only one it would fit on (my left ring finger is thinner than my right finger for some reason haha). I hadn’t even thought about it when I first started wearing it as a teen. It didn’t look like an engagement ring and that’s the hand I kept it on till I got engaged. I have only ever been asked once if I was engaged years ago at a supermarket by a photographer, I think she was trying to get a job out of me haha. No one else asked I don’t think (maybe because it didn’t look like an engagement ring). I do remember when I first met my Fiance I realised it could look like I was engaged and I mentioned the ring to him. I think he said he wouldn’t have even thought about it. The ring is quite clearly damaged (bent all around) and the stone wasn’t sitting in the setting straight which also added to it not looking very engagement ring-y.

    I haven’t read the whole thread but deceit was mentioned on the first page. That definitely wasn’t my intention. I just loved the ring because it was my mum’s and it didn’t fit on another finger. I’d never even thought it would look like an engagement ring till the photographer asked and I thought about it when I met Fiance. I also think rings just look nice on the ring finger (on either hand).

    Post # 107
    Member
    230 posts
    Helper bee

    Meh, I wear a moissy solitaire on my right ring finger and get asked if I’m engaged frequently (weekly, I’d say – working in a hospital, new people each week!).. Ive certainly switched it to my left ring finger if I’ve been out and uncomfortable (or if travelling alone), my SO doesn’t care in the slightest.. To each their own, I suppose! 

    Post # 108
    Member
    1306 posts
    Bumble bee

    Eh, I don’t think anything of it.  I would find it odd to wear a wedding set on my ring finger if not married, however before I was engaged/married I often wore rings on that finger because it was the only finger the ring fit!  My right hand is almost 3/4 of a size bigger than my left ring finger. I inherited several rings from family members who have passed and often had to wear them either on my left ring finger or even my pinky finger on my right hand.

    Now that I’m married I’ll probably drag my feet to get these rings resized to wear on other hands, but I don’t find it odd at all.

    Wedding rings are a personal choice and I actually know a lot of people who don’t wear theirs at all (including my husband, mostly due to his profession but we both often forget our rings).  I often wear my band on my right hand when I am cold so it doesn’t go flying off my left.

    It’s a piece of jewelry.  No big deal.

    Also, if someone is wearing an e-ring, chances are I know if they are engaged or not.  If I don’t know, I don’t know them that well, and it’s really not any of my business.  I inherited my stepmothers e-ring and wore it on my right hand for a few years, and periodically on my left middle finger (depending how cold/swollen I was!) and I think I only had a few people ask me about it.  

    Post # 109
    Member
    9576 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I have a friend who does this because she has a baby with her boyfriend and is self concious about not being married/engaged. Honestly I feel bad for her… 

    Post # 110
    Member
    1054 posts
    Bumble bee

     

    I say who cares. I wore a birthstone ring on my ring finger for a long time before I got engaged and no one ever thought it was an e-ring to my knowledge. I actually got asked more when I wore a topaz on my middle finger (still only happened like 2x) It didn’t look like an e-ring, but neither do some peoples e-rings. I think it’s crazy to care what other people do with their fingers. 

    Post # 111
    Member
    1651 posts
    Bumble bee

    Keep them thinking.. let them assume. Its your finger, do what you want with it. If it bothers them that much then hold your hand up proudly and “give them the finger” 

    Post # 112
    Member
    1131 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    View original reply
    Jezika:  I didn’t even know this was an issue.  I wore rings on my E-Finger even before my DH and I got engaged.  I wore my promise ring for years and never got asked if I was engaged or married.

    Post # 113
    Member
    835 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    luckyladylaterinlife355:  i feel like i read your post on your promise ring before and i i think i told u that as much as think promise rings (between a couple) are stupid, yours is actually a great promise to yourself. But EVEN if i didnt care for all promise rings (not true, i like that people have claimed promise rings for personal promises), my statement still holds true = your finger, your life, do what you want. 

    Not everyone will like or support everything in someones life, but who cares? I get confused when ppl wear rings on their ring finger and im sure i contribute to ppl asking about engagement, thats not my problem tho, its something the ring wearer will deal with. It really doesnt matter what i think to the ring wearer. I think its the dumbest thing when a man gives his woman a promise ring, but i dont have to wear it, i can still think its stupid and that girl can still wear her ring However she pleases.

    thats freedom. 

     

    Post # 114
    Member
    2342 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I usually wore my heirloom sapphire and diamond ring on my left hand before I got engaged because I’m right handed and it made sense to wear the sapphire particularly, on the hand I was least likely to knock. It’s now been demoted to my right hand as I find I’m sentimentally attached to wearing my engagement ring on the traditional hand, – totally irrational. 

    I wouldn’t assume a left hand ring is an engagement ring but I would assume a plain band on the left hand indicated marriage. I wouldn’t feel deceived or bothered if I found out that was an error on my part though, and the person wore it as an inherited piece for example. 

    Post # 115
    Member
    55 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    I wore a purity ring on my ring finger until I was engaged. 

    Post # 116
    Member
    672 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2020

    i used to wear my class ring on that finger, b/c it only fit there or on my right, and on my right finger, i had a promise-type ring. the class ring is pretty manly with a bright red stone, yet i was still asked once if i was engaged (and i was still in h.s.).  i think it doesn’t matter at all

    Post # 117
    Member
    1724 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    Once I was old enough to know where you wore your wedding ring (left ring finger in US, I think it may differ in other countries?), I never wore on there.  I had some fun rings, like pretty beach-shop mood rings and sea shell rings I’d wear on my right hand, until people from other countries started complimenting my “unconventional wedding ring.”  Since I was at a point where Waiting was quite painful, I stopped wearing rings all together because I didn’t want to have to tell people I was neither married nor engaged, and wanted it obvious for those who DID look to check.  

    Post # 118
    Member
    544 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - Not sure

    Funny you ask this. I got this mouse ring in the mail as a decoration when I bought vegan makeup. The only finger it fit on was my “forbidden finger”, so I wore it on that finger a few times. My Fiance knew how badly I wanted to marry him, but I was not yet engaged to him. For some reason, I didn’t feel right wearing the ring, so it was a seldom thing. Funnier thing, he found the mouse ring in the bathroom drawer and he actually used it to figure out the size if my antique engagement ring! Lol! And now, the engagement ring is slightly too big, so the silly mouse ring is holding my ring on for me 😁

    Post # 119
    Member
    528 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2016 - Long Island, NY

    I know someone who wears a gemstone ring on her left ring finger, and I find it strange… we’re at the age where people are getting engaged, and married.. when I met her, I assumed she was engaged and actually made a comment about how beautiful the stone was in her engagement ring and she corrected me as though it was something that happened to her all the time. She has a serious boyfriend, so it’s not a stretch… I just don’t know why she would want to continually explain that she isn’t engaged to him when it would be simple to use a different finger. 

    No one else I know, besides my high school age students, wears a ring on that finger if they are not engaged/married. 

    Post # 120
    Member
    2319 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I used to wear rings on that finger since I was very young. Culturally we do not wear wedding rings in my culture so it didn’t really matter which finger it was.

    Even now, I wear my wedding band flipping between both hands. (DH’s culture has wedding bands.) I do that because I don’t want tan lines. And also when I’m cooking stuff for which reason I may need my left hand a lot (I’m a lefty!), then instead of taking the band off I just switch the hands.

    My fingers, my ring = my choice!

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