Post # 1
Hi Bees. Need your advice. I am getting married at a Music Hall so about a 20 min. ceremony. Pictures will be taken at the Music Hall on the grounds then also some at the reception which is a Country Club. The Reception is about 20-25 minutes from where the ceremony is.
I was thinking of the Ceremony at 2pm then reception starts at 6pm (cocktails at 6, dinner 7). Some people say that is too much time in between, some say it is “my day” and it is fine, my mom says get married at NOON (NO way too long). I dont want people waiting around 4 hours but we were going to put “ideas” in our invitaions of things to do around the area for them. Do you think 4 hours is too long in between? I mean you do have the ceremony, then talking to everyone, pictures, drive to the reception and so on. Or should I do the wedding at 3 or 330 or is that being too rushed?
I have heard that some people won’t come to the wedding if they feel there is too much waiting time between that and the ceremony. I am so torn. I know it is my day but trying to make everyone happy. Help!
Post # 3
It is pretty common to have a gap in between the ceremony & reception, but I think 4 hours might be a bit much. Are your guests mostly from out of town? Or is it a small town where everyone can find something to do in the gap time? Are you planning on hosting appetizers & drinks during the gap to keep guests occupied? I guess if I drove or flew to another location and didn’t know the area or many other people, I’d be kind of lost for 4 hours…
Post # 4
Definitely wedding at 3:30 or even 4. A four-hour gap is way too long in my opinion, if the two venues are that close. I think 1-2 hours is typical!
Post # 5
I think 4 hours is a long time if you’re a guest. What about planning something for the guests to do nearby? Group bowling anyone? Those pictures would be awesome.
Post # 6
I was torn on that too, because I didn’t want a huge gap but I wanted my pictures done in between. To solve our problems we are doing the ceremony 3:30-4:00, pictures 4:00-5:30 and starting dinner at 6. In between (4-6) they have an hour to explore the art gallery (the venue) and then another hour of cocktails in the reception room. We are also going to suggest bringing shoes to explore the large grounds. All of our things are taking place at the same venue, though.
I think that considering you are 25 minutes from the reception, you likely won’t want to start your ceremony after 3, just so you don’t feel rushed. On top of that, if you are providing an ideas card, then people will find something to do. For my FBIL’s wedding there was a 4 hour gap and a bunch of us ended going out to Starbucks, shopped (it was a cute town) and THEN went to the reception (about 45 min before dinner). People who love you and want to be there will make it work.
Post # 7
@alicat2: Thats too much time, honestly I would go home after an hour of waiting.
Post # 8
I’m having a gap as well, not as long, but there will be a gap. Almost all of the weddings I attend as a guest have always had a gap. Oh well! The invite will state the ceremony is at x time and the reception is at x time. If they do not want to attend the ceremony because of it, it’s perfectly fine with me. Not every couple choses to have a first look and we are chosing not to because it’s something that is important to us.
It’s always good to include info somewhere about the area, things to do, ect. There are two hotels right next to my venue, so if people are getting a room that night they can check in and relax prior to the reception. There are also restaurants, winerys and a downtown area that we will give info on. Wedding websites are great for all that misc info.
It’s funny because I started another thread because I started to feel badly for my guests for the time gap. I am considering prepaying a tab at the winery across the street for the time delay and everyone said I didn’t need to do that. I feel like you can’t win?!
Post # 9
Our ceremony and reception are at the same time, but our ceremony will last about an hour and a half. There will also be a room with cocktails and stuff at the hotel while people wait.
Post # 10
If im an out of town guest, then yes 4 hours is entirely too long unless you woukd be providing something for us to do. If i live in town, then no…but id shorten the gap just to be convenient for everyone
Post # 11
I should clarify that while I think a 4 hour gap is a lot, we are still having about a one hour gap, but that will be our cocktail hour so our guests can get a drink & a nibble while we finish up our photos.
Post # 12
My wedding ran on that same exact timeline and everything worked out perfectly.
I got so many negative comments before the wedding and stressed about having this gap a lot. The catholic gap was by far one of my biggest stressors.
But everyone came. I only had one no show to my wedding. With 210 guests we had well over 100 people at the church. People went and checked into their hotel rooms, went for coffee, went home and changes, etc. Since Darling Husband and I actaully had plenty of time we did a receiving line when people walked into cocktail hours and we got to thank everyone individually without having to go table to table.
If I had a choice I would have had my wedding at 4 and ceremony at 6, but I didn’t and after the wedding I didn’t hear a single negative comment.
Also I agree with what RR stated. Make sure your guest know. I was also going to run a tab at a local bar but we ran out of money and that never happened and guests were still happy.
Post # 13
We’re having a 3.5 hour gap. Wedding at 3 (30 ish minutes) and reception 7pm (no cocktail hour).
I’m in the “I don’t care boat.” It’s a very chinese thing to do… so I’m not overly worried about what guests think. One can either go home, go out for lunch, have coffee, shop or sightsee.
Post # 14
That is exactly how my cousin did her wedding, or maybe the reception started at 5. I can’t remember. Anyway for her/our whole side of the family the wedding and reception were both very local so we loved it! We went home, took care of pets and did whatever before heading over. His family was not local so I have know idea what they did. But personally I loved it! I got to get stuff done inbetween and not feel trapped all day and that lead me to stay later at night.
Post # 15
It’s a long gap, and I’m not a fan.
That being said, who cares?! It’s your wedding 🙂 People can come if they want… or not.
Post # 16
im so glad you asked this!
our ceremony is at 1, and will last about an hour until 2. i obviously want to use time after for pictures because thats what i love most!
i was going to start a social/cocktail hour at 4-5 and then oh balls i dont even know. dinner at 530 or 6? but starting a dance at 7 might be early?
lol its been the most stressful part for me too!