Wearing white to a wedding..?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Royal Park Hotel

VictorianChick:  Eh- I don’t think it’s a matter of men not getting it.  I think it’s a matter of men knowing that what someone else wears to a wedding isn’t your business and not worth caring about.


Post # 17
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Yes and no. Which is what I hate to say. 

White with pretty big blue flowers all over it – okay! 

Solid white – no! 

I get that no one is going to upstage the bride (on most cases) but DON’T WEAR WHITE! It’s just rude, and poor etiquette. No one wears white … no one. It’s not the fashion. You have to actively go FIND a solid white dress… for a wedding?!?!! There is no shop in the world I know that if you walked into it and said “Oh, I need a dress for a wedding”, they would show you a white dress.

What you’re doing is a concious choice. Stop it.  

Post # 18
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Mt Future Mother-In-Law bought an off white dress for our wedding. Luckily she showed it to me. I made Fiance tell her to return it.

Post # 20
2357 posts
Buzzing bee

Derp:  Well, whateves, but this mother of the bride was obviously doing it for attention the way she presented herself and moved about the room making sure all eyes were on here. She was loud as well so people HAD to notice her. It was tasteless. If you dont agree so be it, but she was obviously trying to prove something.

I felt sorry for her poor daughter who gave her mother a few looks here and there.

Post # 21
507 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

My mom just went to a wedding and wore a white dress with black piping on it. I told her I thought it was inappropriate but she wore it anyways!!!

Post # 22
2878 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Thrburko89: white is very in for summer, actually. i actually had to go out of my way to look for a dress that isn’t white for a day wedding. It was really stressing me out. 

julesbeeb: the black piping makes it ok in my book. 

White or off white being off limits is fine but the trend of blush and champagne wedding dresses should die because it takes two additional lightweight colors off the list for guests, especially for day weddings. 

Post # 23
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Traditionally, guests should not wear white to a wedding. I personally think that rule is silly. One shouldn’t wear a wedding gown as a guest, but I don’t see the harm in wearing a short white sundress or cocktail dress. Everyone is going to know who the bride is!

Post # 24
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Thats so rude!  I recently went to a wedding where the brides aunt was wearing a beach cover up dress and her daughters were wearing white dresses with floral headpieces…. And they weren’t flower girls!  A lot of people looked at them strange. To each their own, but I would never!

Post # 25
6945 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

julesbeeb:  My brother had a small wedding at a vineyard with a more rustic theme. It wasn’t super formal, yet our stepmom wore a white sundress with a denim jacket. Not even kidding. I love her dearly, but it was just not appropriate. I even gently mentioned my concern when she showed it to me, but she wore it anyway. Luckily, my SIL’s family is about as un-etiquette as they come so she wasn’t offended.

I just don’t get people who can’t dress themselves for any social situation, regardless of color of clothing. At my wedding the wife of one of DH’s friends wore a skin tight black lacy mini-dress with giant hooker heels. No one could stop talking about it, even after the wedding. She wasn’t a young girl either, she was a late 40’s woman. I guess I just don’t understand where people get these ideas that it’s okay to look like you’re working a corner or going to a club when you attend someone’s wedding? 

Post # 26
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I would never wear any shade of white to a wedding whether or not it resembeled a bridal gown.  Last summer, Fiance and I went to his cousin’s wedding and a family friend of the bride’s family wore a knee-length lace/white dress.  It was a pretty causual wedding and no one would’ve confused her with the bride, but it was still tacky. 

Post # 27
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I have to say I am pretty mortified… I had no idea about this rule… at my cousin’s wedding (I was 22 years old here) I wore a beige dress with white polka dots. Now I know that’s not like a bridal dress and it’s not solid white, but I feel so bad now. I had no idea that you weren’t supposed to wear white, that it was an ettiquette rule. No one had ever told me (come on, mom and dad!) . Fortunately I was smart enough not to wear a white and/or lace dress but it never occurred to me with my dress. My cousin never said anything to me but I still feel bad to this day!

Post # 28
42 posts

NO! It is not okay!!!! Ever!

Post # 29
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

bitsybee:  I guess we live in the only places where white dresses are all one can find this summer!  LOL  (Honestly, even in my backwater of civilization at least 50-60% of the sundresses/summer cocktail dresses on offer are white and/or lacy.) 

For me, whether or not to side-eye someone (and it should never be more than that–an actual confrontation would be so unbecoming) for wearing white at a wedding is all about context.  Yeah, I’m sure I’d make a gentle joke to those I was near and dear with at the expense of any guest who showed up in a wedding dress, because that’s being an attention, er, seeker.  However, I would argue that anyone who gets upset at their 22 year old cousin who is wearing a white sundress and thinks that she’s trying to upstage or steal the spotlight or whatever needs professional help.

Post # 30
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I could understand wearing champagne or a light pink dress, but not white or ivory. To me it’s tacky. Everyone should know that it is the bride’s day to wear white.

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