(Closed) Wedding 2 weeks apart from my brothers???

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
10542 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

You get one day. They get one day. As long as there aren’t overlapping guests who would have to choose because of travel then I don’t see the problem.

I think your brother is being selfish. They waited 6 years to get engaged! They can’t expect anyone else to put thier lives/plans on hold for them (this coming from someone who waited 7 years to get engaged and whose brother got married 4 months after her). If they want the weddings to be further apart then they can change thier date because they are the ones who want to prioritize that. They don’t get to demand you change your date/venue because they don’t like how close the dates are when you are perfectly fine with it.

Post # 3
Member
315 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

You have been far too considerate of them In My Humble Opinion. They get one day and you get one day. One wedding does diminish the significance of the other. I think you should schedule your wedding for when you want, stand your ground and be strong! You have had to alter too many of your plans just leading up to being engaged just for them.

Post # 4
Member
567 posts
Busy bee

Get married when you want to, how you want to. Where I’m from September isn’t generally sweltering hot, and even if you pick October there is no guarantee you’ll have good enough weather to be outside anyways. If you REALLY wanted to, you could pick a date in September to space them out a little more.

We eloped a little while ago and found out my husband’s step-sister was upset because they are getting married this fall.. our elopement literally did not affect them/steal guests/steal their thunder etc so I just tried not to worry about it. We are hosting a very casual elopement party later this month so a few months before her wedding but both our celebrations have a total of 4 overlapping guests (two step siblings and two parents) so we really did not think it was worth changing our celebration to appease other people. 

It’s sad when families can’t be happy for two different people at once, jeeze spread the love around people!

Post # 5
Member
1281 posts
Bumble bee

You have been too considerate already. It is their problem if they wanted to wait 6 years to get engaged. They don’t get to dictate when everybody else moves forward in their relationship. 

My FH’s best friend has been with his Fiance longer than we’ve been together and got engaged first but we are getting married 3 weeks earlier and we’ve had no problems because getting married is not a competition for us.

If they think it is a competition then he should have proposed earlier. 

Best of luck! 

Post # 6
Member
2847 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

They get ONE day. They do not own the entire month of October. 

I would not change your date or venue. Your brother is being ridiculous. 

Post # 7
Member
47448 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If your overlapping guests don’t have to travel, the date is irrelevant. The only possible objection to two weddings close together in the same family, is the extra expense and possibly difficulty getting time off work for your shared guests.

Post # 8
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

If you don’t have any family on your side who need to fly/drive in and book a hotel, or take time off for both your weddings, this should be totally fine. 

If you do need family to stay overnight in a hotel, then I think it gets tricky for guests to have that expense happen twice within a couple weeks – they might not be able to afford it and you should expect some declined RSVP’s.  

If your brother is objecting not because he thinks his guest attendance will be affected, but because his limelight will be stolen – then he can suck it up! Sit down with him 1-on-1 and have a conversation and see if you can clear the air. 

Post # 9
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I’m getting married the same week as a family member (Sat and following Thurs). Everyone is happy because they can make one trip out of it and get two weddings! And it’s a holiday week so they mostly don’t need to take time off.

As everyone else has said, he gets one day. You’ve got reasons for your date, you’re not doing it to spite him, go for it.

Post # 10
Member
3359 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
jliz :  yes, they only get one day. But they set their fate, you knew what it was, and now you want to book 2 weeks before them. Feels a bit like a dick move if you ask me. But I’m in the minority. 

Post # 11
Member
3235 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

View original reply
julies1949 :  This.

If your family is traveling this is going to make it difficult on guests. 

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