(Closed) wearing white/cream to someone else’s wedding

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What do you think about girls who wear white/cream to a wedding other than their own?
    awful! only the bride should wear white! : (151 votes)
    81 %
    it's fine, you can wear whatever you want wherever you want! : (7 votes)
    4 %
    i don't care either way! : (17 votes)
    9 %
    other - please explain! : (11 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 29
    Member
    5110 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2011

    This is never ok!!! IMO at least. 

    Post # 30
    Member
    606 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I dont think its ok to wear all white or all cream to a wedding.  To my vow renewal I would not mind at all if someone showed up in all white or cream but I’m pretty easy going.

    Post # 31
    Member
    1692 posts
    Bumble bee

    You may have noticed that I have rather old-fashioned standards of style and etiquette. You won’t have noticed (so you’ll just have to take my word for it) that I’m a bossy conniving old tartar who does everything in my power to perpetuate those standards into my younger relatives.

    As little as fifty years ago, a white dress was the normal sunday-best dress for girls in any formal situation. It is simple, not inappropriately eye-catching, fresh, innocent. Some of my nieces have had plain white Sunday-best from time to time, and now that they are mothers I encourage them to follow the same old-fashioned standard, so it’s unsurprising for family weddings to include a number of simply-dressed sweetly feminine little white-clad maidens. But they hardly look “bridal”: they are little girls. Of course, by traditional rules, women are also supposed to dress in pale colours to avoid giving the wedding a somber look, and there are usually lots of pale greens and pinks and yellows about on the grown women; even champagnes and beiges — but they don’t really look “bridal” either.

    By the same old-fashioned standard, family brides tend to be a little more restrained in the “big white dress” department; reserving ball-gowns for actual balls and choosing something more reminiscent of the restrained elegance appropriate to garden parties, legal procedings, and church services. Some how, the fact that their dresses are less uniquely bridal seems to go along with a greater tolerance for other people infringing on their “pop” factor.

    Now, when I go to weddings for other families, or when it’s a nephew rather than a niece getting married, I’m prepared for a different style; and I avoid that nice pale-mint linen sheath I’m so fond of, in favour of something more vivid. No point in ruining someone else’s day, even if their concerns do seem rather silly and self-aggrandizing.

    Post # 32
    Member
    13563 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    Please don’t wear white to someone else’s wedding. As simple as that. 🙂

    Post # 33
    Member
    915 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Personally, It’s not a really big deal to me cuz everyone at the wedding should know who the bride is anyway and they’re going to pay the most attention to that person.

    Chances are I won’t have to deal with that cuz white dresses are less common in the fall and that’s when our reception is, but if I did then I wouldn’t let it ruin our day cuz I know I’d hate it if someone told me as a bride, I had to wear pure white. I’m wearing Ivory cuz it’s going to be October and I never cared much for pure white.

    Post # 34
    Member
    6065 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2012

    Absolutely not. While I think it would take a lot to distract everyone from the bride, why on earth would a guest wear an all-white or all-cream dress? There are many other colors from which to choose!!

    Post # 35
    Member
    550 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I think it is best to play it safe and not wear white. Who knows if the bride is wearing a traditional wedding dress? Who knows if she’ll care?  I personally don’t care, but I know so many people who do that it is just best not to raise (pointy) eyebrows. 🙂

    Post # 36
    Member
    404 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    If it is distinctly NOT a wedding gown, I see no reason not to wear it!  I mean…you’re not showing up in a huge ball gown, are you?! LOL.  Chances are, the bride won’t even notice what the heck you’re wearing, she will be so consumed with other things, and neither will anyone else.  I say, unless it resembles a wedding gown, or the bride herself is wearing a really casual dress that could potentially look like your dress, I don’t think there is a problem with it. 

    Honestly…the girl up on the altar who was just given away by her dad, who is saying her vows wearing a veil, holding hands with the groom, is going to be the only one mistaken for the bride…not a random guest that happens to be wearing the same shade. 

    Old, archaic rule!!  Go for it if that’s truly what you want to wear!!  I wouldn’t care at my own wedding if someone showed up in white or cream!

    Post # 37
    Member
    404 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    @SoonToBeMrs.Kiss: yes, that was the other point I wanted to bring up: so many brides these days are opting for a colored accent on their dress, or even a fully, head to toe pink, sherbet, pale blue, pale yellow dress, etc.  So with these new traditions becoming more and more popular, the archaic rule of “no white” will soon be obsolete, because modern brides are turning the entire rule on it’s head!  If the bride can show up in whatever color she wants, then so should her guests be able to!

    Post # 38
    Member
    367 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I personally would never wear white or light ivory to a wedding. It’s not going to kill anyone to wear any other color for the 4 or 5 hours that the wedding is taking place.

    Post # 39
    Member
    674 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I voted for ‘other’. I think that as long as you’re not in the wedding party or somebody likely to be in all the pictures, it’s ok.

    Post # 40
    Member
    349 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Awful.. I would totally shoot a dirty look their way.

    Post # 41
    Member
    162 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    If it was someone under the age of 10, then I think wearing white is okay. But Older than that and it seems rude. My sister actually tried to buy a white dress to wear to my wedding, one that was the EXACT color of my wedding dress. I told my sister and the woman at the bridal store she was shopping at, that as the bride, my sister would not be wearing white, ivory, cream, eggshell, or any other color in that family. I have also heard that it is rude for the Grooms mother to wear red to the wedding (unless asked for the wedding colors) because it implies she thinks the bride is a harlot.

    Post # 42
    Member
    899 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I’ve worn a black and white patterned dress to a couple of weddings, but I wouldn’t wear something all or mostly white/cream/beige.

    Post # 43
    Member
    566 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I wouldn’t mind if someone wore a white sweater/jacket with a different colored dress.  If someone wore a pure white dress with no other colors, I would be a bit upset, but I woulnd’t go out of my way to scold them. 

    I would be more upset if someone wore jeans to my wedding than if they wore white (unless they were wearing a dress that looked very bridal).

    The topic ‘wearing white/cream to someone else’s wedding’ is closed to new replies.

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