(Closed) wearing white to a wedding? options please!

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
1955 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

If it was an all-white dress, then I would understand your hesitation but are you really going to be bothered by a black and white dress?? I mean, unless it’s an all-white dress with just a black sash or something, I think it would be kind of Bridezilla to tell her no…She’s probably just trying to be considerate and make sure you have the best wedding day possible, I don’t think there’s any reason to be upset and personally, I’d be really annoyed if I was her and you said “no” to the dress…

Post # 18
9 posts
  • Wedding: July 2011

I personally wouldn’t care if somebody wore white to my wedding. Most people wouldn’t notice.

I understand that for some though, this is a big deal. She was respectful enough to tell you and ask what you think. I would either tell her that you aren’t comfortable with it, or at least ask her to send you a picture to know how white it actually is.

Post # 19
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

a bit white is fine, but not too much. if you are not comfortable with this, tell her. She should be able to understand because it is your day!

Post # 20
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I wore a white and black dress before. It looked FAR from a gown so I didn’t care. If it was satin or lacey then I can see the problem. I’m more afraid of wearing a dress the same colour as the bridesmaid. Then I look like i’m trying to be in the wedding party but wasn’t cool enough to make it. 

Post # 21
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

From your initial post, I can see why you might be bothered because she says ‘it’s on the whiter side.’  After thinking about it I think I would have to ask for a picture.  I googled some black and white dresses and found some that were on the whiter side.  I personally would not be bothered if a guest came in something like this.

ETA:  I guess when it came to my wedding I was more concerned about other things so I really didn’t have time to look at what my guests were wearing.  I was laid back and really enjoyed my day. My mother did wear a ivory dress to the ceremony but I think someone told me that it’s a tradition in my culture for the mother of the bride to somewhat match her daughter.  I think I was surprised for about 5 secs and then got over it. I’m sure some of guests probably thought it was a faux pas. Ehh, whatever.

Post # 22
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Franciscan Gardens

I feel like, in the big scheme of things- a dress with some white on it really isn’t going to make or break your day! I’m going to try my hardest to be as zen as possible and just remember that the day is really about marrying the man of my dreams- and just remember, everyone’s eyes will be on you- you’re the beautiful bride!

Post # 23
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Looking back at it, I can’t remember what anybody wore. I was too fixated on how awesome the day was! I’m sure i’d remember if somebody was wearing a faux bridal gown though!

Post # 24
338 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I probably wouldn’t care unless it was a full-on wedding dress. I mean, no one’s going to mistake her for the bride.  Then again, I once wore a white sundress with lots of blue embroidery and a blue cardigan to a boyfriend’s brother’s wedding (with the bride’s permission, of course). Her reasoning was the same as mine.

Post # 25
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think it’s very considerate of her to ask you, and I wouldn’t worry about it at all. Nobody is going to mistake her for the bride, and unless someone is wearing a fully white dress, I think the rule about absolutely no white is outdated. One of my friends wore a dress that was completely white on top, but brightly colored/patterned on the bottom. All I can remember thinking on the day of was that it was a cute party dress. Nobody was mistaking her for the bride, and I thought the dress was perfectly appropriate. Don’t let the small things bother you! Not worth it.

Post # 26
7693 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think its fine for her to wear the dress. A black and white dress doesnt seem like that big of a deal. Honestly, we had several people who wore white but it didnt bother me in the least bit. None of them looked as good (and bride like) as I did! They were all just short white sundresses and I thought they looked cute on my guests!

Post # 27
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I know I am in the minority on this, but I don’t think wearing a mostly white dress (or even all white as long as its a cocktail dress) to a wedding is a big deal.  It wouldn’t bother me at all since I’m sure it would clearly look like a cocktail dress and not a wedding dress, but I know that this is a hot topic for a lot of people and a lot of brides would be offended by it. If it is something that is really going to bug you, just nicely thank her for asking and tell her that you would actually prefer if she wore something without white in it.

Post # 28
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I’m not sure if it would bother me, but I think that it is etiquette to not wear white to someone elses wedding. I think I’d need to see the dress to make a good call, but to be safe, I’d ask her to wear another one. She seems very open to it, and it seems like she’d understand. After all…..you’re the bride! 

Like some PPs- I’m not sure if you’d notice because you’re going to be so enveloped in everything else. Your call!

Post # 29
903 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I think it was sweet of her to ask (obviously she’s not trying to upstage you or anything). I’d ask for a picture if you’re really worried, but unless your wedding dress happens to be black and white, too, no one will notice and it’ll be fine.

Post # 30
3218 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I wouldn’t mind! in fact I’m hoping for a summer wedding so if I get some cream sundreses or whites, it’ll look nice!

Post # 31
3620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

If it’s something like these:

I don’t think it’s appropriate – especially because even if the BRIDE doesn’t mind, you know that people will make snarky comments and maybe she’d even feel uncomfortable!

If it was something like this:

no big deal..

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