(Closed) Website RSVP wording

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

One option is to use a Google Doc as your RSVP form. You can change the settings on a Google Doc to allow only those who have the direct link to get to it. You could include the link in your invitation. (Since Google Doc links tend to be sort of long, I would use bit.ly to shorten it. With bit.ly you can even customize the link to be something like: bit.ly/lovelea1-wedding )

Hope this helps!

Post # 5
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I personally wouldnt include that they charge for no shows… I am hoping people dont do this to me though. Its very annoying for people to rsvp yes and then not show up.

Post # 7
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

If you want my honest opinion, I also wouldn’t include “they charge for no shows”…Instead could you maybe just stress how important it is?

Post # 8
3265 posts
Sugar bee

Here are my edits
We are having a very lovely & small, intimate wedding. We are only inviting close friends & their spouse, fiance/fiancee, long term, domestic partner etc. We are keeping the guests to people we know. Only the person/persons named on your invitation are invited so when you RSVP it is assumed that only those named persons from the invitation are attending. Please write in the names or name only of those attending & only those invited. No substitutions. If only some of your invited party can attend only write in their names.


This is an adults only wedding with the exception of the bridal party. Only children listed on those invitations are invited. 

If you are unable to attend after having RSVPd that you are attending please let us know asap so that we may notify our venue. They do charge us for no shows.

Please be sure to mention your meal choice [for the 4 course dinner]. This is a 4 course sit down dinner with the entree being planned for in advance.
I think it is rude to assume people will be rude.  Give them the benefit of the doubt.  If they demonstrate themselves to be rude then contact them and let them know the error of their ways.  It also gives the impression that you think they are stupid.
I would decline attending your wedding if I got such a forceful message, and hadn’t done anything wrong.

Post # 11
3265 posts
Sugar bee

@lovlea1: Re: are you assuming anything?  I think with your original wording you are.  It makes it seem that if you didn’t put that message that people would in fact RSVP. 

Practically, I think that there are dummies out there would be rude.  But I don’t think that painting everyone with that brush before it happens is the way to go. 

It is annoying, but I would deal with each individual that proves to be a doofus personally.  Honestly, it isn’t that bad.  So you call up 10 people to tell them that they are mistaken.  It takes 20 minutes.

Post # 12
3265 posts
Sugar bee

Also for the no shows, I think that it is sometimes unavoidable, and just something that happens.  Sometimes people get sick the day of, have car trouble etc.  There are instances where things can’t be helped.  Of course a gracious guest would call and let you know and be very apologetic. 

I don’t think there is a way to stress how rude it is to no show, without being rude yourself. 

If there are any people in particular that you are worried about I would call them personally a day or two ahead of time, or get your folks to do it if they are closer.

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