Wedding activities, transport expectations

posted 4 months ago in Guests
Post # 2
2892 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Tessku_ :  I’ve been to a few destination weddings, one was in the French Alps and we had to take an hour or so shuttle to a town, then take this little trolley thing up to the mountain. We paid for the shuttle (round trip) but the couple paid for the trolley (the trolley was pretty inexpensive).

They hosted a dinner the night before and covered all costs although we did buy extra drinks ourselves. At another Destination Wedding that was in the carribean the couple didn’t cover any of our transportation costs to the resort but they did host a dinner the night before and covered all costs. 

Both of the dinners the night before were considered the rehersal dinner, I believe that the grooms parents paid for both of these dinners.

I’ve never had anything the day after the wedding covered and never expected anything like that.

As a guest, it’s obviously nice for the couple to help out with expenses when you’re already spending a shit ton of money to go to a wedding, but I would never expect it. If I’ve decided to come to your Destination Wedding then I’ve already considered the cost and determined I can afford it without any additional help.

Post # 3
13685 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would expect that the transportation to the ceremony and reception would be taken care of, given the difficulties of getting to the location.  

The evening drinks and brunch would be a nice touch, given the expense all of these people put into your wedding.  I wouldn’t necessarily expect it, but I think I’d be a bit disappointed if there weren’t any extra events with the bride and groom.  

For every Destination Wedding I’ve been do, there have almost always been an event the night prior and small brunch the following day.  I can’t recall any that haven’t offered at least one of these, at a bare minimum. 

Post # 4
196 posts
Blushing bee

 Honestly, I would expect at least one of the events but probably the welcome dinner is more important.    Also, with highly difficult travel arrangements, I would expect them to be fully coordinated for me and paid for.   Especially, if this is the only way to get to the places.

Post # 5
783 posts
Busy bee

I’m going to say that no, the events aren’t necesary – though if I were to do one it would be “Welcome drinks” – doesn’t have to be elaborate, just pick a bar and open a tab. Have the event start after dinner and order a few group apps/munchies.

The transportation – YES YES YES a million times YES – do NOT expect your guests to take a public ferry 

Post # 6
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Hi OP, expectations vary widely on this topic.  In short: Yes, I would expect an event the night before and a brunch/ activity the next day. I’ve been invited to several destination weddings. All included transportation from the hotels to the wedding activities, and fully hosted pre and post wedding activities for the guests. Most included other pay-as-you-go options, as well. 

My stance is that if you don’t want to host part of your guest’s vacations, you shouldn’t invite them on a vacation with you.  Very few people want to spend several vacation days and the expense of international flights and hotels for only 5 hours of wedding festivities.  You’ve invited them to fly across the world to see your wedding. If you only want to provide entertainment/ food/ etc for one night, it would have been better to do a local wedding.   

If you haven’t already, please also consider identifying fun activities and sites of interest for your guests and add them to your wedding website. You’re not fully responsible for your guests having a good trip, but if they’re in a country as a result of your invitation, I think it’s proper form to facilitate their enjoyment– especially if the guests don’t speak the local language.

Post # 8
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Tessku_ :  OP, people can’t just “say they’re coming” to your wedding.  Your parents don’t get to invite people to an event they’re not paying for. If you’ve made an agreement to keep this event cost-effective with your fiancee, I implore you to try to keep to the figure.

  $10k is a very different figure than $40k, and a $30k overrun is not fair to pin on your partner and may cause serious resentment later on.  I’m not sure what you’ve already booked, but if you haven’t put deposits down, I would recommend a $10k local wedding for your guests and the luxurious honeymoon you sold your spouse to be on.  A $30k cost overrun and a dramatically different wedding plan is usually not a great way to start a marriage.

Post # 9
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

We had a destination wedding in Puerto Vallarta with about 65 guests.  Beyond the rehearsal dinner, we did not plan any additional meals or activities.  But, everyone was also staying at the same all inclusive resort, so everyone’s Food and drinks were taken care of.

We got married on an island, and the venue included transportation on a private catamaran to the venue and back.  We arranged and paid separately for a large bus to transport everyone from the hotel to the marina, and back to the hotel after the wedding was over.  I think this cost about $2k, I can’t remember the exact cost.  We didn’t want our guests to be scrambling for a taxi in a foreign country, especially late at night when the wedding was over.  I would highly recommend arranging transportation, your guests will definitely appreciate the guesture.  

Post # 10
3394 posts
Sugar bee

What are you serving that results in a > $1,000 per person weddiing?

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