Post # 1
So I finally have a place to rant about this! In short Dh’s best mans fiancé turned up to our small wedding in a white lacey dress, 2 years on I’m still annoyed haha. We were at their wedding last weekend and I was soooo tempted to wear white, I didn’t, she also had the same enterance music and table decoration! Cheeky!
So, would you wear white to someone else’s wedding? Without asking them first?
Post # 2
I wouldn’t wear white because I think it makes you as a guest seem clueless. That’s the one wedding rule that people who know nothing about weddings know.
Post # 3
caitlynrenee: Totally agree. It might make the bride upset, but everyone would be on the bride’s side. The guest would just look bad.
Post # 4
I would never wear white to someone else’s wedding. That said, I wouldn’t have cared at all if someone chose to wear white to mine.
Post # 5
How clueless of her, but you likely outshined her anyway.
I would be so flattered if people copied elements of my wedding in their own!
Post # 6
My aunt wore a white dress to my wedding, I didn’t even notice it. She even read a reading.
Post # 7
Ugh! That shows someone’s true narcissistic colors. Good for you on not returning the same disgrace.
Post # 8
DH’s Aunt wore white to our wedding. I wouldn’t have noticed if she hadn’t come up to me and said “I hope you don’t mind that I’m wearing white – my friends said that it would be ok since I’m wearing a pink shawl!” It was a hot day in Oklahoma and she’s from Minneapolis – the shawl didn’t last long.
I thought it was kind of ridiculous of her, but I wasn’t offended.
Post # 9
I may have sounded a little dramatic in my original post haha. It wasn’t really a big deal, just very odd! Something I personally wouldn’t do.
I was flattered about the table decorations not so much about the music but hey I don’t own that piece of music!
Post # 10
To put it plainly, it makes you look like a real knobhead.
Post # 11
I’m more lax about it. If the only nice dress you have is white-ish, I don’t see the point in buying a new one. Also, I’ve seen brides get upset at more than just WHITE. Now champagne, or white with prints are upsetting to some *eyeroll*. At the end of the day, no one is going to forget who the bride is. I don’t see it as a big deal, definitely not something to be pissed about 2 years later.
Post # 12
Honestly, for me it’s not about the color so much as it’s about the style. I guess the way I’d put it is white is not the problem in and of itself; “bridal” is the problem. A crisp, belted, white sheath that looks at home at the office or a cream pantsuit isn’t really a big deal to me.
Emily Post supports me on this; however, she is kind of rogueish in the etiquette world: http://emilypost.com/2015/06/what-not-to-wear-can-a-woman-wear-a-white-suit-to-a-wedding/ ; Here’s a more fashion-y take on the matter (also referencing Post): http://www.refinery29.com/how-to-wear-white-to-wedding
But there’s etiquette and then there’s cultural expectation. I’ve never actually worn white to a wedding generally because I don’t like the idea of everyone gasping and pointing! 😉
ETA–Oh wait! Strike that! I suppose I did (maybe) wear white to a wedding once? I wore separates–black silk pants, plain pale mint green blouse, and a little cropped jacket that was ivory and embroidered (think kind of like damask maybe?); jade jewelry. Honestly? I’d never look at the jacket and think, “Oh, that’s gonna ‘upstage’ the bride” and I doubt the ensemble as a whole looked remotely inappropriate!
Post # 13
mrsohara: I feel your pain. A close family friend’s 17 year old daughter wore white to our rehearsal dinner AND a white lacey dress to our wedding the next day. I would never do it.
Post # 14
BothCoasts: Absolutely! Unfortunately the dress in question made her appear as though she was part of the bridal party.
Post # 15
I had a girl wear a white all lace dress to my wedding three years ago. It definitely was noticed by me and a few other people, and I did think about wearing white to her wedding this summer, but I decided making myself look bad to a room full of strangers wasn’t worth it. Funny enough, every wedding I’ve attended since has included multiple guests wearing all white dresses. I think people are a little more clueless than we realize when it comes to wedding etiquette!