(Closed) Wearing White or Ivory at the wedding when youre NOT the bride

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do you think it's okay to wear White or Ivory if youre not the bride?

    Sure, why not?

    No way!

    Other (please describe)

  • Post # 3
    2152 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    No. It’s not even a point of discussion in my books – there is no controversy (or at least there shouldn’t be) – NO ONE wears white but the bride.

    I haven’t heard the no-red rule, but a lot of asian brides wear red so perhaps it comes stems from there?

    Post # 4
    1348 posts
    Bumble bee

    If the bride was going to be wearing a color say black or red, why not? Especially if everyone is aware of it. Just not a bridal dress- like a white sun dress would be fine. I wouldn’t mind if I have an actual wedding as I’ll be wearing gray most likely.

    Post # 5
    893 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @80sbee:  Umm, unless the theme is white and black, I would not dare wear white or ivory if I’m not the bride.

    Post # 6
    173 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I say definitely not, but I just wanted to throw this out there (which might make me sound like an idiot), but it had never occurred to me, nor had I ever heard it mentioned that you shouldn’t wear white to a wedding until like 2 years ago.  After I heard it, it immediately made sense, but I just wanted to throw it out there that some people seriously might not know.

    Post # 7
    2194 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    This has been discussed a lot lately. I would never wear a WHITE DRESS to a wedding…but I do have a dress that I really want to wear again that’s black and white, with a lot of white…

    Sorry to jack this thread, but is this dress in appropriate?

    sorry it’s so blurry!

    Post # 8
    651 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    View original reply
    @pinkandsparkly:  I think tat would be OK. It’s not really white:D

    Post # 9
    3324 posts
    Sugar bee

    I said its fine. I wouldn’t wear it to anyone elses wedding but I could have cared less if someone wore it to mine. As long as its not a bridal gown of course.

    Post # 10
    1488 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I think a dress with some white or some ivory in it is fine, but NOT an all white dress. I just attended a wedding where a guest wore a teeny tiny short white dress. She got made fun of the whole night. I kind of felt bad for her, but I think she was looking for attention and she got it, just not in a good way.

    Post # 11
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I think the guests can wear any color they want, with the exception of white/ivory unless they know the bride doesn’t care. I’ve seen a lot of blogs lately w/ the bridesmaids wearing off-white and I think that looks really cool.

    Post # 12
    6414 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I voted ‘other’. I personally have no issues with any of my guests wearing white/ivory. Everyone knows I’m the bride, I’m the one getting married and I’m the one in the floor-length lace dress with train and veil… kind of hard to get confused because a guest is wearing a white cotton maxi-dress. Now, if someone wore an actual wedding dress, that would be different; but even then, I’d just think they were an idiot, as would most of the other guests, and they’d likely be the subject of ridicule.

    So really, I think it depends on the bride; I personally don’t care what colours my guests wear, as long as they look fairly smart (I don’t mind evening guests wearing jeans, but would hope that my day guests will wear smart trousers/shirts/dresses).

    That said, I personally would not ever wear ivory to a wedding, as I know that some brides would take offence, and wouldn’t want to chance it.

    Post # 13
    1755 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I’d say it depends on the type of dress worn.  In the Steve Martin Father of the Bride film, the mother wears a short ivory dress and jacket that’s elegant, appropriate and in no way steals the bride’s thunder.  Here’s a pic, although it’s not too great quality and doesn’t show off the pretty beading.



    On the other hand, I think that a long white or ivory dress that looks bridal is way inappropriate.

    Post # 14
    5842 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I would never ever wear white/ivory to a wedding (I also never wear black). I just think its a terrible reflection on you if you are thoughtless enough to risk upsetting the bride by wearing white.

    That said, my godmother wore white to my wedding and I did not care at all. I still don’t know wtf she was thinking but it didn’t upset me on the wedding day.

    Post # 15
    1828 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    I agree that dresses with white IN them are okay, like a print on top of a white background, or a white and *insert color here* dress.

    Also, I don’t think anybody should be wearing anything that resembles a bridal gown, regardless of color! The only person that can wear tulle is the bride lol

    Post # 16
    1012 posts
    Bumble bee

    I wouldn’t wear an all white dress.  But a dress with some white in it is fine.  

    Honestly i couldnt care less if someone did anyway.  As long as they’re not wearing a wedding dress what does it matteR?

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